I’m not here to impress you

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Posted on May 25, 2013

I am me. I have simple likes and dislikes (except for the occasional expensive bottle of wine). I live an honest life and I embrace the sense of humor, common sense, moderate intelligence and gift for the vernacular that was bestowed upon me. I do not, nor will I ever use any of my personality traits to impress you. But at the end of my journey through this life I hope that, with those traits, I will leave an impression upon you.

So often people spend so much of their time trying to impress the multitudes by being something they are not, nor will they ever be. The downside to pretending that you are something so far removed from your reality is that eventually people see through the facade and directly into the real you. Having the self-confidence to believe that you are truly unique is half the battle. Having the fortitude to stand behind what you represent is the remaining half.

It takes little to no effort to be the person that you truly are and it takes a moderate resolution to negate any ill will towards people who do not embrace the qualities you possess. It takes even broader shoulders to not care. If you have ever been told that you are one in a million, that is a gross understatement. There is no singular being on this grand planet that can ever take your place.

By living to impress others you do yourself an egregious injustice. Trying to live up to the standards of others simply means you are ignoring your standards and your life is no longer about you.

Leave the impression on this world that you want to leave – not the impression you think others want you to leave. Don’t lose yourself striving for their definition of perfection. As you continue to embark on your personal journey you may find that your idea of perfection is much better. The sense of accomplishment you achieve doing it your way will be that much more rewarding.

Getting back my sense of self

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Posted on May 22, 2013

For the first time in a long time I walked through my house tonight and found I was smiling. I wasn’t reliving a memory or anticipating an upcoming event, I was just….happy.

I hadn’t realized how much of my happiness had been consumed by reality until the corners of my lips were turned upright for no particular reason. After all the tension I have experienced over the last couple of months, I was sure those muscles had atrophied and would require intense physiotherapy to get the full range of motion to return. The degeneration of joy was paralyzing.

But I am once again finding beauty in my surroundings because stress no longer abrades my senses. The scent of lilacs permeates my nose as soon as I step outside and the sounds of the creatures of the night soothe me with their harmonic tones. And after many nights of being unaware of the true depth of my melancholy, I am now able to appreciate their symphony and realize that my true bliss has returned.

My words flow more freely now because they are no longer trapped in a smoldering vat of fermenting unrest. My brain is at ease and my creativity flows in small streams until it culminates at the mouth of the river. Those ideas trickle along the banks of my mind. Each drop of inspiration is collected, it pools and eddies at the precipice until the words spill uncontrollably over the crest of rock and create a waterfall of language and expression. That waterfall is my release. That rapid flow of ideas is my heaven.

(image credit: commons.wikimedia.org)

I have slowly re-acquainted myself with the things that I hold dear. I have learned to let go of the stress and spend time each day making new memories and not just relying on recollections of my past to satiate my need for happy thoughts. I have regained my inner compass. I have reclaimed my sense of self.

Impossible is two letters too long

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Posted on April 30, 2013

I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge. I have lived under the premise that if it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for, and that has served me well. Like removing the word “can’t” from my vocabulary, I also try never to utter the word “impossible”.

When my dad was still with us, not a day went by that he didn’t mention the phrase – where there’s a will, there’s a way – and I adopted that idiom rather quickly. I learned my survival skills and my desire to succeed by heeding the wisdom of that small string of words. By keeping that will fed and nourished, the two letters that may have impeded the possible slowly fall into the alphabet once again and all things are attainable.

(image credit: 123freevectors.com)

When I begin any new task, the thought never crosses my mind that I will fail at that particular undertaking. The final product may not be the desired result, but a reasonable facsimile is still an encouraging beginning. I dive headfirst into the endeavor and face the dragon head on because the reward comes from trying. Failure can only come from not attempting the initial project.

All things are possible and the only time I will use the letters “I” and “M” are to say I’m going to try my best!

Regrets, I’ve had a few

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Posted on April 25, 2013

There are always regrets in life – missed opportunities that weigh heavily on us the more we think about them. I’ve had my share of regrets, whether those regrets have been caused by my actions or perpetrated by my inaction. There is always a tremendous sense of “what if” at the core of our regrets and that is a force field that is better left unexplored.

I was recently presented with an opportunity that I did not want to regret not pursuing. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption and that exploration resulted in me giving notice at my current job and looking forward to venturing off on a new path. I have never been unhappy at my current job but the winds of change ruffled my hair and made me think about what life would be like in a new place. That thought was a bit intoxicating.

After weighing the regret of leaving my current job and the many co-workers I have come to think of as family against the opportunity for growth and forward movement with a new team of people, I took a deep breath and chose to follow those winds of change. That gust of wind caught my sails and propelled me in a direction that I could never have foreseen.

It is a daunting feeling closing the chapter on a life that is so familiar and ingrained in my day-to-day life. The people who I have come to lean and rely on will no longer be in my daily routine but I can only trust that I made the right decision for myself and know that I am following a trajectory I was meant to follow.

Life is too short to have too many regrets and this is one I did not want to have. I’m happy to be embarking on a new journey and encountering a new set of challenges and learning experiences. From the excitement I feel, I know I will not regret making the change and opening my life to a new realm of possibilities.

Have you ever missed an opportunity that you regret?

To my WordPress family – I embrace you all

20 Comments

Posted on April 23, 2013

I received a lovely message tonight from Chasing Rabbit Holes that truly made me smile. I feel grateful every day to have made such good friends on the WordPress site – friends who are supportive, encouraging and immensely talented. Here is the award that I was given. Below is a description of the award and at the bottom of this post is a list of bloggers that I call family.

This award was initiated by Shaun (Praying for one day), who created this special award:

“This is an award for everyone who is part of the “Word Press Family” I start this award on the basis that the WordPress family has taken me in, and showed me love and a caring side only WordPress can. The way people take a second to be nice, to answer a question and not make things a competition amazes me here. I know I have been given many awards, but I wanted to leave my own legacy on here by creating my own award, as many have done before. This represents “Family” we never meet, but are there for us as family. It is my honour to start this award”

Rules:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

2. Link back to the person who nominated you.

3. Nominate 10 others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience and family

4. Let your 10 Family members know you have awarded them

5. That is it. Just please pick 10 people who have taken you as a friend, and spread the love

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What a lovely award and now to share it with my “family”

Red’s Rants and Raves

Shouts from the Abyss

Shackled and Crowned

Fish of Gold

The Mercenary Researcher

Thank you to all of you for being so supportive, especially during the tough time with my mom. And thank you to the many others in my blogging family that keep me motivated and inspired to write and read as much as I can. Sometimes you really do get to choose your family. 🙂

Some walks you have to take alone

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Posted on April 11, 2013

Whether it is a walk of pride or the walk of shame, some walks you have to take alone. Embracing your successes or facing up to the repercussions of decisions you have made is an individual journey. Only you can face the truth and the consequences that result from something you have been a part of – good or bad.

And perhaps that walk alone provides you the time and solitude you need to focus on the decisions that have been made previously or have yet to be made in your life. Nobody can choose your path or tell you which fork in the road you must follow. That is a conscious choice that you must decide for yourself. Forging ahead into that journey, on your own, gives you the focus you need to gather the insight into which path you will follow. Along the way, you select the people with whom you want to participate in that pilgrimage.

Some that you have chosen to accompany you on your journey may agree with your direction and some may deviate from the road that lies before you. Perhaps they were only meant to keep you company for a short distance. Others will follow you into the abyss, knowing that the course you have plotted is one akin to a path that they have chosen as well.

Regardless of how many people are willing to follow that road with you, there will always be some walks you have to take unassisted. Some roads are meant to be navigated by you and you alone. There will always be friends at the end of that road – to wipe your brow and perhaps give you a pat on the back for reaching the end of your quest unscathed, but the passage itself is a solitary journey.

Forge ahead on that secluded route. Walk strong with your head held high. Delve deep into the reasons that you have come to this particular fork in the road, and walk alone. But walk alone knowing that at the end of your journey, you have rewarded yourself with the reclusive time needed to dig deep into what you need for yourself to achieve your ultimate goal. Your journey never ends. It only begins with the next step.

Find your wings

16 Comments

Posted on April 4, 2013

I had a completely different post planned for today, but after talking to a friend that I haven’t seen in a while, my whole mindset changed.

(image credit: photo-dictionary.com)

I believe we all begin our journey of life with a full set of wings. I’m not talking about Angel wings, but invisible pinions that give us a chance to rise above ourselves and discover new horizons. Somewhere along our path, our wings may be clipped. They may mutate from their original form and, although we still embody the same freedom of originality, our chance to soar becomes stifled and we miss some of that ability for latitude.

Life can be a daunting journey, fraught with challenges and roadblocks, but those feathered appendages help us maneuver beyond those obstacles with little effort. They give us room for movement that may not otherwise be possible allowing us a chance for an alternate illusion.

Our mere existence on this planet can be described as a roller coaster, a flurry of adventure and blurry images that stream through our line of sight at Mach 4. Somewhere in the blistering speed of that coach car we miss the visions we should be focusing on and get lost in the overwhelming barrage of outside interference. We are inundated with life. We become a victim of its vicious nature and forget to allow ourselves the power to fly because we become saturated with apprehension and doubt.

If you allow it, life will over-stimulate your senses and it will swallow you whole. It will envelop you and wrap your waking moments, keeping you mummified until you surrender your power at the end of a tumultuous and exhausting day.

Find your wings. Give yourself permission to feel that freedom again and take your life back. If the path you are on does not feel like the path you chose – fly. Rise high above it and give yourself a new perspective of your life. You may find that you still had those wings all along but you just forgot how to use them.

Hoarding gives me the Heebie-jeebies

10 Comments

Posted on March 31, 2013

The Daily Prompt asks this question today:

Does a messy home (or office) make you anxious and cranky, or is cleaning something you just do before company comes over?

(image credit: accentondesign.net)

The items on my coffee table do not have to be positioned at precise angles at varying degrees, but things do have a certain place in my house. I am not fanatical about cleaning, but I am stringent about being organized. I don’t get many surprise visitors because I live in a very rural area, but if people drove off the beaten path and arrived at my home, I would not be frantically searching for the Swiffer or tossing newspapers or wrappers under the couch cushions.

The same goes for my desk at work. Sure there are piles of paper and file folders, but they are organized piles that I strategically am able to work through because everything has its place.

Having said that, the entrance way into my house could potentially negate anything I’ve mentioned about seeming organized, but that will be rectified soon. My entrance way is the only spot for me to store my patio cushions and other outdoor items that are longing to be freed from their winter incarceration. It’s nothing close to being a Hoarder’s episode, but it does make me a bit anxious when I see everything piled in one spot. Hazmat suits are not required, but until I win the lottery I will have to deal with the negative aspects of living in a house that is only 650 square feet. At least the rest of it is organized!

Here is what some others had to say:

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Another trip around the sun

40 Comments

Posted on March 28, 2013

Today is an important day in my life…..today I am acutely aware of the number of years I have been on this ever revolving planet. A birthday is not a number to me, but a moment to celebrate the day I entered this life. (and it’s 44, but I still feel 29 so that counts, right?…..right?)

I celebrate with many people, some I know well, some I’ve never met, but there is one important celebration that mirrors mine – my Winnie The Pooh. My mom created a stuffed version of the beloved character for me when I turned one and, to this day, I still have that somewhat tattered foam-filled creature. McCall’s created a Disney series of patterns in the 1960’s that she duplicated for my brother for his first birthday and again, almost four years later, for my birthday.

He has seen his share of joys and tragedies. He has undergone facial reconstruction and some botched plastic surgery (thanks to an over-excitable Labrador Retriever that belonged to a roommate) but he still never fails to hang in there to share year after year with me. He and I have weathered many successes and many ominous periods together, but he still remains the same source of comfort he has always been.

Although it may seem somewhat childish to hang onto a toy that I have long outgrown, Winnie still holds an immeasurable value in my life. He represents a part of my childhood that I hold dear and he continues to represent the faith that I hold in my friendships. He and I may not be able to communicate on the level that is deemed normal for friends but I still feel comfortable confiding in him, knowing that he will always be there to listen when I need him.

Happy birthday Winnie…..may we continue on our journey and have a very long life together!!

When Inspiration and Epic Awesomeness collide

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Posted on March 21, 2013

I would imagine the combination of the two above descriptors to parallel the absolute brilliance of chocolate and peanut butter coming together to provide a delicious taste explosion. But the truth of the matter, the reason I called you all here, is to accept three awards bestowed upon me by fellow bloggers. (and since I really don’t like dispelling too much truth about myself, having to do it only once seemed more plausible)

Thank you to my good friend TwinDaddy who hails from StuphBlog. He has nominated me for the Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness. (who knew there was such a thing, but it sounds….um….awesome). His comedic brilliance, humility, heart wrenching truths and absolute Unshittiness™ are worth checking out if you have not stopped by there already. And shame on you if you haven’t!!

And then not one but two fellow bloggers nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Thank you to Lissa from The Lissa Chronicles and to Nicole from My Desire for Inspiration for giving me a much-appreciated shout out. They both share honest opinions about life and what it takes to keep a smile on your face. Keep up the great writing, ladies!!

It is customary, once the awards have been accepted, to link back to the bloggers who nominated you, which I have done and tell some random facts about yourself. I’ll try to keep it light and exciting so you don’t doze off before I get to the end of this post.

As a child, I wanted to be Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory so much that I went to bed with gum behind my ear. I had to cut half my hair off to get the gum out.
I’m great at giving advice and horrible at taking it.
I once threw up all over a friend’s back. I was holding her hair and rubbing her back while she was trying to throw up and as soon as she did I became the sympathetic puker. It took hours to clean the bathroom.
I have a very wide range of music likes – I listened to Johnny Mathis on the way to work this morning. Yesterday it was Motley Crue.
This will be the last fact because I don’t think I’m interesting enough to fill another 5 bulletin points and you’ve probably nodded off already.

The rest of the rules basically want me to play favorites and nominate a certain number of bloggers for each award. I can’t do it. I can’t single out 10 bloggers – simply because each one of the blogs I follow inspires me with their awesomeness on some level. So in the pure TwinDaddy style of being a rule breaker, I urge you to check out the list of great bloggers on my page. It will only display 50 (how rude!), but you should check them all out when you have time.

I think my speech time has come to an end….I can hear them cuing the music. Waiter? I’ll have a glass of Cabernet…..Waiter??

polysyllabic profundities

Random thoughts with sporadically profound meaning

Category Archives: be yourself