Take a walk in my shoes

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Judge me not by what you see of my first appearance.  Do not drink in the sight of me without first appreciating the ingredients that were combined to create the final product.  Although by outward appearance you think you may know me, know what I’m made of, but the recipe for this product is the result of a myriad of ingredients.

Before you judge me, put on my shoes and walk through my past.  See what it is that has shaped me and made me the person I am today.  Wear those shoes and glimpse into the experiences that have carved out the life I have led.  Hold fast in those shoes while the toes point precariously over dark chasms and walk freely in them as they guide you out of harms way.

old-running-shoes

Skip happily through my successes, but always be prepared at a moment’s notice to plant those shoes firmly in defiance of those who wished to take advantage.  There is knowledge and power in those shoes.  They hold the key to my existence.  They have led me to triumph and helped me run from despair.

So before you make up your mind about me, take a walk in my shoes.  Watch my journey unfold, and only after you have glimpsed the many facets of reality that have made up my life, only then may you cast your judgement.

Starry, starry night

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I am spoiled.  I live in the most beautiful part of Ontario that offers an abundance of stunning scenery, unending lakes and breathtaking landscapes.  There are moments that I’m sure I take it for granted, but most of the time I remind myself how fortunate I am to be living in such a paradise.

starry night

And with all of the beauty that presents itself during the daylight hours, the sun pulls up the blanket of the horizon and the night-time emerges to share its splendor. The nocturnal winter creatures echo their cries into the vast blackness and the stars tentatively begin to dot the evening sky in their familiar patterns.

The spectral portrait of twinkling lights is awe-inspiring, and, if the skies are clear, it is something we are lucky enough to see every night. I forget that city dwellers are not as blessed because their sight lines are lost in a jungle of concrete, street lamps and high rises.

Looking back a few years, I was fortunate enough to be in Toronto in August of 2003 when the lights went off across the Eastern Seaboard.  Yes, I said fortunate, and I was in many ways.  I was staying with friends at Yonge and Sheppard and was meeting more friends for dinner at Yonge and Eglinton.  I was supposed to take the subway, but was short on time and took a cab instead.  It escaped my attention through the first few intersections that the street lights were extinguished, and as we sailed through block after block, we began to assimilate to the slowing of traffic and the lack of store lights.  The city was getting dark. Had I been taking the subway, I would have been trapped in a blackened metal tomb, as opposed to looking in wonder at a bustling city slowing to a crawl in almost complete darkness.

The dinner was fun and certainly memorable but the most remarkable part of the night was the masses of people on the sidewalks staring up at the night sky after the sun had set.  The stars that I see on a regular basis were seen by so many eyes for what seemed like the first time.  They stood in complete reverence and the sound of silence descended on a city known for its bedlam and pandemonium.  The constellations brought peace to a city of calamity.

Strangers on the street that may have passed each other numerous times without a second glance were now sharing a small piece of the sidewalk, but not only that, they were sharing a small piece of heaven.  Those stars, no matter which province, which country or which hemisphere we are in, connect us.

That Eastern Seaboard blackout was a moment of serendipity – a fortunate accident that allowed many to gaze upon the panorama of stars that would otherwise be oblivious to them. It seemed to bring a sense of peace and fellowship to a city so bent on individuality and alienation.  I didn’t know that in that moment, under the same starry sky that I sometimes take for granted, that I could appreciate my life that much more. Since that fortuitous experience, I make it a point to look at those stars as often as I can.

When I arrived home from curling tonight, that same night sky with the patterned constellations was there to greet me.  I always take a moment to stand in the darkness, regardless of the plunging temperature, and wish with childlike excitement that I will see a shooting star.  I never have to make a wish, because I live where my wish has already come true.

Carpe noctem – seize the night, seize all of the wonder it has to offer and make sure to wish on that falling star.  What would your wish be?

As an addendum to this post, I let my dog out for one last time and saw a shooting star – an yes, the child in me took over and I made a wish.  I hope it comes true.  :)

A million tiny, little things……

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It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see – Thoreau

(image courtesy of dreamstime.com)

The panorama of our lives is directly proportionate to the depth of beauty we allow ourselves to ingest.  Our lives are like a Kaleidoscope pattern and the aesthetics of that pattern, although they evolve constantly, still enchant us and give us new perspective in each shape that is created.  The colors become richer, deeper in hue, and the beauty is carried over from one frame to the next.

The true beauty that we see does not come from looking at the picture as a whole, but by dissecting the pieces and finding the unique qualities that combine in those fragments to create that spectral portrait.   The attraction to the harmonious blend of colors cannot be appreciated without recognizing the million tiny little shards of color that make up the sum of all its parts.

Take the time to really see the beauty in your life.  Give yourself the extra time to really absorb what you see and look a little closer at all of the smaller parts that help create that bigger picture.  It would be sad to think that some of the muted colors were overlooked because you didn’t take the time to let your eyes focus on those million tiny little things.

Get your nose in that rose

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Too often I find myself seemingly wishing my life away.  Well, I’m not really wishing it away, but I do tend to look forward to things I have coming up instead of enjoying living in the moment.  I always comment on how quickly time seems to be marching on, when really, I have created the staccato drum beat that I am marching to and have quickened my own pace.

Years ago, my parents used to listen to a jazz singer by the name of Cleo Laine.   Although countless hours were spent listening to her sultry songs and three octave range, the only song that I can remember with total clarity is her rendition of “Stop and smell the roses”.   Even now, I can hear the song in the recesses of my memory as the words hover in a balloon above my head.  ”The sweetest flowers grow, and then they bloom, but one day they die.”   I need to have that song playing on a recurring track in my head so I can realize the moments that I may be potentially throwing away, the moments that I can never get back, the moments that I missed because I was too focused on what was coming next, the moments that the roses were in bloom.

I wake up every day, I have a few cups of coffee, I go to work – I am living.  But how much living am I really doing in my life?  Am I taking the time to appreciate the things around me, or am I going through the motions with blinders shielding my eyes and completely negating the real things in life that are happening right in front of me?

It’s time to slow down, to take life as it comes and not wish myself into the rapidly approaching future.  It will be here before I least expect it and all of those moments that I could potentially have been creating memories will have vanished.  It’s not often that I buy myself fresh flowers, but today I purchased a bouquet of flowers in anticipation of the post that I would create.  Those flowers are now displayed on the island in my kitchen and each time I pass by that vase of floral poetry, I pause and take a moment to put my nose deep into those blossoms and breathe deeply.

As I sit now, laptop at my fingertips, football on TV, dog asleep at my feet, I gaze across my freshly raked lawn at the beautiful sunset.  The mottled pink clouds scatter across an otherwise clear sky and remind me to pause and absorb the beauty of the moment.  Soon, that rose-colored sky will disappear and the true night sky will be speckled with a spectacular display of stars.  With a glass of wine in hand and a blanket caressing my shoulders, I will take refuge under that night sky and take the time to enjoy the end of my day.

All too often these moments fade quickly, and we are left reflecting on the beauty and emotion of what was, when we should embrace that beauty and those emotions as they occur.  Live in the now.  Stop and put your nose deeply into the petals of those roses and inhale the fragrance.  All too soon, those precious stems will be bare and we will be left with nothing but a memory of a flower that we once had a chance to enjoy.