What do you mean you “end up with”?


I reluctantly admit that I have been watching too much television lately – and the “reality” television that I have succumbed to is the most destructive of all.  But there is an alarming trend on these shows that really bothers me. After the self-promotion and sensationalism of parading their relationship across television screens across the world they always seem to describe their potential life mate as “the one I end up with”.

Now, I know I’m not the most romantic person on the planet but if someone described me as the person they “ended up with” I would be more than moderately offended.   The quest for love should not result in who you end up with but who you are fortunate enough to forge the path of your life with.  That person should not sound like second prize in a raffle because you didn’t get your first choice.

If you truly fall in love with someone, that person consumes every ounce of your being.  It’s like winning a lottery that you never entered. They become such a part of your life that you don’t know how you existed before you met them.  They understand what you are trying to say without you having to speak a word.

I can only imagine the person you “end up with” would never have the capacity to know what you are thinking before you formulate the thought.  It makes me wonder – if those words are sufficient enough to describe the relationship, the feelings generated from that union are most likely not sufficient enough to make it last.  You need to be with the person you can’t live without and not just the one you can live with.

Perhaps we, as a whole, need to take the time to redefine the feelings that brought us into our relationship. If that person is your true life partner, don’t belittle that relationship by describing them as the one you ended up with.  Let them know that you consciously chose to have them in your life because there is something they bring into your existence that nobody else could ever bring.

Give your relationship the truth that it deserves.  If you have found the person you are meant to spend your life with, be bold enough to describe them that way and don’t ever let them think they were the runner-up.

Wow…..maybe there is a more romantic side to me after all.

I wish


I wish I were certain.  I can’t quite put my finger on it.  I’ve only just shaken hands with you, shared pleasantries, but there is more to you.    I feel a depth, like looking into a memory but I just can’t place you.  There is a sudden feeling of kinship and camaraderie and I am immediately at ease.  We fall into a conversation like we have been doing that very thing for years.  I wish I were prepared for this.

We spend time together, we laugh like old friends and we share inside jokes.  Your smile engages me.  I am unable to pull my eyes from yours.  I wish I were able to pinpoint the moment you crept into my heart – the moment that I saw you differently and couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I want to realize that moment and hold onto it for all eternity.  My mind whirls with thoughts of where we could be now had we had these moments so many years ago.

My days are not consumed with thoughts of you but you insinuate yourself into random moments of my day and I can’t help but smile. There is an easiness about being around you.  Your laughter is infectious to me.  The twinkle in your eyes warms me.  I am myself with you.

I wish I were able to quell this feeling.  I wish I were able to push you to the recesses of my thoughts but you invade my reality.  You stir my feelings and you haunt my desires.

How easy it would be to fall into your arms and feel safe there.  How easy it would be to get lost in your eyes and float on the sound of your laughter.  How easy it would be to want to never let you go.

How I wish I were able to include you in my forever.