Tag Archives: stress

Stressing the “un’s”

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Life is a mixed bag. Stress is inevitable, but more than likely comes from things that begin with “un”. Things that are unpredictable, uncontrollable, unfamiliar or unseen cause us undue pressure.

We become very uncomfortable and somewhat unsettled forging ahead into the unknown feeling unprepared. We may lack the understanding needed to avoid feeling unsure.

Life can be unfair. Illness can be unforgiving and waiting can be unbearable. The “un’s” hover relentlessly and we are unable to regain a sense of control.

I am struggling to beat those “un’s” into submission, but they are unrelenting and refuse to allow the knots of their hold to be undone.

I, however, am unwilling to admit defeat. That is unacceptable.

She cannae take any more, Captain. She’s gonna blow!

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People handle stress in very different ways and each of us have varying extremes when it comes to our breaking point.  Some are lucky and are able to desensitize themselves to the perils that compound normal levels of stress, while others become weighed down and feel like they are shouldering the burdens of the world.  I am perched precariously in the middle.

I have a pretty high tolerance for stress.  I can quell the volcano of emotion that begins to rise by merely separating the things I can control from the things I cannot and putting out those smaller fires, one by one.   I don’t always win that battle but I do make a concerted effort to not let things bother me that are out of the grasp of my command.

But stress has a funny way of being able to continue a slow burn without any alarms going off.  It smolders behind walls and can ignite spontaneously when it recognizes the slightest bit of exhaustion or defeat.  Exhaled oxygen will spark the embers and the fire of stress breathes new life.  I didn’t feel the heat emanating but the flames got the best of me and, when the inferno had died down slightly, the fiery beast had etched its charcoal marks deep under my skin.

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(photo credit: earthtimes.org)

My tension is now stored neatly in large charred knots under my shoulder blades.  The volcano of stress is no longer spewing lava and lighting fires as it goes, but it is laying dormant under my muscles, reminding me that it has the power to erupt with the slightest sign of newly induced tension.  Any rupture in my otherwise calm facade will bring bubbling magma to the surface and give new life to that slow burn.  Time for some deep breathing and a calming glass of wine!

How does your stress affect you?  Is it an easily controlled burn, or does it rage out of control?

Let your heart be light

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If there is one thing the holidays should teach us, it’s to let our worries go.  It may only be for a few precious days while we focus on the things that are truly important, but if we can embrace that serene feeling while it is in our presence, perhaps we can carry that feeling within us for an extended period of time and not have it fizzle out with the digestion of all that turkey!

Every year it seems the stress is increased exponentially around the Christmas holidays.  The days that we get a reprieve from work are meant to be our “down time”, but the pressure and time constraints of creating our own Hallmark  holiday are overwhelming.  The influx of family from all parts of the globe, the search and rescue mission for the perfect Christmas gifts and the attempt at giving Martha Stewart a run for her money at the dinner table all compound to make the stress level reach its maximum capacity.

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I had the Christmas Carols gently soothing my mood the other day and I took a moment to really listen and absorb the words.  ”Have yourself a Merry little Christmas,  let your heart be light”.   That was an “a-ha” moment as Oprah would say.  That simple string of words had such a profound affect on me and I realized that it doesn’t matter if the presents I wrap look like my dog wrapped them.  Nobody is going to care if I spend Christmas day in my pajamas and my hair looks like I just removed a toque I’d been wearing for days.  The holidays are for just being, not for being perfect.

Take a moment to ask yourself what the holidays really mean to you.  Is your definition of Christmas a perfectly wrapped gift?  Or is it the precious moments when you share a laugh or a hug?  Let your heart be light, and enjoy what the holiday is really meant to represent.  If you worry too much about the perfection of the celebration, you’ll miss the beauty of the holiday.

The most important “Dear John” letter I’ve ever written

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This is re-posted from the very early days of my blogging adventure.  It worked for me once, but I let the bastard back into my life.  I’m hoping by sending this letter again  the message will be loud and clear.

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Dear Stress,

This is the most difficult letter I have ever written.  You have been such a big part of my life, and we have shared many moments together. Through all of the ups and downs, you have always been there, waiting to participate in every aspect of my life.

I can’t recall the moment when we first met, or how we developed such a close bond over the years, but throughout every waking moment of my day, I always knew you were willing to put in the effort to be by my side. We became so close that I truly depended on the fact that you would be there with me, shadowing every moment of my day.

Your fastidious nature made it possible for you to delve into every nuance of my life.  It enabled you to invade the inner sanctum of my being and hold fast to the things you knew I held so dear.

It is with a heavy heart that I have to write you this letter.  Living with you has worn me down to a shadow of my former self.  During our tumultuous relationship, I  lost a part of me along the way and I gave you the power to feel superior.  I made you feel like you had won.

I am writing this letter to tell you that I have found something to replace you.  During the journey that you and I have traversed together, I realized that I had feelings for tranquillity. It cloaks me in warmth and soothes me in a way that you never could.  It takes the time to understand my feelings and spends more time making me feel relaxed and completely at ease.  It gives me the freedom to feel more like myself.

I wish you the best in your continued journey, but I have no place for you in my life.  Our relationship will always be a learning experience for me, but I deserve better.  Good luck in your future relationships with the unsuspecting people who do not understand the power you possess.   I do thank you for opening my eyes and making me understand how much stronger I am without you, but I am taking my life back. I know I have uttered these words before, but this time I am closing the book on our relationship.  We’re done!

Sincerely,

The New Me

All stressed up and nowhere to go

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Last week, I had a brutal nightmare.  I have no recollection of the horror at all, but I awoke in the wee hours of that morning and I was sobbing, full on heaving sobs, and tears were streaming down my face.  I can honestly say I’m relieved that I don’t remember the theme of the night terror that I survived. Naturally, it got me thinking about nightmares and why they occur.

Nightmares are simply a combination of your history of events, and many of those nightmares are caused by the stress of those same calamities.  Whether you realize it or not, you may be dealing with some issues that take hold of your subconscious and wreak havoc in your dream world.  You may not even comprehend that you are holding onto so much of what happened in your day, or your week, but it builds up like a brick wall that crumbles in your sleep and the shrapnel plummets into your waking moments.

Stress is fickle creature.  It can inhabit your daily life as much as it creeps into the blissful hours that should be your time to recharge.  Apparently I didn’t allow myself the down-time I needed to overcome the stress of my day.  When I went to bed, I carried with me each particle of energy-draining angst that I had accumulated throughout that day.  Nightmares and dreams paint a picture of what is happening in your life.  Whether that portrait is drenched in vibrant colors or tarnished with mottled shades of black and grey, the visions in your sleep depict your mood and illustrate the tension you are storing in your body.

I am in awe of the seemingly limitless catastrophes that a human body can endure and process.  Any type of mental anguish it represses during the day will certainly appear in our unconscious state giving us signs that we are walking on a ledge.

Find a way to clear out your negative energy before the weight of your day begins to pull down the blankets of your eyelids.  You will at least have a fighting chance of supplying the artist in your sleep with a pallet of spirited rich colors instead of the monochromatic, threatening spatters of charcoal and black. Free your head of that ticking time bomb called stress and reclaim your restful night of unadulterated sleep.