Category Archives: honesty

Don’t be afraid to speak up

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We all have opinions, beliefs and desires. Some are more apt to share these with others and some feel the need to stifle their thoughts and not share them with anyone. But what makes one desire more worthy than another? What makes one opinion more valid than another? The mere definition of opinion is meant to allow for a broad spectrum of beliefs to hold validity and not be based solely on fact.

Having the confidence to verbally express your ideas is a rare gift. So many of us second guess our thoughts but we need to find the freedom to speak up for something for which we hold true value. Our opinion is our own, it is that simple. No singular person has the right to tell us any differently. And if we are not prepared to speak our minds we lose a big piece of ourselves in that process. We lose our own permission to feel the way we feel and the comfort to portray thoughts and feelings in a way we deem appropriate.  I gave myself the permission to say what I feel through the words in my blog.  While I appreciate comments and criticism along the journey, I have enabled myself to share my voice on a page and speak my mind without worrying what outside influences may try to do to change my opinions.

We ultimately do ourselves a great disservice if we cannot find our voice.  Perhaps the words we utter could give someone else a perspective they would have never considered and, in turn, our reality could shift if we listen to others that have the boldness to speak up and share their thoughts.   We need to become comfortable with the power of words and how to use them to create positive change in our lives.   We should never live in fear of expressing ourselves.  Those words and ideas are what constitute the people we have become and an open dialogue is the best path to forging a truly honest relationship.

We need to stand behind the voice in our head and know that it is fuelled by our heart.  Speak up, speak honestly and speak your mind.  Having an opinion is important, being able to say it out loud is liberating!

A Broken Heart

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There are three things I know about a broken heart.  The first is it will heal.  The second is it will heal.  The third is it will heal.

~

Written for the weekend Trifextra challenge:  This weekend we are asking you to play around with the following quote:

Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind. –Henry James

We want you to follow the same general structure of the above quote.  Feel free to change the subject–tell us what’s important about coffee or houseplants or whatever you’d like.  Or else change up the modifier–instead of telling us what’s important, tell us what’s sexy or overrated or pernicious.  Your last three lines should closely echo James’s, giving us the same answer three times. – See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.7JTIHbF7.dpuf

The countdown begins

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“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

~ H.H. The Dalai Lama

It never ceases to amaze me.  Human behavior, whether good or bad, has enough energy to directly affect our own sense of self.  I am a calm person.  I have always had a great sense of peace about me and am quick to find the good in situations and in people.  But my faith in human nature takes a strong nose-dive when tourist season begins.

When you grow up in a small town or a small community, there is a true sense of peace knowing your neighbors and being familiar with those around you.  You learn to expect a certain level of camaraderie and happiness.  The members of the community embrace you and are quick with a smile and a genuinely warm hello.

With the arrival of the Canada Day long weekend, that seems to have changed.  No longer will you find the locals out shopping at all hours of the day and carrying on conversations as if nothing were more important.  Now those locals are hidden behind the doors of their homes, emerging only in the early hours of the day to do their shopping to avoid the onslaught of tourists.  The freedom of being able to enjoy our tiny town has vanished.

crowd

(image credit: theinertia.com)

I ventured out too late this morning and became caught in the vortex of that familiar angst and cynicism that seems to travel North on Highway 400 and vacation here during the months of July and August.  Everyone is in a rush to get everywhere and tempers are short.  I arrived at my familiar grocery store, exited my vehicle and my eardrums were pierced with two unfamiliar voices arguing about the angled parking  job of one of the overwhelmingly expensive vehicles in the parking lot.  I guess the memo about relaxing while on vacation was never sent!

We, as a community, have 10 short weeks to ‘make hay while the sun shines’, as the old saying goes.  For as much as these tourists treat us as an inferior breed of humans, they are a grand part of our existence.  So we grin and bear it….and we begin the countdown to Labor Day Monday.

Like animals emerging from hibernation, we allow ourselves to come out of our homes and once again greet the land and our surroundings after that glorious September long weekend.  We take deep breaths of fresh air and greet our friends with a smile, having survived another two months of insanity.  The local pub patios are packed with locals happily waving at the cars as they make their way back to their concrete jungle.  On rare occasions, streakers have been known to hit the streets with signs, wishing the tourists a safe ride home.  (well, it may have been worded differently, but you get the idea).

Until that day comes, I will do my best not to let the stress of these visitors infect my happy disposition.  66 days to go….but who’s counting??

I saw your car at the bar…

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I’m amazed and thrilled at how the times have changed.  Not so long ago there was a certain stigma attached to people who “had” to leave their car in the bar parking lot after a night of imbibing.  They were ridiculed by their friends for being so intoxicated that they had to leave their vehicle behind because they were too drunk to drive.

You could drive by the pub in the early hours of the morning and see people doing the “army crawl” across the lot, continually peering over their shoulder to see if they were being watched while they skulked across the pavement to retrieve their vehicle.

car in lot

Nowadays having the clear thought to leave your car behind is being worn like a badge of honor rather than a badge of shame. People that have the foresight to give up their keys and find an alternate way home should be seen as heroes.  If you have to say to yourself, “I’m fine”, you’re probably not fine enough to drive.

On the rare occasion that I go out for a  few drinks, I am one of those people who will put their keys aside and choose to be judged, if you will, for leaving my car in the parking lot and choosing to get a ride home.  Knowing that I choose to put other people’s safety ahead of my need to have my car in the driveway in the morning is a great feeling.  Even in a small town like the one I live in, choosing to do the right thing just feels right.  I may only encountered a deer or a wild turkey, or nothing at all, but I choose to not take the chance of something greater being in my path.

It takes just a split second to make that choice not to drive if you have been drinking. And it also takes a split second to be on the wrong side of the line and cost someone else time in the hospital or even worse.  Make the right decision – park your car for the night and get that safe ride home. I’d rather be the one the one they point the finger at to say “I saw your car at the bar” then to be the one that caused the accident that cost someone their life.

I feel my temperature rising

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Heat stealing my resolve,

lethargy setting in.

Too tired to write.

Blood reaching the boiling point.

Humidity envelops my skin,

melting the marks that make me who I am.

I exist in a puddle of sweat.

Fan only blows molecules of my existence through the air.

I feel like an egg on asphalt

bubbling on the surface and fried.

egg on pavement

(image credit: flickr.com)

Not enough energy to install A/C.

Mercury is no match for my inner thermometer.

Cold shower water pierces my skin like jagged knives.

Steam escapes.

A welcome release.

A wink and a smile

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I like the fact that simple things still make me smile.  There is something about a wink that lifts my spirits…..it makes me feel like that shared moment was just for me.  A wink can warm my soul and make me feel more connected to the person taking the time to make the gesture in the first place.

There is an inherent difference between the joking, fun wink with the silly face and the genuine ‘I feel a connection’ wink that is far more heart-felt. A wink can communicate an unspoken string of words that compels the person receiving it to smile in return.

A wink can have many underlying meanings.  A single wink can signify solidarity in a friendship, an implication of a closeness shared by two people.  It can represent a shared secret and that simple gesture can bond two people in a mischievous way by allowing them to communicate without words.

wink

Winking can also be used to convey approval, but the most widely sought after wink is the provocative wink that may affirm a more intimate connection.  The wink that makes you blush and feel giddy, makes your heart beat a little faster and catches your breath in your throat.  If the wink has the desired effect the somewhat shy, flirtatious smile from the person receiving the wink is the natural response.

Successful relationships of any nature are based on open dialogue, discussion and honesty.  But in today’s modern romance fewer words and a simple wink can go a long way.  😉

The Commish is back in the house

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I am a Canadian who admittedly can’t watch the CFL although I am a football fanatic.  The culmination of my love of football was derived from years of watching the NFL.  My parents were Hamilton Ti-Cat fans, but I was always drawn to American Football and my love of the rules of the National Football League.

Hail Mary has much meaning for me, although I am not a religious person.  The tension on the field, the true grit of play and the excitement of the game has a hold on me that I have not yet been able to explain.  And I will vehemently negate any arguments that I watch the game for the tight pants.  I know the rules.  I know the game.  And during the NFL season, I eat, sleep and breathe football.

football

Once the season begins I yearn for Sundays.  If I am not working, I am comfortably ensconced in my living room watching the pre-game shows until the 1:00 kick off.  I can spend 10 hours in my living room yelling obscenities at my 46″ monitor and loving every second of the game. (I’m sure there are meetings for this!)

My love of the sport may have morphed into a slight obsession.  I took over a football pool about 10 years ago that had 15 participants.  Last year we topped the participation with 65 people at $250.00 each for the entry fee.  It was a busy season but time that I truly enjoyed spending creating spreadsheets and announcing the winners of each week.  Having 65 people picking 13 to 16 games a week is like having a second job, but one I would not give up.  My nickname during the football season is “The Commish” and it is a moniker I hold onto with great pride.

I have just sent my first email of the year to round up people to participate in the 2013 / 2014 football pool and I feel like a kid waiting to go to Disneyland.  The spreadsheets are set for another year and pre-season is around the corner.  The Chargers roster is pumped and ready to do me proud this year.  My jerseys are hanging in my closet and I eagerly anticipate the kick-off to the Hall of Fame Game on August 4th.

I am about to put the laptop to bed and watch The Replacements.  Although Keanu Reeves is not the best actor in the world, it is one of my favorite football movies and I need to get back into “Commish-mode”.  It’s 4th and 1 on the 1 yard line and I’m about to take the snap.  Hut, hut.

Happy Father’s Day – a message to Heaven

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My dad passed away over seven years ago.  I miss his smile, I miss his laugh and I miss the good times we used to have.  This is a poem I wrote when they dedicated a freshly planted tree and and a plaque to him in our new community park after his passing.  Happy Father’s Day to my dad and to all the dads out there.  I hope you are able to create memories with your kids that will last a lifetime.

new-52

(my dad)

~

We give these gifts of nature in your name,

To forever keep you near.

To take root in a place you kept close to your heart,

And represent the things you hold dear.

Your rock will remind us to always be strong,

And to remain solid in the lives we love.

And follow in the examples you gave us in life,

As you look on us from above.

Your tree will remind us to accept the changes,

Of seasons that come and go.

As the tree becomes bare at times in our life,

New leaves will blossom in time to show.

That nature is beautiful and life has a season,

but all things do come to an end.

And with each change and leaf that is lost,

Family and friendships help mend.

Branches sway in the winds of time,

And your whispers will be heard in the breeze.

Your memory lives on in the nature around us,

The air, the rocks, the trees.

When the stars align

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I am a big believer in fate and fortuitous moments.  The thought of serendipity, fortunate accidents, being a guiding force in my life gives cause for excitement to see what the day will bring.  Last week the stars lined up in perfect symmetry to make one of those moments happen, although the initial picture seemed grim.

stars align

(image credit: ehow.com)

All of the strategic planning I had done the week prior was time that could have been better spent.  The fickle Gods of Fate, the ones who should have been expelled from Celestial School, stuck their finger into my life and muddied the waters of my mirage in mere seconds. The murky vision left behind no longer resembled any of the best laid plans I had made.

As with all things, I adapted and forged ahead.  The moment that had been so anticipated was now just a vague memory of an eager smile.  The dirt began to settle at the bottom of my pond, but the reflection had been altered.

The serendipitous moment came out of nowhere.  The pieces of the puzzle I had begun creating the week before began to magically fall into their originally intended spaces and my smile was even wider.  This felt like a sign that those stars were meant to align to make that day happen.

These are the rare moments that I can truly treasure.  Those unanticipated moments that something steps in to change the course of our trajectory and helps us to follow the path that we wished to follow in the first place, but were thrown off course.  Thank you, serendipity.  Come and find me anytime.

Don’t hate the haters

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There will always be people out there with nothing but negative energy.  They hate their job, they hate where they live and they take that bitterness into every moment of their day.  They hate us for being positive.  So why should we reciprocate and send that hate back to them for being haters?

We can’t hate the haters.  Being around negative people makes me want to be even more positive than I already am.  It’s better to be hated for who you are instead of being loved for who you are not.  Nothing annoys a hater more than your forgiveness. They seek conflict and if they don’t get it, they will just hate you more.

hater

There is a fine balance in the world and we struggle to maintain that level with every ounce of positive energy we have.  Being around people who constantly have that dark cloud hovering over them motivates me to make a conscious effort to keep my mood light and happy.

I’m not going to lie and tell you I haven’t had moments of immense dislike within me, but I choose to rise above that venom that can penetrate the soul and find the lesson in the situation that caused that hatred in the first place.  My mother always said “it takes all kinds to make the world go round” and I now know what she meant.  If it weren’t for the haters, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate being the lovers.

We need to learn to rise above that feeling of hate and figure out what that anger is teaching us.  The haters will never have that perspective but we can motivate ourselves to see beyond the malevolence that bubbles within us and move beyond the hate.

Appreciate the haters for teaching us how much better it is to love and be happy.  Life is short – appreciate every second of it and don’t waste it being angry.  I don’t ever want to look back on my life and say I wasted a single moment dwelling on a feeling that didn’t make my life better.