Word Cloud Wednesday

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I’m not sure why this particular string of words entered my head.   The story seems a bit dark.  This post is in response to Word Cloud Wednesday on We poets Show it.  The post should be written with only the words in the cloud.

word cloud

Friends knew. Nannie guessed. Mama talked.

Poor kid – dumped, barefoot,

hands holding little, began tired wander.

“Lightning” later sprinkles farmhouse.

Fireflies. Memorable time,

memorable conversations melting.

Black.

Friends open arms, holding magic – new house, new mama, new daddy.

I will not shed a tear

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Dear Stress,

This is the most difficult letter I have ever written.  You have been such a big part of my life and we have shared many moments together.  Through all of the ups and downs you have always been there, waiting to participate in every aspect of my life.

I can’t recall the moment when we first met, or how we developed such a close bond over the years, but throughout every waking moment of my day I always knew you were willing to put in the effort to be by my side.  We became so close that I truly depended on the fact that you would be there with me, shadowing every moment of my day.

Your fastidious nature made it possible for you to delve into every nuance of my life.  It enabled you to invade the inner sanctum of my being and hold fast to the things you knew I held so dear.

It is with a heavy heart that I have to write you this letter.  Living with you has worn me down to a shadow of my former self. During our tumultuous relationship, I have lost a part of myself along the way and I gave you the power to feel superior.  I made you feel like you had won.

I am writing this letter to tell you that I have found something to replace you.  During the journey that you and I have traversed together, I realized that I had feelings for tranquillity. It soothes me in a way that you never could.  It takes the time to understand my feelings but spends more time making me feel relaxed and more like myself.

I wish you the best in your continued journey but I have no place for you in my life.  Our relationship will always be a learning experience for me, but I deserve better.  Good luck in your future relationships with unsuspecting people.

Sincerely,

Susan

~~

This was actually my first post on this blog site, but it seems much more appropriate now!

Show me the way to go home

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“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.”  ―  Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care

~~

I’m almost at the end of my ordeal, which is good because I’m almost at the end of my rope.  It has been 11 days since I have been out of my house due to a horrible wind storm bringing down my power lines.  The work has been done to reconnect the panel and bury my new hydro lines, but I am now waiting on the administrative portion of the process to ensue before I can have power restored and finally move back into my house.  I don’t care if it looks like this when I return – I just want to go home.

winter

The process, from start to almost finish, has been a real experience.  (It was difficult to type that last sentence without using some really good expletives.)  Although my electrician has explained to my insurance company the value of burying the new wires underground to alleviate any more claims in the future, the insurance company will only cover the dollar value of replacing the existing above-ground power supply.  $$

Because HydroOne insisted on have a schematic of the trench where the lines would be buried (which was veritably a straight line) this delayed the process by 5 days and I had to remove and dispose of the contents of my fridge and freezer.  $$

After a call to HydroOne this morning to find out when they could restore my power, I was sent a contract (with the wrong name and address, mind you) and was told that I now have to pay them $325.00 before they will even come to my house to restore power because I upgraded my equipment.  $$  I have had several people do work at my house and I don’t recall EVER paying those contractors until the job was completed.

After lowering my blood pressure and after the anger subsided, I could still feel a pang of unrest in my stomach.  That familiar feeling I had as a child had reared its head again and I felt homesick.  Send me the fucking bill, with my name on it this time, get some employees out to my house and please turn my power back on.  I just want to go home.

A moment of disquiet

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I have no words.

I feel imprisoned within four walls that don’t belong to me.

Lost in a familiar setting, missing the comforts of home.

Thankful for the roof over my head, but a stranger in these confines.

Going through the motions, watching the clock.

Incessant thoughts running through my mind.  Can’t sleep.

Life is out of my control.

Cracks in my resolve.

I am a creature of habit.  I miss my routine.

I make the best of my dilemma.  I rise above and adapt.

Fleeting moments of angst are replaced by gratitude.

Calming breaths.

Hope for resolution and restoration.

Longing for Mr. Sandman.

Maybe sleep will come tonight.

sleep

Stuck – 100 Word Song

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If only I could let the world see me,

see where I linger.

Caught between two worlds, separated only by a reflection.

I continue to write my words, words that come from a place deep within myself,

but those words will never be seen.

Reality lies above and below me.

I can hide in both of these worlds, torn between them,

never sure of which world I will feel truly defined.

I play a role in each of these spaces.

I let those others who dwell here see only pieces of me, not the whole picture.

Caught between my realities.

Above-and-Below

~

(image credit: naturesedgestudio.ca)

Written as a first attempt at the 100-Word Song Challenge.   Lance introduced me to this challenge and I thought I would give it a try.

This is what it’s about –  A song is chosen and the post that is written has to be somewhat based on that song and written in exactly 100 words.   This week’s 100 word song – Above & Below – The Bravery. 

The nocturnal time-bomb

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Last night I had a nightmare.  I have no recollection of the horror at all but I awoke in the wee hours of the morning and I was sobbing, full on heaving sobs, and tears were streaming down my face.  I can honestly say I’m relieved that I don’t remember the theme of the night terror that I survived. Naturally, it got me thinking about nightmares and why they occur.

Nightmares are simply a combination of our history of events and many of those nightmares are caused by the stress of those same calamities.  Whether we realize it or not, we may be dealing with some issues that take hold of our subconscious and wreak havoc in our dream world.  We may not even comprehend that we are holding onto so much of what happened in our day, or our week, but it builds up like a brick wall that crumbles in our sleep and the shrapnel plummets into our waking moments.

Stress is fickle creature.  It can inhabit our daily life as much as it creeps into the blissful hours that should be our time to recharge.   When I went to bed, I carried with me each particle of energy-draining angst that I had accumulated throughout my day and the stress of what has been happening with my home.  Nightmares and dreams paint a picture of what is happening in our life.  Whether that portrait is drenched in vibrant colors or tarnished with mottled shades of black and grey, the visions in our sleep depict our mood and illustrate the tension we are storing in your body.

I am in awe of the seemingly limitless catastrophes that a human body can endure and process.  Any type of mental anguish it represses during the day will certainly appear in our unconscious state giving us signs that we are walking on a ledge.

We need to find a way to clear our negative energy before the weight of our day begins to pull down the blankets of our eyelids.  We will at least have a fighting chance of supplying the artist in our sleep with a pallet of spirited rich colors instead of the monochromatic, threatening spatters of charcoal and black.  If we can free our head of that ticking time bomb called stress, we can reclaim our restful night of unadulterated sleep.

Letting go – Trifextra Challenge.

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On now to our quick Trifextra challenge.

In The Scorpio Races,
author Maggie Stiefvater writes, “It is the first day of November and so, today, someone will die.”  Give us the next thirty-three words of this story, as you imagine it.  Take it wherever you like, but make it original and make it 33 words exactly.

~

The words echoed as she hovered near him, her warm hand on top of his chilled skin.  He would never come out of the coma.  The monitor flat-lined and he was at peace.

I wish

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I wish I were certain.  I can’t quite put my finger on it.  I’ve only just shaken hands with you, shared pleasantries, but there is more to you.    I feel a depth, like looking into a memory but I just can’t place you.  There is a sudden feeling of kinship and camaraderie and I am immediately at ease.  We fall into a conversation like we have been doing that very thing for years.  I wish I were prepared for this.

We spend time together, we laugh like old friends and we share inside jokes.  Your smile engages me.  I am unable to pull my eyes from yours.  I wish I were able to pinpoint the moment you crept into my heart – the moment that I saw you differently and couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I want to realize that moment and hold onto it for all eternity.  My mind whirls with thoughts of where we could be now had we had these moments so many years ago.

My days are not consumed with thoughts of you but you insinuate yourself into random moments of my day and I can’t help but smile. There is an easiness about being around you.  Your laughter is infectious to me.  The twinkle in your eyes warms me.  I am myself with you.

I wish I were able to quell this feeling.  I wish I were able to push you to the recesses of my thoughts but you invade my reality.  You stir my feelings and you haunt my desires.

How easy it would be to fall into your arms and feel safe there.  How easy it would be to get lost in your eyes and float on the sound of your laughter.  How easy it would be to want to never let you go.

How I wish I were able to include you in my forever.

Journey back to me

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It was a collaboration week for me last week and this time I put some words together with TwinDaddy from Stuphblog.  I’m sure you all know him and if you don’t, you are missing out!!  Take a few minutes to check out his diversity and genuine talent.  Here is what we came up with.

Journey back to me

I put you up there

not knowing that you would fall.

The pulse of the rain matched my heart beat

as I watched you tumble from that pedestal I put you on.

When our love ended, you had further to fall.

 My illusion of you faded.

Your ruse succumbed to reality

as softly as a leaf falls from its tree.

That pedestal floated gently to the ground

when at last you unveiled your true self.

Although my heart was shattered,

it was easier for me to pick up the discarded pieces.

I recognized those parts of myself that I lost,

eviscerated pieces of my soul that you took.

I could finally begin to rebuild the person I was.

Piece by piece, brick by brick,

a new masterpiece painfully crafted.

A new me, a stronger me

able to withstand torrential emotions,

lithe enough to dodge abusive traps.

Your journey was a plunge to the death of the disguise.

My path was a quest to rebuild what was taken.

I emerge stronger, my scars will heal.

I take back what was rightfully mine.

I put myself up on that pedestal.

pedestal

Guess my name – Trifextra Challenge

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His eyes had sinister charm and I was drawn to him.  He was precisely my type.  I was pleased to meet him but he would be like the others.  No names were exchanged.

***

Written for the Trifextra weekend challenge –

This week we’re asking for 33 of your own words inspired by this classic song by The Rolling Stones.  Good luck!

Add your link here!

– See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.9qsmxueq.dpuf