Hurt people hurt people


Life itself is a study of human behaviour.  On any given day we are subjected to a barrage of human emotions and we are forced to choose how we are affected by the cacophony of those desires, disturbances and agitations.

I have realized more and more as I spend time with people on a daily basis that our moods can blanket a crowd.  Our feelings can either stifle a room with their despondent nature or they can lift a room with their positivity.  And within those moments of truly understanding how moods can be like waves encroaching on a shore I have come to realize a very important truth – hurt people hurt people.  Whether it is their true intention to drown those of us on the shore with their pessimistic approach to life. it seems to assuage some of their unsettled feelings if they can make others feel that same sense of repugnant emotion.

waves on a shore

I can only understand this phenomenon because I approach it from the other side of the behavioural spectrum.  I am a very optimistic person and when life doles out those proverbial lemons I am never upset by the bitter gift.  But for a great number of people out there,those lemons don’t ever have the hope of representing anything as beautiful as what I envision them becoming.  There is no lemon meringue pie, no lemon curd trifle – they see them as nothing more than lemons – sour, porous sponges awaiting a multitude of bacteria to invade their outer skin.

When I am presented with that undue sense of adverse emotion I can only respond with empathy.  I know that the root of that misguided emotion has to do with something much deeper than anything I could ever comprehend by just being on the receiving end of their stinging barbs.   Those people who hurt so deeply want nothing more than for others to feel the pain that they are governed by so they don’t feel so alone in their misery.

Perhaps I have watched one too many crime dramas and understand the true affliction of unhappiness and ingrained sadness.  Or perhaps I have seen first-hand how every day life can try to drain every ounce of positivity we hold so dear.  Whatever the reason, I will always reserve the belief that people’s emotional lives are not linear.  One sudden event cannot bring the peace that they are seeking.  But if we can inject one small amount of good will, some semblance of positive energy into their lives, perhaps we can help eventually right their wrongs and swing the curve of energy in their lives back to the positive side.  Each of us has the chance to inspire goodness every day and who wouldn’t want to wield that power?  We may not be able to make them forget their sadness but, just maybe, we can help them see that within their past angst they can learn to create a new happiness and finally make something good out of those lemons.

“Though nothing can bring back the hour of the splendor in the grass, glory in the flower, we will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind” ~ William Wordsworth


11 thoughts on “Hurt people hurt people

  1. Thanks…I enjoyed reading this post very much. I’ve lived most of my life empathizing and sympathyzing…and sometimes there have been some fantastic rewards…sometimes not. I agree, life is a study of human behaviour…I find detachment very useful the understanding that very often people are reacting to something that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

  2. I read this when you posted it but I wanted to share a quote with you and it took me a bit to have time to find it…so here it is, strangely like, but …

    “When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”
    ― Thich Nhat Hanh

    It’s a beautiful concept which I think you completely nailed in 4 words. Well done. 🙂

  3. I’m So Delighted you wrote this blog. I can share that for me, I do with an Open Giving, and Loving Heart. No Agenda, No Pay Back in return. I had recently spent time with Very, Very Unhappy Folks. I maintained within myself Centering, Balancing, and Love. This was no easy task. As you know these Toxic people Can and Will Suck whatever they can from you. I understood their Unhappiness was much deeper than just the surface. I did the Very Best I could under the circumstances I was placed in. I know that when I left so did the gift of Unconditional Love. I know that during my stay, I spread As Much Love As I Possible Could, and I Felt So Wonderful In The Process.

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