I am ashamed of myself, in more ways than one. I have willingly neglected this blog for the past three months, and I have recently allowed myself to, once again, bathe in the toxic water known as Imposter Syndrome.
Having just finished the first draft of my sixth novel, I should be elated. I should be patting myself on the back for creating another unique story that has never been told. Instead, I am doubting my ability to write. I am second guessing my talent as a storyteller, and I am apprehensive about reading the rough draft for fear the words have no depth or emotion and hold nothing of value to the reader.
I am sure every author has hit this wall in their writing journey more than once. The fear of not finding an audience for the stories we construct is paralyzing. The thought that I have toiled to combine over ninety-four thousand words and beat them into submission only to have the story fall flat is agonizing.
But somewhere under the somber veil of the debilitating malady known as imposter syndrome lies a beacon of hope. A tiny speck of light looms in the distance, and that light beckons me to continue. Reading stories by other authors has always been a way for me to draw from their strengths so I can become a better writer. But, tonight, I am hedging my bets and reading one of my own books. Of the five stories I have created, it is the one I am most proud to say I have written.
As I turn the pages on my Kindle, I am reminded of the passion I felt drafting this story. I am reclaiming the confidence I felt in myself, and I am slowly letting the water out of the toxic bath and watching the Imposter Syndrome circle the drain before it disappears.
I can do this. I can write.
polysyllabic profundities 
You can – and you must.
Onward.
Wow. It was like I was reading my own story, as you described Imposter syndrome. I recently e-published my first novel (the third of four) and it is set to go into print within the month, yet I am beset with self-doubt like never before.
I am glad to hear that you feel better, I wish I did, but who knows?
I used to read your blogs regularly until about two years ago, when I fell out of touch with just about everything, including myself.
I have been reading and blogging again recently.
I am glad I found your post.
Thank you
Namasté ॐ
नमस्ते
Chazz Vincent
Hi Chazz. I hope the last few months have been better for you. Thanks for stopping in.
I find it interesting that you say you had this doubt about your writing. I was immediately drawn to this blog because of your way with words and description and how it seemed to flow so effortlessly. I’m sorry you had that momentary loss of self-assurance but am super glad you have found it again. I have often heard that when there is lack of inspiration or, in this case, self-assurance, it is best to read to rediscover whatever it was that was lost and that’s exactly what you did. I’ve always loved how you write so I’m glad you love it again too. You are NO imposter by any means.
Thank you so much for the lovely comment. You just made my day. Hope you are well.
Not just can, but Do!
Sheese! six books! I can barely build a boat.
Rock on Poly!
Thanks, Whap! Hope you are doing well. 🙂