The hardest part of playing the role of both child and advocate is making the decisions that you know are the right thing to do, but they are the most difficult decisions to follow through.
I have written recently about my mom’s health issues and having to move her out of her home into a Retirement / Assisted Living Facility and clean the house of her belongings. She seems to be content where she is, but she misses her pets immensely. The decision to surrender her cats had to be done, but not without some hardship and second guessing along the way. The place my mom is living now does allow pets, but we are not sure if this is going to be the place my mom is able to stay.
Trying to explain to my mother why she cannot get another cat at the moment is heart-breaking. She would love to have a companion, but I would hate to see her go through the process of having to give up another pet if she has to move. Sure, we are absolutely doing the right thing but it feels awful.
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I don’t have children of my own so I can only imagine the struggles parents go through having to do what’s best for their children and only hoping that someday those children will understand. I’m not sure if my mom will ever agree with some of the decisions we have recently made on her behalf. I can only hope she remains as happy as she can and some day, years from now, when she joins my father in Heaven she will look back on her life and know we are only doing what’s right for her. I just wish it felt better doing it.
you have explained this so well–I had to make hard decisions at one time and you are right–even if the decision is correct, you do not feel any better about it
No, you really don’t. It’s helpful having family and friends on board, but I hate seeing the look in her eyes when we have to explain the things we’ve done.
for a while I though my dad hated me cause of some decision that had to be made–it had to be awful for him to lose power over his life because of illness
I can only hope they know we made these decisions out of love.
I think they come to realize it – you are brave and you are doing the right thing–we are strong and can be the advocates for those we love (or loved) dearly
Thank you for that.
Doing the right thing sucks sometimes.
Yes, it does.
(((hugs)))
I do not envy having to make the decision to move Mom. I know the time will come, though. 😦
I’m sure it is very hard to see your Mom “need” something, and you’re unable to provide it to her. It must be as heartbreaking as it would be for me, the same instance with my child.
It’s tough, for sure. Thank you for the hugs.
I think the fact that you are so conscious of how your mom feels and about even making a decision that is hard, shows your compassion and understanding. Too many people would just get rid of cats and not give it another thought. Trusting in your own ‘gut’ is an amazing skill that so many people struggle with – you are fortunate to be starting from that place of trust.
Thank you….I can only hope that she will eventually see it the same way.
It’s too bad the place doesn’t have a residence cat or therapists that bring in pets for people to love during a visit.
There are other residents with pets that she can certainly visit. If they brought cats in I would be afraid she would kidnap one and lock herself in her room with it!
Yes, I could see that happening – I did that at age 5.
I was thinking of a general cat that goes all over the building – belonging to really ‘on one’ – like the cats that always are living at my vet’s office.
We used to have a “resort cat” at my old job. The guests loved him, but with all the changes at the resort, Clive was forced into retirement and now lives with one of the old owners.
I want an office cat – I love cats.
After cleaning a two-storey house of cat smells and “gifts”, I will forever be a dog person. 😉
Hee hee… I refuse to take on another pet that requires food and toileting clean up… and I cannot envision myself walking the dog with a plastic baggie in my hand to collect poop. I’ll stick with the litter box 🙂
I do love Golden Retrievers and huge dogs with lots of fur…not so ideal in the desert, however!
No, I would imagine not. I live on almost three acres of property and my dog is very good about doing her business anywhere BUT on my lawn. The joy of having a black lab / border collie cross….she’s pretty darned smart!
Yay! I do love labs and collies!
I’d expect that the difficulty of making those decisions leads you to be even more careful making them.
Your mother is lucky to have you looking out for her.
This is a hard decision and I really feel for you. There is nothing worse than that look of disappointment – it’s heartbreaking 😦