When the stars align

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I am a big believer in fate and fortuitous moments.  The thought of serendipity, fortunate accidents, being a guiding force in my life gives cause for excitement to see what the day will bring.  Last week the stars lined up in perfect symmetry to make one of those moments happen, although the initial picture seemed grim.

stars align

(image credit: ehow.com)

All of the strategic planning I had done the week prior was time that could have been better spent.  The fickle Gods of Fate, the ones who should have been expelled from Celestial School, stuck their finger into my life and muddied the waters of my mirage in mere seconds. The murky vision left behind no longer resembled any of the best laid plans I had made.

As with all things, I adapted and forged ahead.  The moment that had been so anticipated was now just a vague memory of an eager smile.  The dirt began to settle at the bottom of my pond, but the reflection had been altered.

The serendipitous moment came out of nowhere.  The pieces of the puzzle I had begun creating the week before began to magically fall into their originally intended spaces and my smile was even wider.  This felt like a sign that those stars were meant to align to make that day happen.

These are the rare moments that I can truly treasure.  Those unanticipated moments that something steps in to change the course of our trajectory and helps us to follow the path that we wished to follow in the first place, but were thrown off course.  Thank you, serendipity.  Come and find me anytime.

Don’t hate the haters

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There will always be people out there with nothing but negative energy.  They hate their job, they hate where they live and they take that bitterness into every moment of their day.  They hate us for being positive.  So why should we reciprocate and send that hate back to them for being haters?

We can’t hate the haters.  Being around negative people makes me want to be even more positive than I already am.  It’s better to be hated for who you are instead of being loved for who you are not.  Nothing annoys a hater more than your forgiveness. They seek conflict and if they don’t get it, they will just hate you more.

hater

There is a fine balance in the world and we struggle to maintain that level with every ounce of positive energy we have.  Being around people who constantly have that dark cloud hovering over them motivates me to make a conscious effort to keep my mood light and happy.

I’m not going to lie and tell you I haven’t had moments of immense dislike within me, but I choose to rise above that venom that can penetrate the soul and find the lesson in the situation that caused that hatred in the first place.  My mother always said “it takes all kinds to make the world go round” and I now know what she meant.  If it weren’t for the haters, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate being the lovers.

We need to learn to rise above that feeling of hate and figure out what that anger is teaching us.  The haters will never have that perspective but we can motivate ourselves to see beyond the malevolence that bubbles within us and move beyond the hate.

Appreciate the haters for teaching us how much better it is to love and be happy.  Life is short – appreciate every second of it and don’t waste it being angry.  I don’t ever want to look back on my life and say I wasted a single moment dwelling on a feeling that didn’t make my life better.

Burning the candle at both ends

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It begins innocently. We take on more and more with each passing day and begin burning that candle at both ends, always with the thought in mind that never the twain shall meet. But they do meet, and someone always gets burned.

burn the candle

In today’s economy and struggling markets people take on more burdens to cement themselves to their jobs. Fiscal responsibility tends to equate to physical and emotional exhaustion but we do what we have to do to secure our stability. It has become a dog-eat-dog existence.

Although we may see that candle as everlasting and continuous, we lose a little piece of our sanity with each drip of wax that is dispelled. A layer of our resolve, like the dripping wax, is melted away from us and collectively pooled into a well of fatigue. The moments of freedom we so carelessly took for granted are a thing of the past and the work day increases in its longevity.  As the winds of our reality fan the flames, the candle burns faster at both ends leaving us with more of a sense of panic and less candle to burn. The days seem longer, the nights seem shorter and we strive to hold fastidiously to our workaday reality.

It is our individual responsibility to snuff that secondary flame – to only allow ourselves one wick with which to burn our energy. If we allow others to dictate how much of the candle we burn at one time we may as well cast ourselves into the inferno and spontaneously combust.

The purpose of a candle is to burn for long periods of time, from one end only, and cast a glow of light that is warm and comforting. Burning that candle from both ends decreases the amount of enjoyment that candle is meant to purvey and exponentially diminishes the enjoyment that is elicited from that one single flame.

Strike your match carefully.  Predestine how much of that candle you are willing to ignite and at which pace you choose it to soften and dissipate.  If you light it sparingly, it will last much longer and the enjoyment of that flame will last that much longer.

I’m not here to impress you

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I am me.  I have simple likes and dislikes (except for the occasional expensive bottle of wine). I live an honest life and I embrace the sense of humor, common sense, moderate intelligence and gift for the vernacular that was bestowed upon me.  I do not, nor will I ever use any of my personality traits to impress you.  But at the end of my journey through this life I hope that, with those traits, I will leave an impression upon you.

So often people spend so much of their time trying to impress the multitudes by being something they are not, nor will they ever be.  The downside to pretending that you are something so far removed from your reality is that eventually people see through the facade and directly into the real you.  Having the self-confidence to believe that you are truly unique is half the battle.  Having the fortitude to stand behind what you represent is the remaining half.

It takes little to no effort to be the person that you truly are and it takes a moderate resolution to negate any ill will towards people who do not embrace the qualities you possess. It takes even broader shoulders to not care.  If you have ever been told that you are one in a million, that is a gross understatement. There is no singular being on this grand planet that can ever take your place.

By living to impress others you do yourself an egregious injustice.  Trying to live up to the standards of others simply means you are ignoring your standards and your life is no longer about you.

Leave the impression on this world that you want to leave – not the impression you think others want you to leave.  Don’t lose yourself striving for their definition of perfection.  As you continue to embark on your personal journey you may find that your idea of perfection is much better.  The sense of accomplishment you achieve doing it your way will be that much more rewarding.

It’s not about how you see yourself dying, it’s about how you see yourself living

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Most days I find Facebook too full of judgement, too saturated with over-sharing and too congested with an exaggerated amount of requests to play something called Farmville.   But on rare occasions, things are shared that make me glad I have not deleted my account.  The video below made me think a lot about how I am living my life and it made me cry.  The tears that stained my cheeks were a mixture of sadness for the loss of such a beautiful life and tears of joy for being able to have a brief glimpse into the soul of such a beautiful child.

Please take the 20 minutes to watch the story of Zach Sobiech.  It will make the subject line of this post stand out in the forefront of your mind and make me you rethink how you live your life each day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjKgV65fpo

Cell phone etiquette

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The world of technology has taken over our lives.  We rely so much on computers and cell phones to communicate that it is affecting the way we relate to others.  And although our reliance on social media can do a lot to boost our self-esteem, it does affect the way we interact with each other on a more personal level.

Everywhere you turn now people are visibly attached to their cell phones and their tablets.  Although they allow us to maintain better contact with our families and help us find long-lost friends and acquaintances they seem to be setting us back in terms of our social skills.  Many times during conversations people will hear the magical sound of their cell phone alerting them to a call or text and, without thinking, reach for that phone and forget that they are physically interfacing with another human being.  With the touch of a button we make contact with others distant from us and forget the art of conversation that can be utilized with the people right in front of us.

cell phone

I was recently made aware of a new fad – groups of people who are going out for dinner agree to put their cell phones in the middle of the table.  (the smart ones turn them off)  The first person to reach for the phone during the meal has to pick up the tab.  What a great trend to follow or to start in your own community of friends.

Imagine the amount of time you could actually spend with your friends and loved ones being engaged and truly invested in that relationship instead of worrying about the text messages you may be missing.  The text messages will always be there for you to read but your friends may not wait around for you to give them the attention they deserve face to face.

Getting back my sense of self

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For the first time in a long time I walked through my house tonight and found I was smiling.  I wasn’t reliving a memory or anticipating an upcoming event, I was just….happy.

I hadn’t realized how much of my happiness had been consumed by reality until the corners of my lips were turned upright for no particular reason.  After all the tension I have experienced over the last couple of months, I was sure those muscles had atrophied and would require intense physiotherapy to get the full range of motion to return.  The degeneration of joy was paralyzing.

But I am once again finding beauty in my surroundings because stress no longer abrades my senses.  The scent of lilacs permeates my nose as soon as I step outside and the sounds of the creatures of the night soothe me with their harmonic tones.  And after many nights of being unaware of the true depth of my melancholy, I am now able to appreciate their symphony and realize that my true bliss has returned.

My words flow more freely now because they are no longer trapped in a smoldering vat of fermenting unrest.  My brain is at ease and my creativity flows in small streams until it culminates at the mouth of the river.  Those ideas trickle along the banks of my mind.  Each drop of inspiration is collected, it pools and eddies at the precipice until the words spill uncontrollably over the crest of rock and create a waterfall of language and expression.  That waterfall is my release.  That rapid flow of ideas is my heaven.

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(image credit: commons.wikimedia.org)

I have slowly re-acquainted myself with the things that I hold dear.  I have learned to let go of the stress and spend time each day making new memories and not just relying on recollections of my past to satiate my need for happy thoughts.  I have regained my inner compass.  I have reclaimed my sense of self.

A brave new world

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Today I began a new journey.   Today was my first day at a new job…..one that I ventured into after spending the better part of two decades at a place that was overwhelmingly familiar.  The best part of today was walking into a place that, although not as familiar, I felt like I belonged.  The buildings, the walls, the faces and the surroundings are new but still give me a sense of  home.

The joy of working in hospitality is knowing that a strong personality and having the ability to fly by the seat of your pants are not only requirements, but assets that can assuage any sense of discomfort that may arise from being in a foreign place.  And today, I flew.   I jumped in with both feet and hit the ground running.

Perhaps the comfort level comes from being in a situation that is remarkably similar to my comfort zone, but on a much smaller scale.  Or perhaps that peacefulness comes from being able to be myself and not sweat the small stuff.  I adapt.  It’s what I’m good at and a skill that allows me to blend in without seeming like I have no knowledge of my surroundings.

shammy

(image credit: http://www.shamrocklodge.com)

Tomorrow I can go back knowing a little more than I knew today – and knowledge is power.  Tomorrow I take what I learned today and parlay it into a greater feeling of awareness and comprehension.  Tomorrow the rest of me flies with the seat of my pants, and not just by the seat of my pants.  Tomorrow I look back at yesterday and realize its success.  Tomorrow, I look forward to many more tomorrows.

The fading image in my rear-view mirror

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Like the perfect piece of baker’s chocolate, today will be bittersweet.  I am comfortably ensconced in a chair in my office, shrouded by four very familiar walls that are situated on a property that I could maneuver my way around with my eyes closed.  But today is my last day in this place.

A big part of my life has been spent exploring every facet of the 408 acres that make up this resort property.  From my humble beginnings in 1986 I have cleaned every single one of the 158 rooms on numerous occasions, I have served hundreds of people in its dining room, I have greeted hundreds more at the front desk and I have encouraged thousands to vacation here.  My car could drive itself from home to office after the numerous trips we have made together down this winding Muskoka road.

This home away from home has been the site of many experiences for me, some fantastic and some tragic.  This job was not just a job.  This place gave me the tools to grow, not only as an employee and a boss, but as a person.  This place introduced me to many people I consider an extended part of my family.  From staff to hotel guests, the connections I have made here will last a lifetime.

cleves water front

(image credit: http://www.clevelandshouse.com)

But the time has come to change the landscape I see on my drive to work.  Although the splendor of the Muskoka beauty will still be seen through each of my car windows, the shadows that dance on the road before me will be different.  The path that my tires follow will be not be naturally carved in the pavement leading me to the walls that contain so many memories.   This new path will take time to feel as comfortable but I’m sure it will lead me to just as much happiness.

As the image of a lifetime fades in my rear-view mirror, the path ahead is waiting to welcome me with open arms and begin the journey of making new memories.

Over forty and feeling…..broken

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Forty may be the new twenty, but I don’t think my body got that memo.   I used to be able to handle stress much better, not that I had the stress I have in my forties, but the carriage that houses my soul never used to show signs of that stress.  I would bounce back and be prepared for the next onslaught of tension, armed and ready to kill that dragon.

These days, I am not as fortunate.  The knots of stress seem to locate the weakest parts of my body and finds the forty-something-year-old muscles far more inviting.  Like an unwanted house guest, it settles in, makes itself comfortable and it chooses to stay for a while.

About a month and a half ago I injured my knee while shoveling snow.  Who knew an activity so benign could leave such a lasting injury?  The pain subsided and temporarily vanished, but every so often it flares up again and I am currently moving slower than some of my mom’s new acquaintances in the retirement home.

I have yet to go to the doctor, but that trip is looming.  The male part of my brain had me convinced that the temple that is my body would heal itself, but that seems far-fetched as I hobble around my house this morning, wishing I had a cane.  In my self-diagnosis, compliments of Google, I realized that I have most likely torn the meniscus in my right knee.   It could be a minor tear but could also lead to surgery if not properly diagnosed and healed.

cane

(image credit: oralchelation.com)

Today, for me, forty feels more like the new sixty but I am determined not to let this affliction get the best of me.  I will beat stress and injury into submission with determination, tenacity and a borrowed cane!