Sometimes you just want to be the biggest loser

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After many months of prolonging the inevitable torture, I am finally ready to admit it is time to be serious and get myself into summer-shape.  And by summer-shape, I don’t mean round.

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(image credit)

It’s time to hold myself accountable for those invisible pounds that crept into my room at night and methodically attached themselves to parts of my body whilst I slumbered.  My wardrobe has begun to mock me while threatening to abandon ship.  It’s time to get a buddy and make the goal a reality.  It’s time to put the spring back in my step instead of breaking the diving board.  It’s time to get back what I’ve lost.  No, wait.  It’s time to lose….what I….got back.  Now I’m confused.

A few years ago, I went on a very noble quest to get healthy.  And that I did.  I diligently tracked my food choices and the only processed food I ate was food I had processed myself.  There was no bread involved, nothing packaged and nothing I couldn’t pronounce.  I simply ate whole, natural food and at the end of my journey I had lost fifty pounds and felt amazing.

As reality is wont to do, it came stomping in and replaced my determination with dejection.   It exchanged my willpower with weakness and it magically turned me into a shape-shifter.  I went from healthy and happy to fleshy and faking it without even putting up a fight.

Well, the gloves are back on.  I remember what it felt like to be so proud of my accomplishment.  I recall how wonderful I felt being so healthy and I wish that for myself again.  Since I began my first journey on May 1st, I shall do the same again this year.  The lemons will be stocked, the spices abundant and the determination back and in high gear.

Cooking has always been a passion so now I shall choose a much more intelligent selection of ingredients before I lift the “mystery box” and delve into the long-lost world of cooking with the right food.  I may not win a million dollars at the end of my arduous journey but I will be The Biggest Loser….or the smallest loser…..why is this so confusing??

 

 

 

When Inspiration and Epic Awesomeness collide

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I would imagine the combination of the two above descriptors to parallel the absolute brilliance of chocolate and peanut butter coming together to provide a delicious taste explosion.  But the truth of the matter, the reason I called you all here, is to accept three awards bestowed upon me by fellow bloggers.  (and since I really don’t like dispelling too much truth about myself, having to do it only once seemed more plausible)

Thank you to my good friend TwinDaddy who hails from StuphBlog.  He has nominated me for the Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness.  (who knew there was such a thing, but it sounds….um….awesome).  His comedic brilliance, humility, heart wrenching truths and absolute Unshittiness™ are worth checking out if you have not stopped by there already.  And shame on you if you haven’t!!

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And then not one but two fellow bloggers nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.  Thank you to Lissa from The Lissa Chronicles and to Nicole from My Desire for Inspiration for giving me a much-appreciated shout  out.  They both share honest opinions about life and what it takes to keep a smile on your face.  Keep up the great writing, ladies!!

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It is customary, once the awards have been accepted, to link back to the bloggers who nominated you, which I have done and tell some random facts about yourself.  I’ll try to keep it light and exciting so you don’t doze off before I get to the end of this post.

  •  As a child, I wanted to be Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory so much that I went to bed with gum behind my ear.  I had to cut half my hair off to get the gum out.
  •  I’m great at giving advice and horrible at taking it.
  • I once threw up all over a friend’s back.  I was holding her hair and rubbing her back while she was trying to throw up and as soon as she did I became the sympathetic puker.  It took hours to clean the bathroom.
  • I have a very wide range of music likes – I listened to Johnny Mathis on the way to work this morning.  Yesterday it was Motley Crue.
  • This will be the last fact because I don’t think I’m interesting enough to fill another 5 bulletin points and you’ve probably nodded off already.

The rest of the rules basically want me to play favorites and nominate a certain number of bloggers for each award.  I can’t do it.  I can’t single out 10 bloggers – simply because each one of the blogs I follow inspires me with their awesomeness on some level.  So in the pure TwinDaddy style of being a rule breaker, I urge you to check out the list of great bloggers on my page.  It will only display 50 (how rude!), but you should check them all out when you have time.

I think my speech time has come to an end….I can hear them cuing the music.  Waiter?  I’ll have a glass of Cabernet…..Waiter??