Some walks you have to take alone

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Whether it is a walk of pride or the walk of shame, some walks you have to take alone. Embracing your successes or facing up to the repercussions of decisions you have made is an individual journey.  Only you can face the truth and the consequences that result from something you have been a part of – good or bad.

And perhaps that walk alone provides you the time and solitude you need to focus on the decisions that have been made previously or have yet to be made in your life. Nobody can choose your path or tell you which fork in the road you must follow.  That is a conscious choice that you must decide for yourself.  Forging ahead into that journey, on your own, gives you the focus you need to gather the insight into which path you will follow. Along the way, you select the people with whom you want to participate in that pilgrimage.

Some that you have chosen to accompany you on your journey may agree with your direction and some may deviate from the road that lies before you.  Perhaps they were only meant to keep you company for a short distance.  Others will follow you into the abyss, knowing that the course you have plotted is one akin to a path that they have chosen as well.

Regardless of how many people are willing to follow that road with you, there will always be some walks you have to take unassisted.  Some roads are meant to be navigated by you and you alone. There will always be friends at the end of that road – to wipe your brow and perhaps give you a pat on the back for reaching the end of your quest unscathed, but the passage itself is a solitary journey.

Forge ahead on that secluded route.  Walk strong with your head held high.  Delve deep into the reasons that you have come to this particular fork in the road, and walk alone.  But walk alone knowing that at the end of your journey, you have rewarded yourself with the reclusive time needed to dig deep into what you need for yourself to achieve your ultimate goal.  Your journey never ends.  It only begins with the next step.

The sounds of solace

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Even through the most troubling of times, there is something inherently soothing about music. The dulcet tones relieve the pressure that reality compounds and the rhythm can make the most difficult situations bearable.

I love most types of music but the sounds I find most comforting during difficult times are the harmonic blends of The Tenors. The uplifting tones of their four part harmony bathe me in a warm glow and bring me out of the dark tunnel. The joy they find in singing allows me a moment to pause and rejoin the beauty in the world.

The timbre in their notes carries me to a place of serenity and I am embraced by a feeling of peace. It amazes me how quickly the stress is assuaged and washed over by a wave of calm by simply allowing the pacifying effect of the notes soothe my soul.

As my mom watches the tiny television from her hospital bed, four Canadian Tenors are alleviating my current reality momentarily by singing their lullabies to me. Let the music of life play on.

Stressing the “un’s”

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Life is a mixed bag. Stress is inevitable, but more than likely comes from things that begin with “un”. Things that are unpredictable, uncontrollable, unfamiliar or unseen cause us undue pressure.

We become very uncomfortable and somewhat unsettled forging ahead into the unknown feeling unprepared. We may lack the understanding needed to avoid feeling unsure.

Life can be unfair. Illness can be unforgiving and waiting can be unbearable. The “un’s” hover relentlessly and we are unable to regain a sense of control.

I am struggling to beat those “un’s” into submission, but they are unrelenting and refuse to allow the knots of their hold to be undone.

I, however, am unwilling to admit defeat. That is unacceptable.

Concrete walls and a machine that goes “ping”

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There are no four walls that contain more joy and more misery than a hospital. A place of healing can quickly become a place of sadness with the reading of a few numbers or a somber look on a Clinician’s face.

The four walls that currently contain my mother are filled with uncertainty and questions. She is being kept comfortable and pain-free and the staff have been attentive and kind. But there is still a shroud of nagging doubt – a cloud that hovers over my mother’s hospital bed threatening to flood the room with reality.

The machines beep, the fluids continue intravenously and the revolving door of doctors, nurses and visitors continues to spin. Kind words are spoken, prayers are uttered and friends become more like family.

Thank you all for the words of support and the hugs sent across the blogosphere. It truly means a lot. And even though the embrace is not tangible, I can still feel it.

Find your wings

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I had a completely different post planned for today, but after talking to a friend that I haven’t seen in a while, my whole mindset changed.

wings(image credit: photo-dictionary.com)

I believe we all begin our journey of life with a full set of wings. I’m not talking about Angel wings, but invisible pinions that give us a chance to rise above ourselves and discover new horizons. Somewhere along our path, our wings may be clipped.  They may mutate from their original form and, although we still embody the same freedom of originality, our chance to soar becomes stifled and we miss some of that ability for latitude.

Life can be a daunting journey, fraught with challenges and roadblocks, but those feathered appendages help us maneuver beyond those obstacles with little effort.  They give us room for movement that may not otherwise be possible allowing us a chance for an alternate illusion.

Our mere existence on this planet can be described as a roller coaster, a flurry of adventure and blurry images that stream through our line of sight at Mach 4.  Somewhere in the blistering speed of that coach car we miss the visions we should be focusing on and get lost in the overwhelming barrage of outside interference.  We are inundated with life.  We become a victim of its vicious nature and forget to allow ourselves the power to fly because we become saturated with apprehension and doubt.

If you allow it, life will over-stimulate your senses and it will swallow you whole.  It will envelop you and wrap your waking moments, keeping you mummified until you surrender your power at the end of a tumultuous and exhausting day.

Find your wings.  Give yourself permission to feel that freedom again and take your life back.  If the path you are on does not feel like the path you chose – fly.  Rise high above it and give yourself a new perspective of your life.  You may find that you still had those wings all along but you just forgot how to use them.

Hard pressed to share – Trifecta post

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Divorce existed in their near future.  Her words still hung heavily in the air and pummeled his eardrums with the weight of their meaning.  It had finally been uttered aloud and it was no longer an idle threat that they were reaching the demise of their relationship.  The reality suffocated him.  His gambling had driven a wedge between them and he refused to get help for a problem he didn’t think defined him.

As he entered the casino, the familiar sound of bells and machines soothed him.  He was home.  He had never felt more at ease than he did in this concrete tomb of cacophony.  Each of the dealers knew him by name but he only took that to be a sign of professionalism and not a reflection of addiction.  The Craps table beckoned and he succumbed to its welcoming embrace.

The dice were magical.  His fours ‘hard-ways’ hit over and over and the stack of chips increased exponentially in front of him.  New rollers took their place and his stack continued to grow.  Luck was certainly being a lady tonight.  After what must have been hours he asked dealer to color him up, he collected his chips and cashed them in.

casino cash

He was given the high-roller suite and stood on the balcony with the wad of bills.  He didn’t want the cashier to tell him how much he had won when he cashed out.  The wind tousled his hair and in one swift movement he cast the money over the edge of the balcony.  The rain of bills spread swiftly through the air and littered the ground below.  The crowd preparing to enter the casino pecked at the bills like chickens at their feed.

She may have taken half of his life, but she wasn’t getting half of his winnings.

~

Written for the Trifecta challenge (and the photo was taken on my one and only cruise – I didn’t win the money, but my friend did!)

On to this week’s one-word prompt which, this week, is inspired by the recent arrival of the Hong Kong monsoons and the start of April in general.rain (transitive verb)
1: to pour down
2: to give or administer abundantly <rained blows on his head>

Please remember:

  • Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
  • You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
  • The word itself needs to be included in your response.
  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
  • Only one entry per writer.
  • If your post doesn’t meet our requirements, please leave your link in the comments section, not in the linkz.
  • Trifecta is open to everyone. Please join us.

Good luck!

I’m not sure if I’d call it a possession…Daily Prompt

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The Daily Prompt lured me in again with its devious, thought-provoking challenge – Prized Possession:  Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a child. What became of it?

For all intents and purposes, it wasn’t actually mine.  It was tangible and readily accessible when I summoned up the courage to play games with it, but I had no ownership of it.  I couldn’t play with it on a whim because I had little to no control over the time I would get to spend with it.  Whatever time I did get to spend with it made me love it even more.

It had many different features and helped me develop a true sense of competition.  It had a hard-outer shell, but once you worked it in a little bit, it became much softer and more pliable. At certain points in my life, I actually tried to emulate this item.

I have never lost my attachment to it.  If anything that attachment has only grown stronger over the years.  I never had to think back and wonder what became of it because it is still near and dear to my heart.  It resides five minutes from my house in a house all its own.  I still play games with it, like the old days, but the games are different now.

This prized possession, the item I am still so attached to is the father of my two nephews, my brother and one of my best friends.

The well has run dry

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dry well

(image credit: gamertherapist.com)

I have been writing this blog since August 1st and in that time I have had, it seems, quite a bit to say.  But lately I find myself running out of steam when it comes to the verbosity I have enjoyed and I am struggling for ideas to write about.  The well of idioms has run dry.

I have really cherished the hours spent putting my thoughts into written form and receiving feedback from all of you that are faithful readers, those who have become friends and those that happen by every now and then.  It is with a bit of a heavy heart that I have decided to no longer continue this journey.  With the busy season fast approaching at work, I don’t want to put mediocre words to a page just to fill a space.

If the urge strikes me to write, I may put something on Facebook every now and then, but the challenge of coming up with ideas is becoming a little too much.  Thank you all for following me through this journey and I want to leave you with one last thought from the creative vault:

April Fool’s.

See you tomorrow!!

Hoarding gives me the Heebie-jeebies

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The Daily Prompt asks this question today:

Does a messy home (or office) make you anxious and cranky, or is cleaning something you just do before company comes over?

coffee_table

(image credit: accentondesign.net)

The items on my coffee table do not have to be positioned at precise angles at varying degrees, but things do have a certain place in my house.  I am not fanatical about cleaning, but I am stringent about being organized.  I don’t get many surprise visitors because I live in a very rural area, but if people drove off the beaten path and arrived at my home, I would not be frantically searching for the Swiffer or tossing newspapers or wrappers under the couch cushions.

The same goes for my desk at work.  Sure there are piles of paper and file folders, but they are organized piles that I strategically am able to work through because everything has its place.

Having said that, the entrance way into my house could potentially negate anything I’ve mentioned about seeming organized, but that will be rectified soon.  My entrance way is the only spot for me to store my patio cushions and other outdoor items that are longing to be freed from their winter incarceration.  It’s nothing close to being a Hoarder’s episode, but it does make me a bit anxious when I see everything piled in one spot.  Hazmat suits are not required, but until I win the lottery I will have to deal with the negative aspects of living in a house that is only 650 square feet.  At least the rest of it is organized!

Here is what some others had to say:

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I’d do whatever it takes – Trifextra Post

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The treatments were grueling. Her body was showing the signs.  My support was unending, but I don’t think she realized that.  I shaved my head the next morning.  Actions speak louder than words.

~

Trifextra: Week Sixty-One

This weekend we’re asking for exactly 33 words including an idiom somewhere within.  Examples of idioms include – add fuel to the fire or wear your heart on your sleeve.  You can find more examples and a definition of idiom here.  Good luck!