I’m at a loss for words…no, really…they’re gone.

14 Comments

I was having a relatively simple conversation with my brother at my house when I realized there was a problem.  I was trying to bring a word from my brain to my lips and it just wouldn’t come.  I pondered, I furrowed my brow trying to push the word closer to my tongue but to no avail.  The English language, the language that I love to use so creatively, now evaded me.  I struggled to grasp for the word ‘futon’ but it was nowhere to be found in the cavity in my head.

emptyhead(image credit)

 I’ve been stumped before but usually, with a little persistence, the drum in my head begins to move and the words tumble like clothes in a dryer and eventually settle on my tongue.  But this time there was no drum, nothing tumbled, nothing settled and I stood there, muted by my exhaustion.

I have been lethargic, to say the least, when I get home from work and can’t find the energy to conjure words from my brain to my fingertips or even to transfer words from a page to my brain.  Writing and reading, once two of my favorite pastimes, are evading my realm of consciousness once again.

I am determined to tuck my body into the cocoon of my bed tonight, sleep until mid morning and wake feeling refreshed and ready to absorb words and create once more!

 

 

Stop talking in circles, I’m getting dizzy

4 Comments

There are some very talented communicators in this world and I’ve met my fair share of them.  While attempting to respond to a question they never really give you an answer. They put on a fantastic ‘dog and pony show’ and all the while they are completely skirting the issue.  They will punctuate their long-winded response with many impressive adjectives but at the end of their verbal rant they have said absolutely nothing that remotely resembles an answer.   I call it ‘circling the drain’.   These people can go round and round, talk until they are blue in the face, but you still are left waiting for an indication that they have a truly analytical response for your original question.

circle the drain

 

(image credit)

It’s an art form, really.  Inherently, every politician or shrewd business magnate possesses this quality.  If they are extremely gifted in this area you leave bewildered, scratching your head wondering if there was, in fact, a direct reply in that barrage of verbosity.  This rare talent is not just reserved for politicians or business people.  Undeniably, many others that walk this planet have this ability to dance around the issue that was presented and confuse us with an orated version of absolute nonsense. There is  no answer in their answer.

They skillfully weave an intricate web of words that resonate no actual meaning but you are so caught up in trying to chase that proverbial rabbit around in circles that you don’t realize that you are no longer even in the same race.  The original question eventually eludes you and you are so confused and lost in the spiral of the phonetics that nothing seems to make sense.

The Urban Dictionary defines the term ‘circling the drain’ in a medical sense.  It is often related to a person that is imminently awaiting death but still clings whole-heartedly to life.  If you twist this into a metaphor, the person answering your inquiry is similarly hovering on the edge of a chasm (of truth) and the life line to which they cling is being able to create an impressive diversion.

If you can keep your focus and interject as much as possible, you can keep the dialogue on the track.  Their circle of delusion will eventually get sucked down that drain.

Did that answer your question?   Was there a question?

Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt

23 Comments

I haven’t been writing much lately.  Whether that is a matter of dried wells of creativity or life getting in the way, I have been denying the reality when it comes to my lack of imagination.

calvin n hobbes

I wish, with every fiber of my being, that I could plunge back into that benevolent ocean of words and ideas and feel buoyant in those familiar waters.  I wish I could ride on the waves of imagery and fantasy and surf on the crest of that elusive swell of inspiration.  But lately the words evade me.  I am a helpless surfer sitting in the middle of a tranquil body of water with no tides to move my motionless board.

I need a storm in my brain to strike and gain some momentum.  I need the winds to tickle the chimes in my stagnant imagination and create a funnel cloud that gathers stories in its fury-filled path.  I need that still ocean to become animated and my lifeless board to carve its way through a sea of new tales.

Or maybe, I just need to write.

(image credit)

A blast from the past

12 Comments

How quickly the past can bury itself under mountains of storage containers and lock itself in a shed.  I have been purging myself of many unwanted items and have stumbled on some treasured mementos that I have been thinking about a lot lately.

I used to love doodling in class when I was in high school.  Art class was the only time during my day where I found myself truly drawn (pardon the pun) into the subject material and would pay attention throughout the entire lesson.

I remember sitting in the library, long before the world-wide-web was introduced and encyclopedias were still a functional research tool, and I began to draw some lines.  The lines continued and a face began to emerge.  I continued, not knowing what the final product would be, and this face appeared.

IMG_1335

Drawing for me, then, was what writing is to me now.  I would lose myself in the process and dabble in many different ways to create a picture.  I painted birds with oil paints on cedar shingles, I would sketch with charcoal, create drawings using nothing but stippled marker and create caricatures of faces that were popular at the time.

IMG_1337

IMG_1340[1]

It’s amazing that I had long since forgotten that part of myself.  That creative side morphed from sketches into stories and now I use my words to paint the pictures that I used to draw.

I have an opportunity to speak to someone who may be able to  help me with a series of children’s books I have been working on.  Last year I began putting out the feelers to find an artist to sketch some characters for me but perhaps it was fate that I found these drawings.  Maybe I can sharpen a pencil or two and get back that love for modeling characters from a piece of lead and see where the lines will take me.

Maybe I should have paid attention in my high school Physics class

14 Comments

It never ceases to amaze me – the amount of hours one works in the real world is directly proportionate to the death of the creative mind in the artistic world.

I remember my Physics teacher in Grade 11 throwing around words like ‘inertia’ and ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’ but I don’t remember studying the direct correlation of physical exhaustion and prolific brain death.  Sure, the basic functions in my body still happen – I breathe in and out, I walk and talk, but the rest of me seems to be on autopilot – like that object in motion that tends to stay in motion.

girl_sleeping

I want to be that object at rest.   I want to remain at rest (for at least 24 hours).  I want to have my brain back – the brain that wakes me up at night, swirling words around in circles until I can grab them all from those word clouds above my head.  I want the ability to form those words into whimsical, thoughtful or romantic lines and be able to feel that creative flow coursing through my veins.

I wonder what Newton’s theory would be on my chances of winning the lottery and being able to retire?  Time + creativity = true bliss.  Take that you crazy scientists!

(image credit)

Sometimes letters come into my brain and form words

8 Comments

I feel the overwhelming desire to write.

For the last few months my brain has been stymied by the oppressive weight of reality.  Sure, a few words have trickled from my brain to my keyboard but I don’t feel like I have been swept away by the truly seductive lure of language.

Now, tentatively, I take step after step back onto that linguistic dance floor.  I wait, alone in the center of the room, until the beat of the typewriter keys finds its rhythm and the words circle around me like a hypnotic song.  I sway back and forth, my eyes close and I lose myself in the art of expression.  Like blood through my veins, the letters course feeding my body and mind with words.

This is my home.  This passion for written expression is where I find my comfort, my refuge.  And though my words are my sanctuary and my escape, they also indulge me with a sense of freedom.

These words are the one place that I allow myself complete abandonment.  I follow no rules.  I adhere to no code or convention.  I simply write what comes to mind and allow myself to become immersed in the river of prose.  I become buoyant in the sea of imagery and I ride the wave of creativity.

Sometimes letters come into my brain and form words.  I am unsure of their origin but I do not question their presence.  I simply reap the rewards of their existence, give in to their demand to be freed and serve my purpose as their translator.

 

 

 

 

 

Feng Shui or other motivational tools

4 Comments

I am admittedly in a slump.  Usually I have to fight off the writing demons in my brain and ask them to speak one at a time. Lately it seems they have staged a coup and the only sound seeping from my cranium is crickets.

Sometimes I see brief snapshots of what those writing demons look like, laid back in the lounge at the back of my brain, crushed velvet smoking jackets on and snifters of Remy XO in their greedy little fists.  Those bastards didn’t even invite me to the party!

Little do they know that after my mom’s service on Wednesday, I am cleaning house.  Those reclining leather loungers are gone and in their place will be some relatively uncomfortable and completely motionless wooden chairs.  The smoking jackets are going to Salvation Army and that Remy XO is mine!

readers-and-writers-chair--UDU2Ny04NzM5LjM3MTM1

I have the movers ready to help with the refurnishing and a yard-sale is being planned for the ornate wall decorations they seem to have collected over the years.  Hopefully the extreme measures will help and the fruits of my labor will be rewarded with words.  If not, I know a cheap writing team that may be available next week.  They were pretty good for a while but they’re so damned stubborn sometimes!!

Stymied by a dense fog

13 Comments

I have been devoid of words for the last few days.  I have felt unmotivated to read or write and that is very unlike me.  I have no clear excuse for the change in my patterns, but have felt a shift in my mood.  A funk seems to have settled in the corners of my brain and is spreading like a low-lying fog making everything in its path disappear.

IMG_1247[1]

I took my dog for a walk this morning and this was the sky that followed us as we forged ahead.  Perhaps it is a sign to me that the light will shine through once again and life will get back to normal.  I have missed reading blogs by my fellow WPer’s and vow to kick these blahs to the curb and feel that flow of creativity once again.

I hope you all have a happy Friday and a great weekend to follow.

Waging a war with words

9 Comments

scrabble-war-of-the-words-small-76455 (1)

I charge into battle,

head held high,

armed with neither knives nor guns.

My ammunition carries no physical weight.

The only weapon I use to defend myself will not extinguish a life.

My battles are fought with words.

The only dagger I possess is my sharp tongue.

My army is my vocabulary,

my stealth is the thesaurus in my brain.

My mind is the only weapon that doesn’t need a holster.

(image credit)

Two Ships

16 Comments

two-ships

His touch,

timid at first, playful.

His eyes held a merriment,

his laughter concealed a deeper emotion.

Fleeting moments of stolen glances,

subtle traces of a finger on bare skin.

His touch,

evolved from an innocent beginning,

holding an unspoken desire.

His eyes burned into hers.

Currents of electricity,

hearts beating,

breath short.

Lips graze, sparks fly,

accepting a shared yearning.

Moments of complete breathlessness,

hearts skipping a beat.

Sustaining warmth in memories,

torn between desire and reality.

The Gods of fate dealt the cards,

flop, turn,

river pushing against the tides.

Two ships,

pulled apart by the current,

sailing around the world,

hoping the movement of the ocean

will make them collide once again.

~~

(image credit: plainadventure.com)