“We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love the changed person.” ~ W. Somerset Maugham
I love stories of couples who have been together for decades, who celebrate year after year together and still maintain that bond of love and friendship. My grandparents had it, my parents had it and my brother has it. I have not been able to weather that change with as much success as they have but that truth does not make me sad.
The most basic definition of change is to make something different. That is how the dictionary categorizes change and I have been through many circumstances in my life that have caused me to become different. Sadly, or perhaps not, I was unable to continue relationships with certain loves because I became a changed person. I had grown from experience, I had aged from knowledge and I had matured from the lessons of my reality.
I am, decidedly, not the same person this year as last. There is an underlying intensity to me that I had never previously possessed. There is a confidence, a slow-burning belief in myself, that is gradually being fueled by the understanding of my recently discovered strengths. And that person did not exist while I was in those past relationships. That person slowly transformed from chrysalis to butterfly, evolved from the person I used to be, and changed into the person I am now.
Certainly it would be a happy coincidence if we are fortunate enough to mature together and to be able to love that changed person in our lives and grow in the same direction. But it would no fault of either person if that change took different trajectories.
People change. Ideals change. Love changes. Our job is to decide whether we, being the person we are now, are still able to love that changed person or whether we need to make a change for ourselves.
“I had grown from experience, I had aged from knowledge and I had matured from the lessons of my reality.”. I like how you put this. You know I was just thinking the other day what a unique opportunity the youtube generation has. They are able to see their less mature selves and watch themselves grow from the outside.
That is a very good point! 🙂
Bravo! A really good piece of writing – plus an even better sense of self-awareness. Make 2016 your best ever!
It’s off to a great start already….thanks Sheila!
It sure sounds like you changed for the better. I am changing toward the crankier.
I have a very hard time believing that!
I love change and when bad things happen to me I use them to grow as a person. Imagine how boring it would be if we didn’t change (I would never like to be my fifteen-year-old self again) 😉 My mother-in-law was complaining last year that she was now married to an eighty-year-old man. Now she’s turning eighty next month, so my father-in-law is saying they’ll be even 😀
Your posts are always so beautifully written xxx
I can’t even imagine being the person I was 10 years ago. I even said out loud in my car on the way to work this morning “I am my best self right now.” And thank you for that lovely compliment. 😀