Optimism is contagious

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I’ll admit I stole my subject line from a Maxwell House commercial but it is an adage that resonates with me.  One of my goals for the year 2016 was to start every day with a positive attitude.  It’s going to end as well as it began – successfully optimistic.  Some days are more difficult than others to maintain that joyful outlook but, even under the stress that lurks in the dark corners, I still look for and embrace that light of optimism.

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It’s really not difficult waking content and rising to meet the morning when the light streams through my curtain-free window and falls on the face of my dog.  She is notably glad to see me come back into consciousness and her smile is the first breath of happiness I inhale each morning.  The smell of Hazelnut Vanilla coffee brewing is a vital, but distant, second.

Attitudes are contagious and energy can be vicariously passed, similar to an unseen as a spirit moving through the shadows, and the vital force it leaves behind is just as palpable.  It is constantly but invisibly lingering in the air and the mood that is portrayed is unconsciously absorbed by others.  I know how much a person with a negative energy can affect me and I want to achieve the polar opposite.

Wouldn’t it be great to feel that optimism and zest for life is contagious and it is passed unwittingly to the people you interact with on a daily basis?  They may not even realize the source of their uplifted spirit but their newly found smile has the potential to create a ripple effect.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.  ~Winston Churchill

The mosaic of a life

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My drive to work each day is relatively stress-free compared to most commuters.  I have a 10-minute journey through a small, quaint little town and the traffic in the winter is minimal at best barring any unforeseen wildlife charging through an invisible cross-walk.

This relaxing drive affords me the time to look around and absorb the nuances that make me appreciate the fact that this town is my home.  Like all towns, Port Carling is steeped in rich history and tradition and we are proud to boast those memories in our Museum as well as through unique artist renderings.  In 2005, “The Wall” was unveiled and, at the time, it was the largest historic photo mosaic mural in the world.

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(image credit: muskokalakes.ca)

This tribute to history contains 9,028 individual photos that bring to life the 1922 RMS Sagamo going through the locks in Port Carling.  These photos span a century from 1860 to 1960 and yesterday, for some reason, this mosaic really struck a chord deep within me.  I have passed it every day on my way to work and never took the time to truly comprehend how snapshots of occurrences in our lives can create such a grand picture of our past.

So many little pieces of our history are used to make up our most significant memories. Stopping to look at this wall made me think of all the snippets that have etched themselves into my brain and have begun to create the mosaic of my life.  Some of those fragments in time are dripping with vibrant colors of happiness and others are mottled with the greys of anguish and grief, but all of those hues combine to create the spectral portrait of my life.   

If you were to create an emblematic picture of your journey, what would your mosaic look like?

When the sun shines on June

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I have written many posts about my mom since she passed a little over two years ago.  Some of those stories have been light-hearted and as joyful as she was and some have been wrapped tightly in the veil of loss.

During the past two years, my mother has made it extremely clear that she has been doing her best to keep in touch.  While others may dismiss my belief in her presence, I know in my heart it is not fantasy.  It is not simply an extension of my overactive imagination.  It is not some arc angel named Jingobar trying to earn his wings.  It is my mother – I knew her well enough to know how she operates.

If I ever had any doubt, even one moment’s hesitation that she was working her magic from another realm, she made it perfectly clear last Wednesday night.  Without going into intricate detail, a great deal of my past culminated into a very emotional evening and, where I felt I had failed in the past, I encountered an overwhelming rush of emotion by feeling like I had finally made a difference.

After sharing a very touching conversation with a dear friend and wiping the remaining tears from my face, I walked back in to my living room.  The early evening sun was still streaming through my window as I sat down on my couch.  To my left, my grandfather’s writing desk was cast in half-shadow and half-sun.  When I took a moment to absorb the tableau in front of me, the tears returned.

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The candle on my desk, the one with my mother’s picture, was one of the few things bathed in the sunlight and that light, perhaps my mother’s light, projected a halo onto the wall behind it.  In the two years that her candle has sat innocently atop my desk, this anomaly has never occurred.  A brief twenty seconds later the image, and the sunlight, were gone.

My mom, June as we came to call after this story (click on the link), sent her message in her way and I got that message loud and clear.  There will never be a doubt that she is always with me when the sun shines on June.

 

I didn’t want to exhale

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I missed you a lot yesterday.

Some days are so much worse.

Lots of funny little memories

flooded back and overwhelmed me.

I thought I could smell your perfume,

Lily of the Valley,

and though it was faint,

even in the earliest days of spring,

with no blossoms to be seen anywhere,

I knew it was you,

and I didn’t want to exhale.

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And when the smell of Spearmint gum

overwhelmed my senses,

sometime later in the afternoon,

it was like sneaking into your purse again,

to get a piece of that very gum,

and I didn’t want to exhale.

Those smells keep us connected,

like two worlds coming together

if only for a brief moment.

And no matter how far away you may seem,

those lingering scents make me know that you are here,

standing close to me,

always here when I need you,

and I don’t ever want to exhale.

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If you see me

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reflection

If you see my reflection,

 if my eyes look at you from ethereal places,

know that I am by your side.

I don’t have to be near you

to be with you.

You see me,

at the moment you are in my thoughts,

in the precious seconds

I get to be closer to you.

 Your reflection is in my heart.

It is in the air around me

and in the divine breath that lets me stay in this place.

If you see me,

it is because I never let go of you.

~~

(image credit)

Smile and the world smiles with you

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I have the benefit of generally waking up “on the right side of the bed”, as my mother used to say.  It is a rare day that I wake up in anything other than a good mood.

The sun usually shines in through my curtainless window.  I am greeted by the face of my loving dog and the world feels like it is waiting to greet me with the same happy mood.

When I looked across my front lawn yesterday morning, I was greeted by these two smiling faces.  Randomly created by the snowfall, these faces adorned the back of the Muskoka chair that sits on the edge of my lawn anxiously awaiting the appearance of Spring.

How can you not smile back when the world smiles at you first?

 

Him

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He put his arm around my waist,

pulled me close,

and whispered the word ‘mine’.

I didn’t feel like an object,

I felt protected, loved.

Locked in his embrace,

I felt I was where I should be.

Unlike who I had been,

I let myself feel vulnerable.

I let him take control.

I let the strength of his embrace

assuage any fear I felt.

I just let him love me on his terms.

I curled into him,

and let everything else go.

Because, in that moment,

nothing else mattered.

Nothing but flowers

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You cried,

enduring pain for me,

loving me with never having met me

and I felt blessed.

You stood,

hands on your hips,

a whimsical smile on your face

and I felt anchored.

You embraced,

you wiped my tears,

you listened and never interrupted

 and I felt understood.

You watched,

allowing me to make mistakes,

but always there to help me mend

and I felt empowered.

~

I cried

when you left me.

 In a dream I saw you,

and watched you float.

You hovered,

our eyes met, you waved,

blew me a kiss

and fell into nothing but flowers.

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(image credit)

I cry a thousand tears

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cry

~~

A thousand tears have fallen

and saturated my face.

Keeping alive the memories

that time will never erase.

Salient thoughts burden my brain,

each with a life of their own,

keeping me close to my ardent emotion,

my sadness never far from home.

A rushing wave of sorrow,

an eclipse of what was good,

 trying to find the buoy of happiness,

in the sea of misunderstood.

Embracing loss, moving on,

clinging to what I hold dear.

Knowing that the emotion I feel,

others keep just as near.

I cry a thousand tears,

knowing I am not alone,

 and I hold tight to those who cry with me,

 feeling that they are my home.

(image credit)