“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ A.A. Milne
I write this post through swollen eyes and saturated shirt sleeves. Tonight while watching a scripted episode of a television show I witnessed a group of friends bid farewell to, not only a fellow cast member but, a confidant, a lover and a friend. And although it was scripted, it was a heart-wrenching hour that brought any of the goodbyes I have ever experienced bubbling to the surface of my emotions because it was a genuine farewell to a person who will no longer be in their day-to-day realities. The poignant words of the writing team were presented with a deep honesty because the melancholy was sincere and the pain was palpable.
Anyone who has lost someone can relate to the despair I am currently feeling. Memories of the anguish I felt in the moments of my own losses came flooding back and I envisioned the struggle I endured to force myself to change the definition of those bonds. I cried for their pain and I cried for my own pain. The most difficult part of saying goodbye is knowing that you had something remarkable in your life and it was taken away before you were ready to part ways.
Living through a loss is inevitable. We can never fully prepare ourselves for the roller coaster of emotion that follows that loss. Death is hardest on those left here to endure the sadness. It is a closed door that can never be opened again but I hold strong to the faith that what lies beyond that closed door is filled with happy memories and moments that can be cherished by watching the movie of the life they lived.
The bonds we have with those who have left us still remain. The parameters of that relationship may have been vastly altered but the connections we have still exist. We have memories to cherish and, in time, reminiscing will make that goodbye a little less painful and allow the happy memories to outweigh the grief.