Telemarketing at its best


They’re out there – lurking in the shadows, fingers haphazardly typing random phone numbers into their keyboard and blind-siding unsuspecting people with their scripted sales pitch.  And as much as we despise what they represent, they are merely doing a job.  They are collecting a paycheck.  But at some point during their work day, they become desensitized to reality.  They become so immersed in that script and they no longer have the free will to listen and respond appropriately.


(image courtesy of Google)

My mom has lived alone since my dad passed away in 2006.  She received a phone call the other day from an unrecognized number, but she picked it up anyway.  The person on the other end of the phone asked for my father.   My mom told the caller that my father was deceased and the caller simply replied, “I’ll call him again some other time”, and the call ended.  I may not be the most intelligent person on the planet, but I’m pretty sure he’ll still be deceased the next time they call.  Or perhaps this particular company has a listed number for Heaven and, in that case, I would love to see the long distance charges for that call.

I have been one of the fortunate ones and have not be inundated with telemarketing calls since I gave up my land line.  My cell phone has been safe thus far, but I do miss the moments of trying to confuse those callers and rouse them from their hypnotic state.  I would ask them personal questions about themselves and then would inquire as to whether there was an inconvenient time for them that I could call them back.

What is your favorite way to handle telemarketing calls?

23 thoughts on “Telemarketing at its best

  1. I had a timeshare company convinced I was taking a busload of 40 people to their office to hear about their properties once. Satisfying. But yeah, no land line means not many calls.

  2. I used to do telemarketing a looong time ago. One of the less pleasant jobs.
    Now, I like to survey them on how useful their products are for those awaiting death:
    “Well, is there a way to dial 911 from your product if I have a fatal flare-up of my gout?”
    “If I have someone trapped in my basement, hypothetically of course, will your product make their last few hours on this earth more pleasant? Can I just record this call to make them long for death?”
    All asked in a bright cheery voice.

  3. Unfortunately, the DO NOT CALL REGISTRY is a joke. I’m sorry your mother has to deal with that type of call. I used to get frustrated and could be rude to the callers, but one time the caller called me back and said “Don’t hang up on me, I know where you live,” Now I just interrupt their script and say, “I’m not interested, but thank for you calling.” CLICK!

  4. What an enticing subject – everybody has either been one or suffered at the hands of at least one desensitized yahoo! My favorite was when I told the telemarketer I was not interested and he kept going. I said, “You’re not listening to me.” And he promptly said, “No! You’re not listening to me!”

  5. Ugh. Autopilot in those circumstances is really bad form. I hope they were being monitored for quality control.

    My telemarketers all call at work. This is a frequent conversation: Them, “Is the Owner available?” Me, “Who is speaking please and what is it regarding?” Them, “It’s Joe and a personal matter.” Me, “Okay Joe, I screen his calls, but am his office manager, I might be able to help.” Them, “Well it’s really a personal matter so you should put me through.” Me, “I can’t do that, but I’m happy to transfer you to voicemail or take a message.” Dial tone. A couple of times I’ve been called a lot of terrible names. If the same voice calls a few times in a week or two I tell them to pull us from the list, but it never works. Thank goodness I only answer the phone a few times a day.

  6. I am lucky in that I do not get that many calls, but I do get some. How I deal with it depends on my mood at the time.

    1. Sometimes when they ask for me (as they invariably have my name) I will say “I’ll get them for you” and then put the phone on the side and just leave it there. I tend to put it back on the receiver after 30 minutes or so without even listening to see if they are still on hold.

    2. Or I may say, this number is unlisted how did you get my number? What is your name, and the name of your supervisor? They tend to just hang up.

    3. Other times I will stay silent and then just put the phone back on the receiver without saying a word.

    4. If it is for double glazing or central heating or something like that I say it is a rented accommodation (which it is).

    That is all I can think of for now, I have been tempted to play little games with them and go along with it but I just cannot be arsed.

  7. I haven’t had a land line for a while now, but those callers ARE SO ANNOYING! I’m so sorry this happened to your mum – what a stupid thing to say (but they’re not known for their compassion).

    I love the comments to this post and am still giggling at “If I have someone trapped in my basement, hypothetically of course, will your product make their last few hours on this earth more pleasant? Can I just record this call to make them long for death?” LOL!

  8. Wow. What an example! Boggles my mind.

    I despise telemarketing calls. But I have the ultimate solution. No phone. Ever. It’s remarkably effective. Besides, they can still get you at your front door, mailbox, email, TV, internet, radio, and even standing at the urinal. You’re nothing unless you are spending. Got it.

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