Daily Archives: March 20, 2013

Excuse me, I’m trying to scurry here….

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The Daily Prompt has asked this question: Do parties and crowds fill you with energy, or send you scurrying for peace and quiet?

When I was younger crowds never bothered me.  I went to concerts and enjoyed the combined energy that only a crowd could produce.  But as I’ve gotten older, I have achieved an extreme level of distaste for feeling like a turtle caught in a school of fish.

turtle-amongst-school-of-fish

(photo credit: twistedsifter.com)

That mass of people who hurtle themselves in all directions seem to have no awareness of those around them and give me the sense that I have lost control of my own trajectory.  Malls are especially unsettling for me and I avoid them like the plague, especially during the holidays.  Although there is greater risk of credit cards being compromised with the advancement of hacker technology, I am happy to sit in the comfort of my own home and shop online for those gifts that cannot be purchased locally.

A small party with an intimate group of friends is bliss.  I tend to relax and am able to be myself, allowing my goofy personality to take center stage and I feel more comfortable asserting my need to be the life of the party.  That assertion becomes non-existent in large groups and I get a growing sense of discomfort feeling like that lost turtle again.

Give me a subdued night with good friends, good food and good wine any day.  My life now is about developing those close relationships with people who matter to me.  I don’t miss the feeling of being a pinball in an arena sized game and playing hide and seek with friends in a crowd of 20,000 people.

The cover looked so good

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The bar was at capacity and the air was electric.  The band was loud and the crowd was euphoric, floating on the notes of the songs and dancing like nobody was watching.

He saw me first.  I was at the bar doing everything I could to get the bartender’s attention when he casually slipped in beside me.  With one flick of his hand he elicited a response from the bartender and my drink was ordered for me.  It wasn’t what I was drinking, but I guess he assumed I would enjoy it because it was free.

He was attractive and seemed to ooze charm.  We became engaged in conversation and I was drawn in by his deep blue eyes.  There was a merriment in those eyes and his words fell on deaf ears until I regained my composure and began to participate in the rhetoric.  My attempts to interject words into his monologue, however, were in vain and all I could do was sip the foreign liquid in my glass, nod my head and smile.  I did manage to utter a few “mmm hmmm’s” to make it seem like I was mildly interested.

His inflated ego began to infect my mood.  The conversation revolved solely around him and the walls felt like they were closing in.  I was beginning to suffocate as he used all the available air to continue to talk about himself.  I slowly began to back away from the bar and I don’t even think he noticed.  I lost myself in the swaying crowd and found my way to the door.  As I glanced back to look at him one more time, he was still talking but there was nobody there to listen.

The outward look of him held so much promise.  Too bad the meat of his story contained only one word repeatedly typed on every page – me, me, me.  I should know better than to judge a book by its cover.

~

This post was written for the Trifecta Challenge:

Please pay attention to the third definition this week.  If your post has to do with bacteria or disease, you’ve likely misused the word.

INFECT
1: to contaminate with a disease-producing substance or agent (as bacteria)
2a : to communicate a pathogen or a disease to
b : of a pathogenic organism : to invade (an individual or organ) usually by penetration
c : of a computer virus : to become transmitted and copied to (as a computer)
3a : contaminate, corrupt <the inflated writing that infects such stories>  
b : to work upon or seize upon so as to induce sympathy, belief, or support <trying to infect their salespeople with their enthusiasm>