I have been reflecting a lot lately – looking back at the phases of my life where I defined myself in terms of my relationships with other people. I even introduced myself with those titles. I was always a daughter, a sister, a step-mom, a wife (now ex-wife) and it has only been recently that I have begun to describe myself in terms of who I really am – me.
All of those monikers are still a big part of who I am, or was, but they are only pieces of my bigger puzzle. I have found new ways to describe myself that truly incorporate the essence of me and not just how my being relates to other people. After years of missing the most integral part of who I am, I have found the proper words to define myself.
(image credit: loridennis.com)
In the past, I had deconstructed myself and put smaller pieces of me into everyone else’s puzzle. I was happy to be the daughter or the sister. I didn’t feel lost nor did I feel any sense of being an incomplete person. I merely slipped into the shadows of the lives around me. I became an extension of them and the fault of that circumstance was all mine.
After many months of contemplative thought I have become aware of a new sense of self – a confidence to simply extend my hand and introduce myself with only my name. There is no longer a follow-up delineation of how I relate to anyone other than myself. I am, in the simplest of definitions, me.
Those fragments of myself constitute a big part of my life but they are no longer words I use to acquaint myself with anyone new in my life. Eventually those pieces of my puzzle will fall into their rightful place but that place is not the definition of who I am.
polysyllabic profundities 
I am looking forward to the time in my life where I’m no longer known as the mom of, the wife of, or the daughter of. Although I do love those titles, I am so much more.
Exactly. I don’t begrudge any of those titles, but I feel there is so much more to us.
Beautifully written :). That’s great that you’ve realised that you’re not simply a product of those around you – but much more. I love those moments when everything suddenly seems so clarified and you learn from it too 🙂
I wish you luck for the rest of your journey
Thank you so much for the comment. It’s too bad these moments of clarity are so few and far between, but they certainly mean that much more when you discover them.
Yeah exactly. You probably appreciate them more when they come. I’m sure you can always set yourself challenges and learn new things as a result. However, most people prefer to stay inside their comfort zone!
I’ve learned the comfort zone is highly overrated!! Time to throw caution to the wind.
:). Good on ya
The last place you need to be is in the shadows. Welcome back to the light, much of which you shine from within yourself. “No one puts baby in a corner.” 😉
That comment just made me smile. You always know the right thing to say! Thanks Ned.
Any time, Susan.
Besides, I stink at puzzles…
Crap….now I’m going to have to rethink your Christmas present….Maple Syrup it is!
I heard it’s good one frozen raspberries!
Haha….it really is. I’ve finally begun refilling my supply since the courier is still missing in action.