A much needed change of pace

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Tonight was brilliant.  Tonight I came home from work, tuned out all of the outer distractions and got caught up on reading the many blogs I follow and have been missing recently.

Starting a new job always means putting in a few extra hours to learn the ropes – a  few extraneous minutes of time to make the new bosses happy that they made the decision to bring you into the fold of their team.  But with that additional effort comes the realization that other parts of your life suffer in the wake of your desire to be appreciated and recognized.

Lately, my writing has been staggered, at best, and my reading has resembled something close to non-existent.  Life will return to normal when the summer staff come to ease to burden of my multi-tasking, but until then I will steal any moment I can to form thoughts into words and to catch up with others afflicted by the same writing bug that infects my mind.

I appreciate their sentiments, I get lost in their prose and I long for the precious minutes that thoughts form sentences that have meaning.  I yearn for those cherished seconds that words escape from my mind without giving the ideas a second thought.  Contemplation percolates, idioms spill and paragraphs are created.

bloggin

(image credit: imedia.brooks.ac.uk)

To blog or not to blog is not the question.  The only query that remains is how to create more hours in the day to do all of the things I need to do and save times for the things I truly love to do.

Words for the wordies

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I have been working on a novel for a few years. Time that should have been spent writing to get it finished during those years seems to have been interrupted by reality, but I will never give up the dream of seeing it through to its completion, hopefully by the end of this year.

As writers tend to do, I always second guess the salability of the story…..and this, dear friends and readers, is where you come in. The following is the beginning of the book and I would love to get some feedback….positive and negative. From perspective comes growth.

The Waking Hours

Jack Brandon looked at himself in the mirror for the third time. The deep circles under his eyes and the numerous laugh lines did much to convince him that he had earned each of his 38 years. Laugh lines he thought, was the definition of irony. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed. Hell, he couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled. Pulling his gaze from the mirror, Jack glanced around his modest condominium. The collection of antique and clay figurines certainly looked familiar, but somehow seemed vaguely out-of-place. He could not put a finger on it but his trepidation increased.

Shaking off his uneasiness and the frustration of the day, he moved over to the dry sink and poured himself an aromatic glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. He padded barefoot through the plush carpet and sank into his favorite recliner. Although the condo was tastefully decorated, the recliner stuck out like a sore thumb. The remainder of the chocolate-brown corduroy on the arms hung in tatters and foam spouted from the gaping holes, but Jack refused to part with it. The chair had become as comforting as a warm handshake from an old friend – unfortunately, a subject he could not relate to with great authority. Jack had always been a loner. His parents had been extreme over achievers but had never pushed Jack to open up. Before he could rub any more salt in that open wound, he changed his thought pattern to complete nothingness.

The sun gradually lowered itself and began pulling up the blanket of the horizon. As dusk inched its way to darkness, Jack remained listless in his chair. Blackness swept through the apartment and he found himself awash in a cascade of shadows and jagged streaks of moonlight. Although the solitude did have a serene quality, he could not shake the sense that the darkness held some sort of malice for him. After a few more glasses of wine, Jack was feeling the effects and sleep crept methodically into the corners of his eyes and gently pulled down his eyelids. As his breathing became heavy and rhythmic, the black canvas of his dreamscape was brushed clean and anxiously awaited a new splash of color.

~

He emerged from his sleep to a tirade of rasping coughs and shallow breaths. In the seconds it took for him to discern the sounds, he realized they were coming from him and he felt beads of sweat rolling from his brow. His large hands were flailing through the air, reaching out for an invisible assailant. Immediately he tried to relax and gulped large quantities of air. Jack’s dreams had become far more vivid recently and mornings were a constant source of recollection, collaboration and interpretation. The lingering image of a woman was in his mind but he could not keep hold of the dream and she vanished. Pausing only for a moment, he rose unsteadily from the chair and tried to shake the fragments of sleep from his head. Shadows danced in the corners of the apartment and teased his eyes. Still dusting the cobwebs from his mind, he stumbled to the bathroom and seemed to have lost his inner compass. He tripped over furniture and momentarily lost his equilibrium. He cranked on the hot water, stripped out of his clothes and tried to rid himself of his feeling of wariness as he stepped into the shower.

The heated beads of water stung his skin but he welcomed the pressure of the jet streams. Perhaps the pounding shower could help cleanse his sense of growing failure. Real estate sales were down and reflectively brought Jack’s mood down with them. For every day that passed with no prospects, his depression and loss of enthusiasm increased. Something had to change, and it had to change soon.

Feeling somewhat more awake and refreshed, Jack reached down to shut off the flow of water. He halted briefly and stared, completely puzzled. The shower head and faucet were different from what he remembered. He tried to recall if the landlord had mentioned any changes but he had no memory of that conversation. He turned off the new faucets and threw open the shower curtain. The steam from the shower shrouded his vision as he toweled himself dry. As the mist began to clear Jack stepped from the shower and felt a plush bathmat under his feet. He didn’t own a bathmat. He reached to his left to wipe the mirror and his hand rubbed against nothing but tile and wallpaper. As the last of the shower steam finally dissipated Jack’s mouth fell open. He gaped in horror at the bathroom. It wasn’t his bathroom at all.

Under the cover of night – Romantic Monday

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The canopy of stars hung precariously,

while the fire licked the air.

Frogs serenaded the romantic night,

as his hand ran gently through her hair.

She turned to face him in the moonlight,

her reflection held in his eyes.

Her portrait etched in a sea of deep blue,

encircled by sparks, like fireflies.

The night air hovered around them,

warming their skin with its trace.

His grasp on her skin was electric,

 as his fingers outlined the curve of her face.

Her instinct was to move into his body,

and his reaction followed her lead.

She could feel the energy building,

his want, his desire, his need.

The beauty of the night was unequaled,

the passion they felt was intense.

The night slowly swallowed their surroundings

leaving passion to hang in suspense.

clouds

The blanket of darkness surrounded them

as the horizon fell out of sight.

His body became her protection

under the cover of the night.

~

This was written for Edward Hotspur’s Romantic Monday.

Think Twice Before You Post

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Social media has taken over the way we communicate with each other.  When I was a child (and yes, this will make me seem old) we didn’t have cell phones to text every waking idea.  Instead, we wrote letters – in long hand!!  For those of you studying history it was called “cursive”.  We had pen pals from around the world and when we wished to communicate with them we drafted well thought out letters, put a stamp on an envelope and sent it out across the void.  It may have taken weeks, even months, to reach its destination but we also didn’t have to worry about how many other people would read, and potentially misinterpret, the message we conveyed.

stanford-tuck envelope 3

(image credit: forum.keypublishing.com)

The ease of communication now is also dominating the amount of information that we share with others on the social media sites but there are many out there who don’t take the time to think of what they are posting before it’s out there….for ALL to see.  We have such a need to interact with people but we don’t take the time to second guess the content of what we are sharing and who we are conceivably sharing it with.

Facebook and Twitter make publicizing our lives far too easy.  With one click of a button, your latest thought, action or location can be sent into cyberspace and be laid at the feet of the millions of people with access to the “information highway”.  What we don’t think about ahead of time is the fact that once that data has been shared it cannot be un-shared.  You may think that by pressing delete on your keyboard that the material is no longer available, but think again.  It has been data stamped and encrypted and is still recoverable.

There are many minds out there that are far more creative and light years beyond us in terms of technology that have unlimited access to those morsels of personal details that you felt the need to share.  And they, in turn, may feel the need to resurrect that fragment of your life and make you vulnerable in a way you never thought possible.  Innocent pictures of your “girls night out” may find themselves on websites with completely ulterior motives.  Your potential new employer may, and most likely will, seek you out on Facebook to see if the information you have used to beef up your resume has any semblance of truth.  They will also judge your character on the photos you have chosen to share with the world.

Choose your words and your images wisely.  I am trying not to be hypocritical in this post as I am a humble slave to social media.  This blog would not exist were it not for the ease of sharing thoughts and ideas across the vast blogosphere and sharing my posts through Facebook and Twitter.  But I do give pause to the content of my words and status updates before I hit the publish button.  Although I am free to write about any topic I choose, I also want my words to portray my character in a way that I feel truly represents the person I am and will leave no room for any of those words to come back and haunt me.

Don’t always trust the privacy settings to give you that sense of security.  The only real security you can have is filtering the information you post in the first place.  The postman only used to ring twice.  Words that have been sent into cyberspace will ring forever.

Milestones are always a welcome surprise

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I was busy at work today and couldn’t take the time to write anything earlier.  Sad, but true.  My usual routine allows me time in the wee hours of the morning to be creative but this morning my brain put forth zero effort and the page remained blank.  When that situation arises my neurons are ready to fire at lunch and I am able to quickly formulate thoughts and post later in the day.  That was not the case either.

I came home after a tremendously frustrating day of work, poured a glass of wine and opened my laptop to discover two things – this will be my 300th post and, in a few short views, I will have reached 20,000 views on my blog.  Those two things made the horror of my day wash away with the stream of leftover rain cascading across my lawn and made the throbbing in my head ebb ever so slightly.

fireworks

(image credit: en.wikipedia.org)

I am still amazed how words can travel through cyber space and reach people in countries that I have never heard of or knew existed.  The small window of my world opens wider each time a reader chooses to spend the time ingesting the words I long to share.  My words make my existence make sense.  They satisfy me in a way no other passion could and they allow me the freedom to speak from a place of honesty and acceptance.

Thank you all for joining me on this journey through language and life.  I appreciate each and every view, like and comment and look forward to continuing this pilgrimage for a very long time.

The well has run dry

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dry well

(image credit: gamertherapist.com)

I have been writing this blog since August 1st and in that time I have had, it seems, quite a bit to say.  But lately I find myself running out of steam when it comes to the verbosity I have enjoyed and I am struggling for ideas to write about.  The well of idioms has run dry.

I have really cherished the hours spent putting my thoughts into written form and receiving feedback from all of you that are faithful readers, those who have become friends and those that happen by every now and then.  It is with a bit of a heavy heart that I have decided to no longer continue this journey.  With the busy season fast approaching at work, I don’t want to put mediocre words to a page just to fill a space.

If the urge strikes me to write, I may put something on Facebook every now and then, but the challenge of coming up with ideas is becoming a little too much.  Thank you all for following me through this journey and I want to leave you with one last thought from the creative vault:

April Fool’s.

See you tomorrow!!

Choose your words wisely

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There is a myriad of words in the English language to choose from that will accurately portray feelings.  We must go gently into that good thesaurus to succinctly define our emotions.  Words can embody beauty and timelessness, but words can also be weapons.  Words can sting and they can leave scars if not used properly.

The word “hate” is a word I try to use as little as possible.  There are very few things in this world I can honestly say I hate.  There are many things I dislike, even dislike intensely, but hate is such an absolute word and it delivers a large impact for such a small word.  If I am vehemently against something, I will do my utmost to modify my language before I allow that powerful four letter word to escape my lips.  The word hate, to me, is like nails on a chalkboard.

hate

(photo credit – creativeclass.com)

Feeling an extreme aversion to something is a normal human experience.  I have an immense distaste for liver and onions, but I have found many other ways to discuss my negative feelings about the memories of those dinners served long ago rather than use the word hate.

I hear the word hate tossed around so casually and wonder if the people using that figure of speech understand how harsh a word it truly is.   I’m sure if I looked through a magic crystal ball, I would see myself in public school using the word hate several times, not truly comprehending the consequence of using such a powerful expression.  Hate conjures feelings of bitterness and rage in the person using it and elicits sadness and depression in the person receiving it.

Hate is like a virus that slowly spreads through us and pollutes our emotions.  I have the misfortune of feeling that hatred for one person that has affected my life, or more so the life of my brother.  It was twenty-two years ago and that horrible emotion still bubbles to the surface when I think of her.  That one person made me realize the overwhelming feeling associated with that tiny word and she is the only person that embodies the emotion associated with the intense dislike it defines.

Words can be beautiful, but words can also be ammunition.  If misused, those words can cause a great deal of pain and affect people long after those idioms have been uttered.  Each of us has the power to keep our weapon of language holstered – choose your words wisely.

I thought I was in charge

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Writing is a passion that requires discipline and focus.  With encouragement from Sage Doyle, I have made the conscious effort to drag my body from the warm cover of my duvet two hours earlier than usual, saturate myself with coffee and develop my relationship with the characters in my book.  Ensconced in the darkened tomb of my living room, I go on a two-hour journey with people I get to know more intimately the longer we spend together.  They take me with them on their epic adventures and I am merely there to document their trials, tribulations and triumphs.

Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings are now dedicated to coaxing those characters from their lair in the cerebral hemisphere they call home and watching how they interact with each other.  They help me understand their quirks and allow me a brief glimpse into what makes them tick.  They seem to have complete faith in my ability to share their tales from the most genuine and descriptive perspective possible.

Monday night I decided to set the alarm and throw a Tuesday into the early morning writing mix.  I woke up early, grabbed a steaming hot cup of coffee, a liquid that is quickly becoming my life’s blood, and sat waiting for the characters to emerge from their cranial apartment.   I sipped coffee and waited.  I filled the mug again and waited.  I knocked several times on the door that shields them from other cerebral functions, and still, nothing.  I pried open the door to their locked quarters and they were gone.

Those elusive characters, seeing the calendar and realizing it was Tuesday, thought they had the day off.  Not one of them had stayed behind with the hopes of participating in a spontaneous writing session.  They sent me holograms of  photos from Disney with trite lines about wishing I were there and each one of them, even the villain, was wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

mickey ears

(image courtesy of yourwdwstore.com)

I will set my alarm tonight and wake tomorrow with the expectation that they will be here and ready to go to work.  I will only knock on that door once and if they stand me up again, I will have their pink slips ready to go.  They’ll never work in this genre again!!

Daily Prompt – No o’s?

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The Daily Prompt got me again!!  And I love the challenge of omitting a vowel.   I truly hope you won’t find an “o” in the below paragraph!

There are 26 letters in the English language, and we need every single one of them. Want proof? Choose a letter and write a blog post without using it. (Feeling really brave? Make it a vowel!)

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Every day we are ruled by nature.  Weather dictates activities and temperatures mandate apparel.  Climactic shifts are in the near future and spring is imminent.

Winter jackets will be put away, and in exchange, spring ensembles will appear.  Sandals will be the new sneakers.

The white blanket will melt and reveal the buds lying in wait.  Birds will sing their lyrical strains and creatures will saturate the nights with strained lullabies.

Cherished spring – we wait with prescience.

Held Captive – Trifecta challenge

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This is my entry for the Trifecta Challenge, which is this:  For the weekend challenge we’re asking for exactly thirty-three words written in first person narrative. Have fun with it and we’ll meet you back here on 3/3! 

(image courtesy of Google)

brain

I am afraid.  Not of being alone, or of being sick, but afraid my words will not adequately express my thoughts.  I am afraid my brain will betray me.  I am its captive.