Sometimes I forget to breathe



For those who saw my blog post on Tuesday, you’ll know that my mom passed away last Friday.

My mom was such a big part of my day-to-day life.  I find myself staring into space thinking about the precious time I had her in my life and those moments ahead that will feel so empty without her.  In those moments of recollection and sadness, my whole world seems to stop and sometimes I forget to breathe.  A large gasp of air pulls me from my reverie and I spend a few minutes just concentrating on inhaling and exhaling.  My world has changed.

I have received some lovely messages from family, friends in my physical world and friends in my writing world that have been very comforting.  Some of those messages offer hope from the perspective from those who have experienced the same loss and some messages offer condolences filled with grief for the thought of losing a mom.

I don’t think I will ever stop crying.   The moments that tears overwhelm me may become fewer and further in between, but the tears will never become non-existent.  And I’m sure as time moves forward I will just have to keep telling myself – one breath at a time, one day at a time.

27 thoughts on “Sometimes I forget to breathe

  1. I understand your pain.
    Please don’t forget the joy of her life too.
    And that, from what you say, she is always there with you, in your words, in your life, and in the way you face the world.

  2. I lost my stepfather almost 10 years ago, and I still miss him every day. He was the best man I’ve ever known. What I’ve learned is that you don’t get “over” the loss of someone like that, you get “through” it. Eventually, you come to understand that although they are no longer with you physically in your day to day life, they truly do live on in the things you do and the subtly influences they continue to have in you. Over time, those daily reminders will stop being painful and will, instead, bring an appreciative smile for all that they have left behind that still lives in your heart.

    Again, my hugs to you, Susan 😉

  3. I thankfully have not joined that club, but the way you describe your relationship, I have the same with my mother. I talk to her at least 2x a day, sometimes more. My heart truly aches for you, Susan. I pray that with each passing day, the memories of your mother will provide peace for you. You can call me anytime. xoxo

  4. Loosing the ones we love is the heart rendering changes that bring us to a new awareness about many thingz in life, is a part of this planet of learning i suppose, for i have lost a few family members an my father and even a couple of lovers, Peace be with U.. an realize this yes; mom will always be there!… Many Blessings 🙂 … Q

  5. I’m so sorry. My wife lost her dad 2 years ago and we still feel like it was yesterday.

    Hang in there. You have a lot of hugs from georgia

  6. I have been sick the last couple of days, and not so much online, but I am saddened to hear about your mother. I can’t possibly know what you are going through, but I give to you many internet hugs and lots of love.

  7. I’m sorry. :-/
    I have no words… so, all I can offer is HUGS. And I’d offer my shoulder to cry on or lean against or throw punches at if it helps too.

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