Whether I label it the “Defense of Defecation” or “The Protection of Poop”, either moniker defines the depth of how stubborn my dog can be. In an earlier post I described the trauma she experienced last Thursday by running into a branch and puncturing her shoulder. She is in a medi-vest and has a cone on her head which has led to our morning routine being completely altered.
Most mornings Callaway had free reign of the nearly three acres we call home. She chased squirrels, followed the scent of whatever vermin have graced our property in the wee hours and did her morning business where nobody could see her while I enjoyed a coffee on the deck. That has all changed.
Each morning we now go out together, Callaway on a leash, me without coffee, and we attempt to find an appropriate spot for her to relieve herself. To most dogs this is a mundane task that they are willing to do almost anywhere. Not my dog. Since the “incident” we spend an HOUR each morning, fighting off mosquitos and Deer Flies, trying to find a spot that she deems worthy and protected enough to be able to empty her bowel. She will never shit on my lawn – that is an inarguable truth. She will regard me with great disdain each time we circle the lawn, me with hopes that her opinion on this will change, she holding strong to her right to defile the back woods in anonymity.
The battle of wills continues. Woman vs Dog. The morning stand-off. But she will always win because I am a pushover when it comes to my puppy dog. Armed with only a hoodie and my good intentions, I shall respectfully follow her to where no man should go and turn a blind eye while she chooses the perfect spot to have her morning movement in peace.