I lose time. I don’t mean I have dissociative fugues and the inability to recall past events. Time simply rushes by me at such a fast pace that I seem to lose little pieces of myself along the way, pieces caught in the vortex of the life I am living that is whirling by at a great speed.
Those missing bits seem to fragment during my busy work days and I don’t always recognize their absence until I inch closer to my day off. I feel like a part of me has been eclipsed, hidden in a shadow, waiting to be rediscovered.
Today I had the benefit of finding some of those remnants of myself and putting them back where they belong. Today I came home from work, knowing that tomorrow is a day free from structure, and allowed myself that moment to finally relax and let those misplaced segments of my life re-establish themselves. Today I put my feet into the wading pool, bought for my dog, and let the water wash away the lingering moments of my work day. Today I put together the puzzle that is me with the pieces I had lost during the week. Today I made myself feel like the garden AND the rose.
It is important to take that quiet moment to collect all of the pieces of ourselves that are essential to us and recreate the whole picture of ourselves. Segments of us will get lost along the way but the significant substance of who we are will always find its way back. And in the moments that I was gathering the scraps of me that I had left behind, I came across this picture and it all made sense.