I have been reflecting a lot lately – looking back at the phases of my life where I defined myself in terms of my relationships with other people. I even introduced myself with those titles. I was always a daughter, a sister, a step-mom, a wife (now ex-wife) and it has only been recently that I have begun to describe myself in terms of who I really am – me.
All of those monikers are still a big part of who I am, or was, but they are only pieces of my bigger puzzle. I have found new ways to describe myself that truly incorporate the essence of me and not just how my being relates to other people. After years of missing the most integral part of who I am, I have found the proper words to define myself.
(image credit: loridennis.com)
In the past, I had deconstructed myself and put smaller pieces of me into everyone else’s puzzle. I was happy to be the daughter or the sister. I didn’t feel lost nor did I feel any sense of being an incomplete person. I merely slipped into the shadows of the lives around me. I became an extension of them and the fault of that circumstance was all mine.
After many months of contemplative thought I have become aware of a new sense of self – a confidence to simply extend my hand and introduce myself with only my name. There is no longer a follow-up delineation of how I relate to anyone other than myself. I am, in the simplest of definitions, me.
Those fragments of myself constitute a big part of my life but they are no longer words I use to acquaint myself with anyone new in my life. Eventually those pieces of my puzzle will fall into their rightful place but that place is not the definition of who I am.