I have noticed a few things about myself as I
gracefully grow older, particularly over the last few years. Grey hair and wrinkles notwithstanding, my perspective has evolved from the relatively carefree attitude I once enjoyed. Gone are the days I flippantly put that first toe into the soothing waters of a hot tub and let my body follow. Public pools are a distant memory and the frequency of my hand washing has increased exponentially. Hell, these days I even avoid soaking in a bathtub. I refuse to call myself a germaphobe but, if the label fits, I have three letters for myself – O C D.
I don’t know when this nuance in my psyche first began to form but it has taken root and branched out at an uncomfortable rate. I haven’t reached the breaking point of color coding my closet or having my remote controls in a line at a 45 degree angle, yet, but I do notice the trending pattern and it has become somewhat disconcerting.
Perhaps this is a natural evolution from childhood to adulthood. Maybe this is simply my acceptance of dealing with reality from an educated viewpoint. Or just maybe, this is my mid-life crisis. Conceivably I am taking things far too seriously but I cannot seem to access the earlier frame of mind that allowed me to live with reckless abandon. I am stymied by my overwhelming urge to retreat from public spaces and the sharing of any bodily excretions that are emitted into public water.
(image credit: someecards.com)
I can only hope that the misgivings of my mid-life irrationality will subside. I hope to be able to, once again, access that childhood abandon that allowed my to enjoy my life without second-guessing it, or at least bring me reasonably close to that feeling again. If not, I fear I may be sending my future blog posts via Skype from the bubble I have inhabited while banging on the keyboard through my rubber gloves!
Have you noticed any noteworthy changes as you’ve gotten older?
You have experience now, there is no going back. I vacillate between mourning who I once was and being happy I am no longer her, since I am no longer the person I was in my youth I have decided to just embrace who I am now, even if that person finds her sanity next to her mid-life crisis. Somehow, there must be a way to capitalize on what has happened and move forward . . . Your cartoon made me LOL.
Haha….it made me do the same! I am certainly happier with who I am now. I just wish there were fewer idiosyncrasies to go along with it!
I couldn’t agree with you more. I feel so much, lately. The older I get, the more I “feel”, and the more I realize the need for maintenance. LOL!
Haha….it’s such an odd period in my life.
I still act like I’m in my twenties, creaking knees and back not withstanding.
Except now I have better toys.
I’ll have what Guapo is having, please!
Now THAT is a good way to look at it!! 🙂
I read you all of the time, but am often quieter in the comment section. This post spoke to me and for a moment, thought perhaps you’d caught a glimpse of me having an out of the ordinary melancholy weekend. I don’t remember being so deep and introspective in my 20s. The 30s were spent knee-deep in diapers/careers and now the 40s (END of the 40s) is spent watching the nest empty leaving me to look at the sweet man I built it with. Poor guy…most days he doesn’t know which woman he’s gonna get. Thankfully, we’ve gotten each other this far…I’m sure he’ll hang with me for a bit longer as I decide if I need a blanket or an air conditioner.
Thanks for a great and timely post PP 🙂
Thanks so much for your comment. It’s always comforting when you find others going through the same thing. Hang in there! 🙂
Wait. All that’s happening to me too! I need to relax! Thanks for the nudge : )
Is part of a mid-life crisis the overwhelming urge to drop everything and just run away? If so, then I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.
I think that sounds about right!
Youthful reckless abandon is overrated. It is usually the product of a person who is searching for meaning without direction. I think this stage of life is, by design, meant to be outgrown.
When someone in a midlife crisis tries to replicate his carefree, youthful days, he — at best — looks like an ass and — at worst — screws up his life.
When I got my midlife crisis pangs, I poured them into my writing. The writing wasn’t all that good, but I nonetheless providing an outlet for my feelings. It worked. And it kept me grounded.
Ahem. I mean “provided.”
I’m certainly spending more time at the keyboard. Perhaps I will follow in your footsteps. It really is odd being able to see all the signs but not being able to control any of the actions. I’m sure I’ll grow out of it soon enough.
I totally understand. I haven’t swum in a public pool for years (too many yucky germs in there). I’m nowhere near as brave and careless as I was in my younger years and now wonder how the hell I’m alive after recklessly spending my youth jumping and running along rocks on the headlands of beaches. Now I can’t even bear to look down at a beach from high up, letalone traipse all over the rocks like a mountain goat 😀
I’m still trying to pinpoint when it all started turning for me. 😉
I’m on year 8 of my mid life crisis….it’s going well.
I’m taking more of my mental health more as I age. I want to be around for my kids and my wife and 8/9 years ago, that wasn’t going to happen. Also, while I have many bad habits, I’m self-aware of them and keep them form hurting my life. I appreciate small things a lot more. I credit the 4 women I live with for that.
It’s so strange being able to look back and see how much of my life has changed. I never saw it happening….it snuck up on me. I hope you hug those four women a lot. I’m sure you’ve done the same for them.