His grip was strong,
but tender,
and that’s how he held me,
firm in his grasp, but tender in his emotion.
But it wasn’t just how he held me,
it’s how he saw me.
His look was beyond flesh,
it looked past imperfections.
He just saw me,
for who I was,
under the shroud of my physical form.
He looked into me and,
as his hand held mine,
in that frozen moment,
I became lost in him.
His grip was strong, but tender,
and in that grasp,
now lies my heart.
She’s so vain. I didn’t think it was possible but my dog has begun to show narcissistic tendencies. She is absolutely one of the sweetest dogs I have ever known and I never thought I would be writing these words about her.
Our routines have changed since she had her second seizure a few weeks ago. She came through it just fine but I wanted to keep as close an eye on her as I could, so her outdoor adventures became shadowed by my presence and an extendable leash so I could monitor her well-being.
Three or four times a day, we walk to the end of our road and back and she thrills in discovering new smells each time we travel along the same stretch of pavement. She has been trained to sit down at the side of the road every time a car passes so they are not concerned about getting too close. But lately after each car has passed, her smile widens and she leaps from her seated position to follow the occupants of the vehicle that she has convinced herself are on the road only to see her. I am loath to admit that my dog has become a Kardashian.
Tail wagging, she veers into the middle of the road to catch a whiff of the humans in the metal can on wheels. If the car is going in the opposite direction, I suddenly find myself the one being walked down the road. And, much to my dismay, several cars stop to chat only reinforcing her belief that they have stopped just for her. After her faithful subjects have curtsied and paid their respects, her head swells slightly, I feel moderately deprived of oxygen and we continue our walk until we are securely tucked back into our humble abode (which I’m sure she now feels is beneath her).
(image: Callaway as a puppy)
As I’m sure it happens in Hollywood, Callaway’s fame happened overnight. Three or four times a day, I apparently walk a movie star. I missed the memo explaining my new role in this relationship but as long as I still have that smiling face in my life, I’m okay with it!
All friendships have an energy, a momentum that carries with it an implied understanding. The bonds of those friendships can be stretched taut like an elastic band but, when the tension is finally released, that friendship continues to maintain its original integrity and strength.
I am fortunate that I have several of those friendships in my life. As circumstances have occasionally dictated, some of the parameters of those friendships have been forced to change but the feelings contained within that framework have always remained the same.
When you find a pearl in a sea of oysters, you grab it and you never let it go. I don’t need to have a lot of friends in my life but I do need to have real friends, friends who know that my silence speaks louder than my voice, friends who laugh with me because they share my humor and friends who know that they will never have to search for my heart because they will always find it on my sleeve.
Friendships don’t happen by accident. We are drawn to people who are meant to be in our lives because they teach us things about ourselves. I will never underestimate the power of a true friendship. And, though I try to tell my friends as often as possible that I love them, a simple reminder never hurts.
I held you in a dream.
You became a part of me,
as if my body never ended
and you were merely
an extension of me.
And though I felt like I was floating away,
you were there
to pull me back to you,
to hold me in my slumber,
to keep me in your embrace,
to never let me go.
**I saw a video of these otters slowly drifting apart and coming back together. They inspired this poem.
“Happiness is a warm puppy.” ~ Charles M Schulz
~~
I have had the pleasure of sharing my life with this beautiful creature for the past 8 1/2 years. She has been my companion and my confidant without question. Last night she had her second seizure in exactly six months to the day. I must admit I handled this one much better than the first but it is still a very traumatic event.
It is a horrible sensation to feel helpless, unable to control what is happening to the one living thing that has given me unconditional love since we first laid eyes on each other. The only thing I could offer her in the moment of her worst distress was the return of my unconditional love.
I remembered to remain calm. I kept her out of harms way as her body remained rigid under the gentle touch of my hand. Once the sound of my voice could be heard again, she began to relax.
You don’t have to have a child to feel like a mother. I lay in bed after she finally went to sleep, hyper-vigilant to the point that I remained awake for hours after the event. I listened for any odd sound in her breathing and for any strange noise similar to the commotion that originally alerted me to the seizure at the beginning. Once I did drift into slumber, any unfamiliar discord woke me with a slight panic but the puppy continued to snore softly in her bed.
This morning, she is the same puppy in a dog’s body. She is full of energy, eager for her walk and her treats and acting happily like nothing ever happened.
We see the vet in a few days and fingers crossed we get a relatively clean bill of health. I’m not ready to imagine my life waking up and not seeing that face.
My curiosity ignites.
My burning question is nourished
purely by the fuel of my deep desire
to know,
to experience,
to feel the brush of romance
on the canvas that is my skin.
My heart burns
with a yearning
to find you.
~~
The glow burned my eyes but I couldn’t take my gaze from its mesmerizing emanation. It stood like a sentinel, guarding my emotion. Although it was a single flame, that lone candle represented the one person I wished was here with me.
If you see my reflection,
if my eyes look at you from ethereal places,
know that I am by your side.
I don’t have to be near you
to be with you.
You see me,
at the moment you are in my thoughts,
in the precious seconds
I get to be closer to you.
Your reflection is in my heart.
It is in the air around me
and in the divine breath that lets me stay in this place.
If you see me,
it is because I never let go of you.
~~
You left us in the early hours,
so peacefully your spirit would roam.
Through a gentle wind and the rising sun,
He called to take you home.
A ladder was built for your journey to light,
each rung meant to make you content.
While bathed in the glowing light of rebirth,
you gracefully began your ascent.
Loving arms awaited you there,
curling you into their embrace.
Heaven welcomed an angel back home,
rejoicing her love and her grace.
You leave behind your spirit and joy,
in those who loved you each day.
While our days will be saddened by the emptiness we feel,
we know we will see you again someday.
~
Jane Eleanore Nairn – May 21, 1940 – March 7, 2014
He put his arm around my waist,
pulled me close,
and whispered the word ‘mine’.
I didn’t feel like an object,
I felt protected, loved.
Locked in his embrace,
I felt I was where I should be.
Unlike who I had been,
I let myself feel vulnerable.
I let him take control.
I let the strength of his embrace
assuage any fear I felt.
I just let him love me on his terms.
I curled into him,
and let everything else go.
Because, in that moment,
nothing else mattered.
polysyllabic profundities 