Last week, on a sunny afternoon in broad daylight, someone tried to unlawfully enter my home. My first reaction was analytical. I studied the scene like I was crime scene investigator, and I made mental notes about the point of intended entry and the evidence that supported the attempted access. The following morning while giving my statement to the police, I even pointed out a few details the investigating officer had overlooked. The trespasser clearly struggled for the proper footing and was only able to open the window a couple of inches before they gave up. They were unsuccessful at gaining access, so nothing in my house had been touched.
Hours later, as the emotional ramifications of the failed break-in saturated my delicate sensibilities, I had a complete meltdown. I don’t swear much on this blog, but I’m not going to lie, I was fucking mess. If the person attempting to break into my house had been successful, I would potentially have been face to face with that person in my house upon arriving home from work. I don’t think that reality will be lost on me for the foreseeable future.
After a good cry, I slept surprisingly well, albeit on my couch. Since the intruder tried to gain entry through my bedroom window, I’m not sure how many nights will have to pass before I have the courage to sleep in my bed again. I have repurposed the white boards I have for my writing to cover my living room windows since I do not have any window coverings, and as I write this post, I feel like I am in my bunker, ready to defend my home. I repressed the reality of the violation of my privacy and replaced my fear with anger. I have a metal pole near me at all times, ready to be wielded against anything I deem as a threat. I am now an emotionally unbalanced Rambo, self-confined in a small space, and irrationally bothered by the sound of the hail currently hitting my windows.
But I’ll be honest. Each time I pass my bedroom and look at the torn screen, and the mangled frame of that screen, my anger is being slowly replaced by a bit of empathy for the person who brazenly attempted to break into my house in the middle of the day. I don’t have expensive things. My six-hundred square foot home is filled with things of great value to me, but would not be worth much to anyone else, and I am grateful none of my precious possessions were damaged. But I can’t help but think, what if the person who struggled to break into my house has nothing.
As I process my emotions through the cathartic practice of writing, I know I have riches beyond the measure of anything that holds a monetary value. So many of my friends and family shared their support and concern, and that is worth so much more than anything that can be bought or sold. Their words confirmed that I am richer for having them all in my life. Sometimes it takes a disconcerting event to remind you of the things that mean the most.
polysyllabic profundities 
I remember hearing someone trying to break into my parent’s house when I popped home for an unexpected college weekend. Adrenaline first, meltdown later. Totally relatable. You will feel safe again.
Thank you. Eventually it will be a distant memory.
You will also be more aware of your environment and safety. A positive.
Absolutely!
I can relate and I’m so sorry! My childhood home was broken into while we were at the ballet and stuff was taken. It’s a terrible feeling. A couple weeks ago there was a home invasion on the next street over and my other neighbors gifted me their old and still useful Ring so I’d have video protection as well as all the other security that it seems like we can’t live without in this world.
So true. I keep thinking back to when we never locked anything. My security cameras will be here on Monday.
That’s good. It will help you feel a bit safer, like you have more control over things. I remember the feeling of loss of control when someone had been in our house. It is SUCH a violation, I do understand. I’m glad they didn’t get in. Did any neighbors have video that might help identify who it was?
Sadly, no. My neighbours are close enough to come running if my car alarm continues (my code for I need help) but far enough away they would not have been able to see anything.
That’s good that you have a code so neighbors can call for help, but that just makes me wonder even more about what kind of world we live in where that’s a real necessity. Stay safe!
It is a sad reality, indeed. You stay safe as well.
I’m trying!
I’m so sorry for the anger, sorrow, fear that comes with feeling a personal violation – regardless of the form.
You are right to take precautions – and also right to write.
I will be thankful with you for the blessings we sometimes take for granted.
Stay safe, stay sane.
Thanks so much, Sheila. It is unnerving, indeed. I’ve slept on my couch for the last four nights with my Christmas lights on. I’ll be thankful when I can feel more secure once the cameras are up.
Hope you and Pretty are both well. xx