These are the words I needed today……
I have noticed a few things about myself as I
gracefully grow older, particularly over the last few years. Grey hair and wrinkles notwithstanding, my perspective has evolved from the relatively carefree attitude I once enjoyed. Gone are the days I flippantly put that first toe into the soothing waters of a hot tub and let my body follow. Public pools are a distant memory and the frequency of my hand washing has increased exponentially. Hell, these days I even avoid soaking in a bathtub. I refuse to call myself a germaphobe but, if the label fits, I have three letters for myself – O C D.
I don’t know when this nuance in my psyche first began to form but it has taken root and branched out at an uncomfortable rate. I haven’t reached the breaking point of color coding my closet or having my remote controls in a line at a 45 degree angle, yet, but I do notice the trending pattern and it has become somewhat disconcerting.
Perhaps this is a natural evolution from childhood to adulthood. Maybe this is simply my acceptance of dealing with reality from an educated viewpoint. Or just maybe, this is my mid-life crisis. Conceivably I am taking things far too seriously but I cannot seem to access the earlier frame of mind that allowed me to live with reckless abandon. I am stymied by my overwhelming urge to retreat from public spaces and the sharing of any bodily excretions that are emitted into public water.
(image credit: someecards.com)
I can only hope that the misgivings of my mid-life irrationality will subside. I hope to be able to, once again, access that childhood abandon that allowed my to enjoy my life without second-guessing it, or at least bring me reasonably close to that feeling again. If not, I fear I may be sending my future blog posts via Skype from the bubble I have inhabited while banging on the keyboard through my rubber gloves!
Have you noticed any noteworthy changes as you’ve gotten older?