This is a re-post from early in September, but there have been many recent posts on Facebook that have brought this pet-peeve of mind back to the forefront of my thoughts.
I reluctantly admit that I have been watching too much television lately. And the “reality” television that I have succumbed to is the most destructive of all. But there is an alarming trend on these shows that really bothers me. After the self-promotion and sensationalism of parading your relationship across the national airways, they always seem to describe their newly found mate as “the one I end up with”.
Now, I know I’m not the most romantic person on the planet, but if someone described me as the person they “ended up with” I would be more than moderately offended. The quest for love should not result in who you end up with, but who you are fortunate enough to forge the path of your life with. That person should not sound like second prize in a raffle because you didn’t get your first choice.
If you truly fall in love with someone, that person consumes every ounce of your being. It’s like winning a lottery that you never entered. They become such a part of your life that you don’t know how you existed before you met them. They understand what you are trying to say without you having to speak a word.
I can only imagine the person you “end up with” would never have the capacity to know what you are thinking before you formulate the thought. It makes me wonder. If those words are sufficient enough to describe the relationship, the feelings generated from that union are most likely not sufficient enough to make it last. You need to be with the person you can’t live without, and not just the one you can live with or “end up with”.
Perhaps you need to take the time to redefine the feelings that brought you into your relationship. If they are your true life partner, don’t belittle that relationship by describing them as the one you ended up with. Let them know that you consciously chose to have them in your life because there is something they bring into your existence that nobody else could ever bring.
Give your relationship the truth that it deserves. If you have found the person you are meant to spend your life with, be bold enough to describe them that way and don’t ever let them think they were the runner up. Maybe there is a more romantic side to me after all.