Category Archives: challenges

A million tiny pieces make up the bigger picture

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It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see – Thoreau

(image courtesy of dreamstime.com)

The panorama of our lives is directly proportionate to the depth of beauty we allow ourselves to ingest.  Our lives are like a Kaleidoscope pattern and the aesthetics of that pattern, although they evolve constantly, still enchant us and give us new perspective in each shape that is created.  The colors become richer, deeper in hue, and the beauty is carried over from one frame to the next.

The true beauty that we see does not come from looking at the picture as a whole, but by dissecting the pieces and finding the unique qualities that combine in those fragments to create that spectral portrait.   The attraction to the harmonious blend of colors cannot be appreciated without recognizing the million tiny little shards of color that make up the sum of all its parts.

Take the time to really see the beauty in your life.  Give yourself the extra time to really absorb what you see and look a little closer at all of the smaller parts that help create that bigger picture.  It would be sad to think that some of the muted colors were overlooked because you didn’t take the time to let your eyes focus on those million tiny little things.

Things are not always what they seem – Trifecta post

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From the outside, it would appear like she had it all together.  She radiated confidence.  Her smile was engaging and warm, but inside she was empty, void of feelings.  She was consumed by thoughts of him.  His voice echoed in her ears, his smile was ingrained in her mind and his touch still burned on her skin.

The icy hand of fate had reached down and snatched him far too early.  She stumbled through her days lost in a fog of memories.  She smelled his cologne in the air and heard his laughter rise and fall on the wind.

He wasn’t meant to be there.  He did it for her and when the stray bullet hit him, death was instantaneous.  The guilt she felt consumed her.  She put the last pill on her tongue and washed it down with the bitterness of his whisky.  To everyone else it would appear that she had taken her own life.  But she knew the truth.  He took it with him when he left first.

~

This was written for the Trifectra Challenge.  I don’t know why this story turned out to be so morbid – I will blame exhaustion.  I was even able to use appear twice!

On to the weekly, one-word prompt.  This week’s word is:

APPEAR
1a : to be or come in sight
b : to show up <appears promptly at eight each day>
2: to come formally before an authoritative body <must appear in court today>
3: to have an outward aspect : seem <appears happy enough>

Burning the candle at both ends

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It begins innocently. We take on more and more with each passing day and begin burning that candle at both ends, always with the thought in mind that never the twain shall meet. But they do meet, and someone always gets burned.

burn the candle

In today’s economy and struggling markets people take on more burdens to cement themselves to their jobs. Fiscal responsibility tends to equate to physical and emotional exhaustion but we do what we have to do to secure our stability. It has become a dog-eat-dog existence.

Although we may see that candle as everlasting and continuous, we lose a little piece of our sanity with each drip of wax that is dispelled. A layer of our resolve, like the dripping wax, is melted away from us and collectively pooled into a well of fatigue. The moments of freedom we so carelessly took for granted are a thing of the past and the work day increases in its longevity.  As the winds of our reality fan the flames, the candle burns faster at both ends leaving us with more of a sense of panic and less candle to burn. The days seem longer, the nights seem shorter and we strive to hold fastidiously to our workaday reality.

It is our individual responsibility to snuff that secondary flame – to only allow ourselves one wick with which to burn our energy. If we allow others to dictate how much of the candle we burn at one time we may as well cast ourselves into the inferno and spontaneously combust.

The purpose of a candle is to burn for long periods of time, from one end only, and cast a glow of light that is warm and comforting. Burning that candle from both ends decreases the amount of enjoyment that candle is meant to purvey and exponentially diminishes the enjoyment that is elicited from that one single flame.

Strike your match carefully.  Predestine how much of that candle you are willing to ignite and at which pace you choose it to soften and dissipate.  If you light it sparingly, it will last much longer and the enjoyment of that flame will last that much longer.

Gone but not forgotten – Trifextra post

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Confessions are never easy.  There were moments that I was happy you crossed over.  But then I remembered all of the good things about you and I cried because you passed too soon.

~

Written for the Trifextra Challenge :

On now to our weekend challenge.  This weekend we are asking for a thirty-three word confession.  You’re free to write non-fiction or fiction or to blur the lines in between.  We just encourage you to get creative and give us your best.

This weekend’s challenge is community judged.

  • For the 14 hours following the close of the challenge, voting will be enabled on links.
  • In order to vote, return to this post where stars will appear next to each link.  To vote, simply click the star that corresponds with your favorite post.
  • You can vote for your top three favorite posts.
  • Voting is open to everyone. Encourage your friends to vote for you, if you wish.

I’m not here to impress you

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I am me.  I have simple likes and dislikes (except for the occasional expensive bottle of wine). I live an honest life and I embrace the sense of humor, common sense, moderate intelligence and gift for the vernacular that was bestowed upon me.  I do not, nor will I ever use any of my personality traits to impress you.  But at the end of my journey through this life I hope that, with those traits, I will leave an impression upon you.

So often people spend so much of their time trying to impress the multitudes by being something they are not, nor will they ever be.  The downside to pretending that you are something so far removed from your reality is that eventually people see through the facade and directly into the real you.  Having the self-confidence to believe that you are truly unique is half the battle.  Having the fortitude to stand behind what you represent is the remaining half.

It takes little to no effort to be the person that you truly are and it takes a moderate resolution to negate any ill will towards people who do not embrace the qualities you possess. It takes even broader shoulders to not care.  If you have ever been told that you are one in a million, that is a gross understatement. There is no singular being on this grand planet that can ever take your place.

By living to impress others you do yourself an egregious injustice.  Trying to live up to the standards of others simply means you are ignoring your standards and your life is no longer about you.

Leave the impression on this world that you want to leave – not the impression you think others want you to leave.  Don’t lose yourself striving for their definition of perfection.  As you continue to embark on your personal journey you may find that your idea of perfection is much better.  The sense of accomplishment you achieve doing it your way will be that much more rewarding.

It’s not about how you see yourself dying, it’s about how you see yourself living

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Most days I find Facebook too full of judgement, too saturated with over-sharing and too congested with an exaggerated amount of requests to play something called Farmville.   But on rare occasions, things are shared that make me glad I have not deleted my account.  The video below made me think a lot about how I am living my life and it made me cry.  The tears that stained my cheeks were a mixture of sadness for the loss of such a beautiful life and tears of joy for being able to have a brief glimpse into the soul of such a beautiful child.

Please take the 20 minutes to watch the story of Zach Sobiech.  It will make the subject line of this post stand out in the forefront of your mind and make me you rethink how you live your life each day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjKgV65fpo

Cell phone etiquette

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The world of technology has taken over our lives.  We rely so much on computers and cell phones to communicate that it is affecting the way we relate to others.  And although our reliance on social media can do a lot to boost our self-esteem, it does affect the way we interact with each other on a more personal level.

Everywhere you turn now people are visibly attached to their cell phones and their tablets.  Although they allow us to maintain better contact with our families and help us find long-lost friends and acquaintances they seem to be setting us back in terms of our social skills.  Many times during conversations people will hear the magical sound of their cell phone alerting them to a call or text and, without thinking, reach for that phone and forget that they are physically interfacing with another human being.  With the touch of a button we make contact with others distant from us and forget the art of conversation that can be utilized with the people right in front of us.

cell phone

I was recently made aware of a new fad – groups of people who are going out for dinner agree to put their cell phones in the middle of the table.  (the smart ones turn them off)  The first person to reach for the phone during the meal has to pick up the tab.  What a great trend to follow or to start in your own community of friends.

Imagine the amount of time you could actually spend with your friends and loved ones being engaged and truly invested in that relationship instead of worrying about the text messages you may be missing.  The text messages will always be there for you to read but your friends may not wait around for you to give them the attention they deserve face to face.

Getting back my sense of self

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For the first time in a long time I walked through my house tonight and found I was smiling.  I wasn’t reliving a memory or anticipating an upcoming event, I was just….happy.

I hadn’t realized how much of my happiness had been consumed by reality until the corners of my lips were turned upright for no particular reason.  After all the tension I have experienced over the last couple of months, I was sure those muscles had atrophied and would require intense physiotherapy to get the full range of motion to return.  The degeneration of joy was paralyzing.

But I am once again finding beauty in my surroundings because stress no longer abrades my senses.  The scent of lilacs permeates my nose as soon as I step outside and the sounds of the creatures of the night soothe me with their harmonic tones.  And after many nights of being unaware of the true depth of my melancholy, I am now able to appreciate their symphony and realize that my true bliss has returned.

My words flow more freely now because they are no longer trapped in a smoldering vat of fermenting unrest.  My brain is at ease and my creativity flows in small streams until it culminates at the mouth of the river.  Those ideas trickle along the banks of my mind.  Each drop of inspiration is collected, it pools and eddies at the precipice until the words spill uncontrollably over the crest of rock and create a waterfall of language and expression.  That waterfall is my release.  That rapid flow of ideas is my heaven.

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(image credit: commons.wikimedia.org)

I have slowly re-acquainted myself with the things that I hold dear.  I have learned to let go of the stress and spend time each day making new memories and not just relying on recollections of my past to satiate my need for happy thoughts.  I have regained my inner compass.  I have reclaimed my sense of self.

Doing the right thing doesn’t always feel right

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The hardest part of playing the role of both child and advocate is making the decisions that you know are the right thing to do, but they are the most difficult decisions to follow through.

I have written recently about my mom’s health issues and having to move her out of her home into a Retirement / Assisted Living Facility and clean the house of her belongings.  She seems to be content where she is, but she misses her pets immensely.  The decision to surrender her cats had to be done, but not without some hardship and second guessing along the way.   The place my mom is living now does allow pets, but we are not sure if this is going to be the place my mom is able to stay.

Trying to explain to my mother why she cannot get another cat at the moment is heart-breaking.  She would love to have a companion, but I would hate to see her go through the process of having to give up another pet if she has to move.  Sure, we are absolutely doing the right thing but it feels awful.

no_cats_allowed_sign

(image credit: factorydirectcraft.com)

I don’t have children of my own so I can only imagine the struggles parents go through having to do what’s best for their children and only hoping that someday those children will understand.  I’m not sure if my mom will ever agree with some of the decisions we have recently made on her behalf.  I can only hope she remains as happy as she can and some day, years from now, when she joins my father in Heaven she will look back on her life and know we are only doing what’s right for her.  I just wish it felt better doing it.

Stick a fork in me Jerry, I’m done!

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For any of you that watched Seinfeld in the good old days, the subject line of this post refers to the day Kramer lathered himself in butter to tan on the roof and fell asleep.  Many references were made to the smell of roasted turkey coming from the roof and Newman spent most of the day chasing Kramer through the hallways of their apartment building armed with a knife and fork.

I now have some frame of reference to what a turkey feels like when it is pulled from the oven.  Today, I had my first ever M.R.I. to determine what I have done to my knee.  For those unaware of Magnetic Resonance Imaging, the process is similar to taking a meat product and shoving into a casing to create a sausage.  A human body is robed in the flattering hospital gown and pants and thrust into an opening barely large enough to contain said body.  For twenty to thirty minutes, the owner of the body must remain perfectly motionless for the imaging to be successful.

mri-10

(image credit:  howstuffworks.com)

Precautions are taken to restrict any movement of the part being scanned and a call button is placed in the hand of the subject waiting to enter the tunnel in case of any discomfort or panic.  Thankfully I did not experience either of those.  With a knee scan, the head remains outside of the enclosure and the orb surrounds only the parts deemed necessary for imaging.

Ear plugs are inserted to mute the throbbing noise created by the imaging machine and dulcet tones are played to mask the sound of technology.  The soothing sounds of The Eagles helped to transport me to that hotel in California where you can check out any time you want but you can never leave, but the DJ followed up with James Brown’s “I Feel Good” and it was painful to remain still.  Who doesn’t want to move when you hear that song?

The machine hummed and pulsated.  The tube resonated with the sounds of helium-suspended-magnets as bursts of radio frequencies were bounced from my flesh back to a computer where the images would be recorded for posterity and diagnosis.  The heat in the tube increased and my body temperature spiked.  Beads of sweat trickled from my brow and finally the timer sounded.  My M.R.I. was over and dinner was served.   If only I’d thought to prepare myself with some butter, salt and pepper.  Thankfully nobody chased me down the corridors of the hospital with a knife and fork!