There is a distinct advantage to having a truly bizarre message on your cell phone or answering machine. Those few audacious lines can thwart unwanted voice messages and cause callers and telemarketers to rethink the redial.
I had blogged here about finding the comedic genius that I have since “borrowed” for my outgoing message and how many times I had to call back to get all of the information but my persistence certainly paid off. I have had many missed callers who have failed to leave a message for me and, since I do not run a business from my phone, I have no qualms leaving things at status quo.
I can discern which callers took the time to listen to every word. The messages I do receive from people who have never heard the message before generally begin with light giggles and a true appreciation for the silliness the message represents. I have been encouraged many times to change my voice message but I cannot imagine any other string of words that would amuse me as much as these words.
This is what callers hear when they dial my number:
You have reached the Port Carling Mental Health Hotline.
- If you are obsessive or compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
- If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6
- If you are paranoid, we already know who you are and what you want, but stay on the line while we trace your call.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
There are extended versions of this message but, sadly, I am only afforded so much time to record my outgoing greeting. If you ever need a good laugh, call me!
Ha ha! What a great idea, Susan! I might have to get your number. 🙂
Unfortunately, we’re bombarded with political calls that are all recordings…it’s so annoying.
Haha….let me know if you need a laugh. I’d be happy to send the number. 🙂
Wonderful, Susan! Anything that can get rid of those dreaded telemarketers is a great idea 😀
I do what I can! 😀
Oh, sorry. I’ll stop now.
Um. Now I will. Really.
Hahahaha…..that just made my morning!! 😀
I’m glad you enjoyed it11111111111111111111111111
Stop it, Mike! Stop it!
Haha….it’s still making me laugh!!
OK. Joke’s over.
Haha….I would have been disappointed if this message had not followed the previous message!!
I was a psychology major in college, so of course, I liked this 🙂