Over forty and feeling…..broken


Forty may be the new twenty, but I don’t think my body got that memo.   I used to be able to handle stress much better, not that I had the stress I have in my forties, but the carriage that houses my soul never used to show signs of that stress.  I would bounce back and be prepared for the next onslaught of tension, armed and ready to kill that dragon.

These days, I am not as fortunate.  The knots of stress seem to locate the weakest parts of my body and finds the forty-something-year-old muscles far more inviting.  Like an unwanted house guest, it settles in, makes itself comfortable and it chooses to stay for a while.

About a month and a half ago I injured my knee while shoveling snow.  Who knew an activity so benign could leave such a lasting injury?  The pain subsided and temporarily vanished, but every so often it flares up again and I am currently moving slower than some of my mom’s new acquaintances in the retirement home.

I have yet to go to the doctor, but that trip is looming.  The male part of my brain had me convinced that the temple that is my body would heal itself, but that seems far-fetched as I hobble around my house this morning, wishing I had a cane.  In my self-diagnosis, compliments of Google, I realized that I have most likely torn the meniscus in my right knee.   It could be a minor tear but could also lead to surgery if not properly diagnosed and healed.


(image credit: oralchelation.com)

Today, for me, forty feels more like the new sixty but I am determined not to let this affliction get the best of me.  I will beat stress and injury into submission with determination, tenacity and a borrowed cane!

34 thoughts on “Over forty and feeling…..broken

  1. perhaps I am feeling a bit fragile today, but I just turned 60 and I am hoping a cane is far in my future
    also– shoveling snow is not at all benigh–my neighbour had a heart attack while doing his driveway–so take care of yourself young lady!

  2. What I have learned about stress is that it can be sitting right on your head and, somehow, you’re still not consciously aware of it. It’s not always self-evident. I’ve learned to think in terms of stress factors. Things like moving, changing jobs, having a job, looking for a job, thinking about your job, etc. It’s especially fun when you can arrange all of the stressors to happen at exactly the same time. In your case you have awareness you’re stressed and you know the source. So you’ve already taken the first steps in dealing with it. Don’t stop at your knee. Read up on stress reduction tips, too. Just like your knee it won’t automatically get better on its own.

    • The job change happened during my mom going into hospital….so I certainly know the root cause. I need to learn to relax and do some deep breathing (that doesn’t include mouth to mouth on a glass of wine!!)

    • And being in the hotel industry for so long….I would believe that to be true!! Too many shifts in high heels carrying furniture back and forth. It was bound to happen.

      Hope you and TMWGITU are doing well.

  3. It’s tough to live in a body that invariably ages while you are sure you don’t. The doctor should be able to diagnose the problem with the knee, but I’m doubtful about the internal struggle with being 40. If it’s any comfort, I’d pick 40 to go back to any day. The 40s and 50s were the best decades for me – ever. I hope yours gets better soon!

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