I was in a funk, a genuine textbook-defined funk, and I had given myself permission to wallow in it. I disregarded my routinely sage advice to take it one breath at a time. I blatantly ignored my history of dealing with things head on and I became a turtle, pulling my head into my shell and hoping the scenery would somehow look different the next time my face emerged from that shell.
But each time I gave myself the slightest courage to see if the landscape of my reality had changed, my eyes blurred and my vision became marred by a new set of tears. I promptly pulled myself back in to my shell.
Friends and family picked up on the noticeable difference in the cadence of my voice. I became lost in a miserable state of unhappiness and my writing began to reflect my mood. Fellow bloggers also left encouraging messages in the comments of my blogs but, although I knew I was being irrational, I couldn’t stop crying.
Life has a funny way of interjecting when it needs to bring something to your attention. My funk may have been based on something that could be defined as trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it really affected me to the point of becoming consumed with pessimistic thoughts that I can usually push aside with ease.
I knew I couldn’t change the cards I had been dealt, but one particular comment from a fellow blogger really made me rethink how my hand could play out. I read it a few times until I was able to fully process the message and understand its true significance.
In my melancholy, I had forgotten to give equal value to the potential of a positive outcome as opposed to focusing solely on the negative. I had all but conceded to the loss without allowing myself a chance for a win.
One comment, from someone I have never met in person, changed my outlook. I am no longer dwelling on what could be an unfavorable outcome but giving every hope that something fantastic may be just around the corner. Since I cannot predict the future, I can only wait to see what the outcome will be but at least, now, I wait with much more hope than I had before.