Perhaps it is the late arrival of Spring weather and the snow still blanketing my lawn. Or perhaps it’s the amount of work I have piled on my desk that seems to keep accumulating. Regardless of the reason, I don’t feel like myself. I don’t feel any impending sense of doom, I just feel like I’m suffocating, drowning in the things that are going on around me and I can’t seem to come up for air.
It’s a disturbing feeling for me. I’ve always been the one to hit things head on and face each challenge as it comes. I’ve never wallowed in self-doubt or self-pity, but these last few weeks have painted an Picasso-like portrait of a person quite different from the paint-by-numbers picture I’ve seen in the mirror all my life. Each day I would fill in the missing colors and paint the spots with the hue that best represents my mood. Generally the colors were bright and cheerful.
I thought I was back on the path to being myself again on Sunday after sitting on my deck and soaking up some sun for an hour. As I lazily looked up into the afternoon sky, the ring around the sun seemed to reflect my feeling of something lurking out there, waiting to descend. The old saying goes “ring around the sun or moon, means snow or rain are coming soon”. One quick look at the weather forecast confirms possible accumulation of 2 cm of snow on my birthday.
I am hoping the anticipated appearance of Spring will happen soon. Once the aroma of freshly awakened earth and the sound of spring birds start to permeate the air, I am confident that my mood will sing and soar with those birds.
If anyone has any nice spring weather you can spare – I’d be happy to send you my address. 🙂