I tripped and fell upon her scaled shell,
Her feet nowhere to be seen.
She looked at me, somewhat disparagingly
asking me why I’m so mean.
She took my hand and dragged me from land.
Your mermaid is not what she seemed.
~~
Written for the Gargleblaster challenge #168.
Oh to be ripped from land by someone who isn’t what they seem. Tragic.
I thought so too!
Loved this rhyme, especially the words you chose in “she looked at me….so mean” as I can really picture her manipulative character and facial expression. Good job!
thanks very much!
Who is stealing whom, hmm? Super opening line.
Thank you! 🙂
What a great story and poem. I’m continually amazed at how much can be shown in so few words. The last line was my favorite.
Thank you! I really appreciate the comment. I love these challenges.
How very clever! I liked the rhythm very much.
Thank you!
Love this ‘other side of the story’ and that last line is a perfect ending 🙂
Thank you. 🙂
Oh! I like the ‘eyebrow raise’ at the end! Also really impressed that the mermaid was the one taking action. Great response to the prompt. :))
I appreciate that….thank you!
I quite like the idea of a sinister mermaid.
Thank you…I did too! 🙂
What a unique take on the prompt! Well done!
Thank you!
This was a great take! I love it! Very we’ll done!
thanks very much!
Ooops. Looks like she not getting out of this one any time soon : )
Not at all. 🙂
Nice work. Totally the opposite to the friendly mermaids we’re used to! 😀
Thank you….I’m sure one or two of them must be slightly sinister!! 😉