In what is being referred to as a heinous crime against nature, an unknown perpetrator has assaulted the freshly awakened earth with a blanket of snow. Investigators have a short list of suspects and a few known offenders are at the top of their watch list.
The Behavioral Analysis Unit of the F.B.I. has given their profile to local weather teams and have asked for the public’s assistance in capturing this un-sub before any more damage is done to the pristine Spring landscape. The blossoming lilacs and daffodils have been ruthlessly violated by the cold temperatures and the cover of white powder. Nurseries and landscapers are on full alert and have assembled emergency response teams to assist if necessary.
(image credit: agefotostock.com)
The F.B.I.’s investigative team has predicted a second wave of the assault on Monday night and are arming their troops in preparation of the attack. Unlike the blitz invasion on Sunday, the B.A.U. is warning residents NOT to plant and to arm their patio furniture as a safeguard against the defilement.
If you have any information in regards to the events on Sunday, May 12th, please contact Jack Frost and tell him to EFF OFF!! More news at 11:00. Now back to you.
polysyllabic profundities 
I’m pretty sure this is the work of those unsavory Canadin elements we here of way too often…
I should have set up a “tips” hotline…..although the first tip would be – move south!! How are you, my friend. How’s your break going?
Getting a daily ass-kicking at work, but I’ve been enjoying spending less time at my machine when I’m home.
Doing a lot of reading, doing some writing (which is god-awful), and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life if I grow up.
You know, the usual…
Growing up is highly over-rated. I did it at far too young an age and don’t recommend it. I miss reading….too much going on these days, but I have four more days at this job and then I gain back a bit of freedom. 🙂
I must complain! After finally starting to get some surcease from pain, which I could hope would last for as much as 30 minutes, you post this and force me to read it! Now, my bliss is destroyed, fled in the face of laughter! What an abominable act to perpetrate!
( 😀 😉 )
My humble apologies….the Devil made me do it…honest, I’m a nice person….I really am!! 😉
LOL!
😀
🙂 great! I’m sure the F.B.I. will save the day and put the culprits behind bars!
I sure hope so…..they are holding spring hostage!!
Here too…but we only have the Interpol…
More snow? Well it was cold here too, but not snowy. What’s up with weather? And you?
Weather is improving….and so am I. The world is returning to a relatively normal revolution and the smile is back. And so are the words. 🙂 And you? Hope all is well with you, the lovely Mrs. and the family.
It’s well. Extremely well. But I feel like I’m doing something wrong on the writing front.
How so? I have been feeling a bit similar lately.
One, I feel like my happiness is alienating me from other people who aren’t so happy. And two, I feel like it’s also maybe not giving me as much silliness, or bad times, or whatever inspires deep meaningful stuff.
I could be wrong. But I don’t know.
There are many things in life I wish I had, but other people’s happiness inspires me to be happier.
And that deep, meaningful stuff – is only deep and meaningful if that is how YOU feel about it. Other people get that…..write for you, not for them. They’ll get the honesty in your writing and it will make it that much more meaningful. I’m not trying to preach, but I certainly feel a lot of emotion in your writing and that is what I like about it.
Things change, people get busy – maybe I don’t give back as much as I should.
You give back to the people that matter the most…..the rest appreciate that you give what you can when you can.
Or they think they should matter more, and bail.
Their loss.
And mine? Maybe
Are they really worth it if they don’t get it?
What if I don’t get it?
You get it….you define it….we just try to keep up.
meh…
Just calling it as I see it. Your blog has no definition….no confines….it’s your mind, your world. How can anyone tell you that you don’t get it??
I am one of the many who love that we don’t know what to expect. But every time I read it, it’s funny, it’s emotional, it makes me think and it makes me happy I found your blog.
That’s great – but a lot of people are compartmentalized, and I base that on many blogs I follow that do one thing over and over. Sometimes two. So it sets up situations where I have 4-5 times the followers I had a year ago, but half the views. Explain that one.
That I can’t explain. I have posts that I love that get very few hits and posts that I write on a whim that get more traffic than anticipated. I can’t make sense of it at all.
That used to happen, but now they’re all consistently low-ish.
I’ve had a significant drop in the last month. I chalked it up to the busy season (at least I hope that’s it)
I will tell you….the thing I love about your blog is that is has no boundaries. Your blog embodies the chaos of life and all of the beautiful facets of just being and living on a daily basis. I hope you don’t ever change that.
I don’t think I can. I still separated the poetry out, but I wish I hadn’t done that – it further splits my views, I guess.
I certainly read both….I like the different facets of your mind.
Seems like most people have only a few. It can drive a wedge.