Open mouth, insert foot

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I will apologize in advance, but this post may encompass a few previous ideas and come to one volcano-like explosion at the end.  It’s time to get personal.

It amazes me how some people on this revolving earth can manage to walk and chew gum at the same time.  The cavernous space where a brain should reside is so glaringly empty, that common sense just bounces from side to side, but is never allowed the freedom to exist or be put into practice.  The filter, that is most commonly used by people who actually utilize the firing neurons in their brain, will inevitably catch the phrases that tumble into our mouths before they have a chance to cross our lips.  That filter can save us from grave embarrassment and potential retribution.  Some people are not lucky or smart enough to know that the filter is available to them, or to be able to use it effectively.

Before we speak, we should ask ourselves certain questions.  1) Is it true?  2) Is it necessary? 3) Is it inspiring?  4) Will it improve upon silence by talking about it?    If not, keep your mouth shut and keep it to yourself.

I got a phone call from my brother tonight on his way home from the golf tournament he participated in today.  He was paired with a local couple in the same business that my dad worked in for decades.  Upon learning of my brother’s family name, the man made a comment so disparaging to my deceased father’s character that my brother was dumbfounded.  That one inane comment continued circulating to the forefront of his thoughts and plagued what should have been an enjoyable afternoon.

Foot in mouth disease is not just a myth.  It exists and is apparently thriving, preying on unsuspecting windbags who do nothing more than speak to hear the sound of their own melodic idiocy.  The venom that is currently coursing through my veins is making my vicious thoughts turn into a verbal barrage of words that my poor dog has never heard before.

If you have been following my blog, you know that I am a firm believer in Karma.  As much as I would like to hunt down this moron and let my vocabulary loose on him with the fury of a thousand hurricanes, I will heed my dad’s sage advice and rise above.   I revert, again, to one of my previous posts and say – you can’t cure stupid.

I can only hope that this sack of leaking idioms will have the light-bulb moment when he realizes what a gross misjudgment he made by opening his mouth in the first place.  And I can only hope he has very expensive taste in shoes, because he just jammed both of those Sperry Top-Siders in at the same time.  Bon appetit, asshole!

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