I lost myself

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Women of a certain age face many challenges when it comes to our well-being, both physically and mentally. The past eight months have been fraught with many personal hurdles that have made me question, not only my sanity but, my ability to hold on to my image of my true self.

I cannot pinpoint the moment the pieces of me began to slip away. It was not until recently I was able to recognize the imposter living under my skin, and her willingness to strip away everything that gave me strength and happiness. The things that once gave me joy, bared their teeth and sent me scurrying away from them. The things I took pride in soon had me questioning my abilities. And the life I loved seemed to be nothing more than something I once read in a novel.

But tonight, I felt a shift in the dynamic of my life. It was not something I conjured, and certainly not something I expected to happen, but tonight, I feel different. I can feel a piece of myself clawing out from under the oppressive blanket of menopause, and taking my first breath of fresh air. That heavy blanket that has been forbidding me to enjoy life is slowly falling away, and I am able to tell myself it’s okay.

It’s okay to give myself time to figure this out. It’s okay to push projects aside to allow myself the time I need to process my feelings and put me first. It’s okay to ignore phone calls from dear friends, and it’s okay to pick up that next call when it comes at the perfect time.

I know I’m going to be okay. I know I have slowly begun to collect the pieces of me and put myself back together. I feel the shift in my energy, and I know the universe has things in store for me. I may have been lost, but I am finding my way back to me. Look out world, I’m coming back!

2 thoughts on “I lost myself

  1. Menopause is like most things in life with its good points and horrible points. It takes a while to figure out the good, but the horrible ones bite you in the ass on a regular basis. You will survive!!

    Bless your heart as you wander through the wilderness to get to the other side. Two steps forward, one step back…hang in there!

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