This space used to be my sanctuary, the place I would come home to and allow myself to be the truest version of me. I was able to ignore the world around me. But now, two long months after my last post, I realize the world had called my bluff. It won the last few rounds by catching a lucky break on the river card, leaving me with a small pile of chips and the sheer determination to play one or two more hands to see if I could worm my way back into the game.

For a while, I felt truly defeated. Gamblers with the small stack know their chances of living to see another flop are slim when faced with an opponent who controls the betting. But those same gamblers, the ones who know they only have those one or two more opportunities to command the game, dig deep within themselves to create a strategy. When the cards were not in my favor, I folded, and I waited to see what my next down cards would be. And then it happened.

I peeked at my two down cards and knew I had a chance. I made a smart bet, and the world matched my bet. The turn card gave me even more confidence, and I threw in a few more chips to make the game more interesting. The world saw my bet and didn’t raise. It waited with interest to see what would happen next. The river card was flipped, and I knew I was back in the game. I went all in, knowing the world had an extremely small potential of beating my hand, and I hoped my gut instinct was not wrong.

When the world called, I answered with more strength than I remembered I had. Before revealing my down cards, I paused briefly to savor the moment, knowing the world was waiting to see what I was hiding. For me, that reveal wasn’t in my cards. It was in the belief I had in my own ability to win. I disclosed the two cards I had been holding, and the world had no choice but to reward my victory by allowing me to pull the winning pot to my side of the table.

I am back in the game. The faith I have in myself, and the ability to trust my instincts, has given me the chance to see another flop. The game of life is afoot, and I am anxiously awaiting the next hand.