My first official book signing party

2 Comments

Every author dreams of sitting at a table and signing copies of the books they have painstakingly brought forth from the depths of their imagination. It is a rite of passage that has always intrigued me and has lingered in the back of my mind since I self-published my first book in January of 2021. Putting out that first book in the midst of a global pandemic was not ideal, so the opportunity to organize a book signing was an unattainable dream that was soon buried under the pile of words swirling around in my brain.

Yesterday, a small group of women I refer to as “The Fab Five” joined me in a small room, and they allowed me to sign their copies of my books and talk about my writing process as well as the difficulties self-published authors face as they attempt to fight their way into the mainstream of the literary world. It is an uphill battle, but one I will continue to walk barefoot in the snow both ways. (I’m showing my age with that reference)

The hour we spent together was nothing short of magical. I allowed myself to feel like an author, and not just a person who wrote a story or two. The more I talked about my journey as a writer, the more I connected to the part of myself that feels like the true essence of my being. I love to write, and I love that the stories I have created have entertained people enough to have them ask to have their books signed by me, and to spark a discussion about the books I will be writing in the future.

When I sent my first book baby into the world, I felt like a writer. But after sitting in that small room with The Fab Five, women who have read and enjoyed my stories, I truly felt like an author. I am compelled to give my eternal gratitude to Nancy, Nora, Evelyn, Sharon, and Jayne. The time you gave to me yesterday inspired me to keep going, and to never lose sight of my dream.

Imposter Syndrome

10 Comments

I had never heard the term imposter syndrome until recently. Admittedly, I was on a huge high after self-publishing my first novel in January and receiving such great feedback from family and friends. My mood was heightened even more when I started getting fantastic reviews from strangers. My lockdown was spent writing, and many others had the time to catch up on their reading, which was certainly to my benefit.

I self-published book number two at the beginning of May and, while it is getting great reviews as well, the momentum doesn’t have the same feel as the first book did. After Googling trends about book publishing, the general consensus was book sales dip as Spring begins springing and doing outdoor activities seem more appealing after spending the colder months indoors. That compounded with the end of the stay-at-home orders should be enough to make my brain understand it will take a bit more time for my second novel to gain some traction, even though it is selling well locally and people are enjoying it even more than my first book.

But my brain did not buy into my logic. It went into self-deprecation mode, and I found myself feeling like I was merely posing as a writer. Thankfully, I have a solid group of connections who are willing to play Cher to my Nicholas Cage and deliver a well-timed slap to my face, Moonstruck style, circa 1987.

After having added 800 new words last night to the fourth book in my series, I am back on track. The handprint is still visible on my cheek, but I seem to have come to my senses and reminded myself that I have talent as a writer. They should make pills for this.

Have you ever been a victim of Imposter Syndrome?

Pulling the trigger

Leave a comment

There are many days I feel like a child who is distracted by shiny things. Yesterday was one of those days.

I had a great chat with my friend, and mentor, Neil. He has been instrumental in keeping me motivated and inspired to follow this crazy journey of writing novels. I knew I had a monumental day ahead, as the 238 pages of my first novel needed to be screened for one final edit before I self-publish on January 11th. But during my conversation with Neil about book number three, my mind took the next exit into creativity and the editing sat on the side of the road with a flat tire.

He had given me a few tasks, and asked that they be hand-written. My pen could not keep up with the ideas my brain was sending. I quickly realized how long it had been since I had actually written anything with a pen, and I struggled to remember how to hold the pen properly. After a few trial runs, it all came flooding back.

Since I spent my Monday afternoon being an author, I had to spend all of today being an editor. I dragged myself out of bed at 6:30 am and spent nine consecutive, grueling hours going through my first novel with a fine-toothed comb. By mid-afternoon, I was ready to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. BUT, The Waking Hours has been submitted to Amazon for approval and I am now drinking wine, and shitting my pants. They really should make pills for this!

The me that is me

12 Comments

sunrise-18a

The sun peeks into my room at dawn,

and I greet it with a smile.

The morning brings the songs of life

and I do nothing but listen for a while.

I smile knowing that all is right

as I prepare to greet the day.

I feel like I am where I should be,

sadness and happiness equally weigh.

Every part of my life right now

is exactly what it should be.

I wouldn’t change a single thing

for these moments have brought me to me.

I have loved and lost and cried my tears,

my heart has been broken before.

But mending those breaks only fueled my fire,

left me stronger and wanting more.

 I know what I want, I know what I deserve,

and that I will never second guess.

It may be elusive and difficult to get

but I will never settle for less.

 The sun peeks into my room at dawn,

never knowing what it will see.

But I greet it every day with strength

and the confidence to believe in the me that is me.

 (image credit)