Category Archives: moods

Comes a time

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The morning air was crisp and it shocked my lungs as I inhaled.   The sun was doing its best to warm the day but the cold still bit at my face as I walked.  The tears kept flowing and froze to my cheeks.  The all-too-familiar saline tasted bitter as I licked the frozen tears from the corner of my mouth.

I could still hear him shouting as I reached the end of the driveway and tried to drown him out by listening to the snow crunching under my feet.  The road welcomed me and the freedom of the open air embraced me.  I had made this walk many times and the path was becoming worn with my pain.

The argument played in my head like a movie trailer.  Scattered pieces of the screaming match from this morning and all of the other fights combined into a three-minute synopsis of an unhealthy relationship.  There were no physical marks but the emotional scars ran so deep I could almost feel them etched in my skin.

From my hiding spot, I could hear the engine of his car come to life.  Peace was only moments away and I involuntarily held my breath as I watched him speed down the road.  An immense sense of relief poured over me as I followed my well-carved path back to the house.

I knew in my heart what the next step was and I finally had the courage to see it through.  I was ready to put myself first, ready to see the value in my happiness.  I was ready to find a love that I could accept and one that I deserved.

The time had come to tell him it was over.

tears

(photo credit: tomorrowstheme.blogspot.com)

This post was written for the Trifecta Challenge:

TIME (noun)

1a : the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues : duration
b : a nonspatial continuum that is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from past through present to future
c : leisure <time for reading>
2: the point or period when something occurs : occasion
3a : an appointed, fixed, or customary moment or hour for something to happen, begin, or end <arrived ahead of time>
b : an opportune or suitable moment <decided it was time to retire> —often used in the phrase about time <about time for a change>

Please remember:

  • Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
  • You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
  • The word itself needs to be included in your response.
  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
  • Only one entry per writer.
  • If your post doesn’t meet our requirements, please leave your link in the comments section, not in the linkz.
  • Trifecta is open to everyone. Please join us.

Braker, braker

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Dear Driver in front of me on my way to work,

Why, oh why, must you incessantly tap your brakes for no apparent reason.  I understand you became alarmed when you noticed you were going 52 km/h in a 50 zone, but did you know that by relieving the pressure your foot is putting on the gas pedal that your car will slow its pace without having to brake?  Since you are on a relatively level road, the decrease in acceleration will happen naturally and not cause a chain reaction of undue panic in the cars behind you.

brake lights

(image courtesy of diymyhonda.com)

Instead, in a town littered with reckless wild animals that like to create their own crossing spots, you choose to feather your brakes causing drivers behind you to look for invisible dangers encroaching the sides of the road.  Your reckless braking in the wee hours of the still darkened morning is causing those needing more caffeine (such as myself) to shout obscenities that should not even be thought of that early in the morning let alone uttered aloud at a decibel suited for a live concert.

Perhaps my opinion is somewhat jaded since I have been driving a stick-shift since I was 17 and am used to gearing down rather than braking, but, for the love of God please stop putting your brakes on every 10 seconds when there is nothing ahead of you but the open road and no wild beasts leaping from the woods to ambush your car.

I thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.

Sincerely,

The person that flipped you off from the CR-V behind you.

Cue the music – Daily Prompt

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The Daily Prompt got my wheels spinning (or records, as we used to call them).  The idea posed was this: “Tell us how your week went by putting together a playlist of  five songs that represent it.” 

Monday, ah Monday…..drag myself from under the comfort of my duvet to dutifully arrive at my job.

Romantic Monday gave me a much-needed pick-me-up and I moved on into Tuesday and Wednesday with a mission to write more of my book.  (Thanks Sage, for the encouragement)

As the week progressed, Mother Nature seemed to be rid of her mood swings and the temperature started to climb.  The sun shone and I could feel spring lurking around the corner.

Yesterday was a bit of a reflective day as I thought about losing my dad seven years ago.  I soaked up some sun on my deck and felt the vibrations of his presence.  Since he loved the Beach Boys, this song seemed appropriate if I listen to the lyrics differently and hear them from a father about his daughter.

And as I am sitting in my office on a Sunday, the only song that can accurately project my mood is this:

In like a Lion

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With a little nudge from the Daily Prompt yesterday, I heeded their request but deviated slightly from their “rules”.  I’m crazy that way.  Remember when you wrote down the first thought you had this morning? Great. Now write a post about it.

Instead of a notebook, I kept my iPhone close and was happy it was readily available to take these shots.  I woke early this morning to take my mom to a doctor’s appointment and as my eyes adjusted on the view beyond my window, my first thought was “are you effing kidding me?” After several days of gloriously warming spring temperatures, the looming month of March morphed into that predictable “in-like-a-lion” and the feline giant roared and spilled its vengeance across the landscape.

morning

There were a few expletives that escaped my lips but as the caffeine began to course through my veins, I calmed down.  The sun struggled to free itself from the grasp of the horizon and cast whimsical hues into the clouds and the day became a little more beautiful.

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Storm clouds have since saddled up and ridden in on that lion.  He is continuing to roar his introduction to the coming month of March and marking his territory with more snow.  After I say my ‘white rabbit’ three times tomorrow morning for the first of the month, I will be wishing for the March days that are more like the lamb.

Who else is ready for spring to arrive?

The Bones of Life

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We all need three bones to survive, a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.  It may seem like a uninspired observation, but those bones really brings us to the essence of making the most of our lives. These three bones, in their simplicity, outline what really should be important to us as individuals.

A wishbone will keep our imagination and hopes alive.  It gives us permission to dream and it keeps those visions alive and breathing within us.  The moment that we don’t bother to dream any more about what is still possible is the moment that the biggest and most youthful part of us dies.  Dreams are the rainbow of our soul and they give us that straw that we can grasp when reality overwhelms us.

Our backbone will lend us strength to persevere.  Life can’t always be about dreams and rainbows.  Developing a strong backbone will help guide us through those difficult and traumatic times and help develop a real sense of self.  Having the fortitude to put enough faith in ourselves makes our backbone that much stronger and makes us able to cope with the concrete that paves the path of our lives.

Our funny bone will give us the perspective to let the will of our wishbone and our backbone blend into a harmonious and happy medium.  There is a fine balance between reality and comedy, and it is that comedy that will bring that panorama of our world into a spectrum of colors that will be objective, yet frivolous.  Maintaining that sense of humor can only help get us through this journey with a sense of the childhood wonder and laughter that we all want so desperately to hold onto.

Take good care of those three bones.  They build the foundation of who we are and where we want to go.  And just remember, if they break, any bone can always mend with the proper care and attention.

My Dog Gets Me

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I’ve spent my whole life surrounded by pets.  We always had dogs growing up and when I was old enough to learn how to debate properly with my dad, and win, we had a couple of cats. Although cats are certainly quirky and amusing to watch, I have always been a dog person and I always will be.

A dog is the one truly unselfish friend that will love you unconditionally.  Callaway is a blend of black lab, border collie and psychologist.  She gets me, and she has such great intuition when it comes to my moods and my feelings.  We lead a pretty happy life and she is a joy-filled dog, but if I am having an off day, she senses the change in my mood and doesn’t leave my side.  If I am lying on the couch, she will leave her regular spot on my bed and be on the floor right beside me. Every now and then she will sit up and rest her chin on me just to check in and see how I’m doing.

Dogs read human energy.  They may not be able to correctly identify the specific emotion as a human would, but they feel the change in that life force and react accordingly.  She visibly becomes agitated if she senses that I am upset, she consoles me if she senses I’m feeling down, and she never ceases to be there for me.

And through all of the ups and downs that she understands and helps get me through, somewhere in the process she always manages to leave…….

 …..paw prints on my heart.

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Smile and the world smiles with you

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Nobody remembers the specifics of my entrance into the world, much like they don’t recall how I got my nickname, but they do remember that I was abundantly happy at an age when babies do nothing more than cry and sleep.  I was not the baby who would play strange and scream if a stranger picked me up, there was no colic, no fuss, just smiles.  My mother used to wake me up at 11:00 at night just so she could play with me because I was such a happy toddler.   Her friends thought she was certifiable until she invited them over to prove a point.  I became a real hit at parties!

smiling-baby-with-toys

(not actually me, but the resemblance is uncanny)

I am fortunate to have carried that disposition with me throughout my life.  I am rarely in a bad mood.  And although my mother doesn’t come over at 11:00 pm to play with me anymore, I wake up in the morning, smiling and just, happy.

I am the person in the room that will make a ridiculous statement so I can make even one person smile.  On the curling ice, I’m the comedian who invented full-contact curling. I don’t use it very often, but the thought of me turning into a Defensive Tackle on the ice amuses people and makes the game more fun.  One of my teammates told me he didn’t think I have an angry bone in my body.  (He hasn’t seen me dealing with an aggressive hotel guest hell-bent on proving they are right, when, against the premise of the rules of customer service, I vehemently disagree.)

I am lucky that I am able to find the joy in the small things in my life.  Music lifts my spirit – when I am alone, I sing like I’m on stage, I dance in my kitchen just because it’s fun and I am content to just feel light and joyous.  Even writing this post, I am smiling because I am still able to not dwell on the negative and appreciate the precious things in my life.

Smile and the world really does smile with you.

Uphill in the snow in bare feet

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Our presence on this revolving planet was never meant to be simple or straight-forward.  Without a heaping portion of challenges and quandaries thrown into the recipe of our existence, the end product of our being would be bland and predictable.

Life has a way of making us feel like we are in a batting cage with no bat. There is no helmet and no way out of that metal encasement.  The fastballs keep coming at 97 mph and we are powerless against their velocity.  As much as we try to dodge that line of fire, and even the ricochets, we end up being pummelled by a few of those spherical missiles and feel like those cage walls are closing in, trapping us in the hail of projectiles.

barefoot

Feeling overwhelmed can be akin to travelling barefoot in the snow.  Regardless of the direction we go, that path seems to stretch to eternity and every road leads up an insurmountable hill.  The harder we try to keep up the pace and the level of energy required to reach our destination, the more difficult the trek becomes.  We lose interest in the journey, we lose feeling in our extremities and each step sinks us further into the vast collection of flakes, making us feel defeated and hopeless.

This feeling of absolute frustration becomes much more evident during the holidays.  I have been noticing a myriad of posts lately about people feeling the holiday pressure – pressure to be the perfect host or hostess, to find the perfect gifts, to choose and display the perfect decorations, to create the perfect meal and to create memories of a perfect holiday.

But some of my best holidays were far from perfect.  The gravy was lumpy, the turkey was dry, the tree was on a 30 degree angle from centre and, as she does every year, my mother had left most of the price tags on our gifts.  It still happens on an annual basis and it will continue to be one of my favorite memories of our Christmas holidays.

Take each day one at a time.  When you feel like you are being swallowed by the maelstrom, stop and take a moment to breathe,  remember to take small steps and find one piece of scenery that makes you smile.  Hold that picture in your mind until you see another small piece that makes you smile.  Before you know it, you’ve made it through the mayhem, completely intact, and you’re still smiling.  That uphill battle to get through the holidays has levelled to a flat surface and those frosty feet no longer feel cumbersome and lifeless.  And maybe you will realize that the holiday isn’t meant to be perfect, it’s just there to spend time with friends and family and to simply be enjoyed.

It’s a dog eat dog world, and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear

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Although this subject line was “borrowed” from a Cheers episode from many years ago, it seemed to aptly portray my mood.  Perhaps the pathetic fallacy of the mottled grey sky and shards of freezing rain were a foreshadowing of what my mood would evolve into today.  Regardless of the cause, the outcome was a mixed bag of lethargy and despondency that I am not used to experiencing.

dog-eat-dog2

I am that annoying person that can always see the silver lining in any cloud.  My glass is always half full, and the sun will always come out tomorrow.  I don’t want you to think I have rainbows projecting from my nether regions, but I pride myself on being that positive force in the room.  Although there may be an occasional prism of colors that expounds from some orifice,  it generally refracts from the smile in my eyes.

Everyone has their down days.  It’s what helps bring balance to our world and makes us appreciate those good days that much more.  After several hours of wallowing in my funk, my mood thankfully did not mature into a self-perpetuating cycle of angst and commiseration.  I did not send out invitations to my pity party.  Instead, I gave myself a proverbial slap in the face and snapped out of my self-purported misery.

After returning home, all is right with the world.  The glass of wine is poured and the words, once again, are cascading from the recesses of my brain and spilling out through my fingertips.  The earth is back on its axis, the glass is still half full (although I’m doing my best to empty it), and the smile is back on my face.

How do you deal with the bad days?