I have been keeping myself busy with ideas for a new book while I have been anxiously awaiting my first book review from my nephew. I had to keep reminding myself that it IS summer and he IS a 14-year old boy with other interests besides reading so I have cut him, and my nervous mind, some slack.
It is difficult to quiet a cacophony in a mind that is continually feeding on its negative thoughts. Like an inferno that is started with one tiny spark, my mind became the spark and my stress was the oxygen that fueled the fire of my doubt. The longer I went without any sort of feedback, the more I convinced myself that the book was terrible and my nephew didn’t know how to tell me that it was a flop. Self-doubt is a vicious thing.
I silenced my doubts this morning as I prepared my meals for this week based on my new plant-based diet. Being in the kitchen always allows me some escape from my reality. After creating my meals, I ran into town and stopped at The Apothecary Shop for a few things. I decided to use the blood pressure cuff to see if my change in diet had made a significant difference to my blood pressure. While I was in mid-check, my nephew had seen my car and come into the Apothecary to find me. The sight of him must have unnerved me because my blood pressure reading was ridiculous!
I couldn’t imagine what was going to come out of his mouth but I began to tug my arm out of the cuff before it had finished deflating. He stood beside me with an apologetic smile. He promised to finish the book before the weekend and that was all he said. I said one word that seemed to hover in the small space between us….
“And………..”, I asked.
“It’s REALLY good”, he replied.
So now I sit, comfortably ensconced in my living room with words churning in my brain for my second book. I have always loved the phrase ‘green means go’ and I feel like I have just been given the green light to continue my writing journey. I’m already excited about this next book and can’t wait to dive in! See you on the flip side.