Monthly Archives: July 2013

Hurt people hurt people

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Life itself is a study of human behaviour.  On any given day we are subjected to a barrage of human emotions and we are forced to choose how we are affected by the cacophony of those desires, disturbances and agitations.

I have realized more and more as I spend time with people on a daily basis that our moods can blanket a crowd.  Our feelings can either stifle a room with their despondent nature or they can lift a room with their positivity.  And within those moments of truly understanding how moods can be like waves encroaching on a shore I have come to realize a very important truth – hurt people hurt people.  Whether it is their true intention to drown those of us on the shore with their pessimistic approach to life. it seems to assuage some of their unsettled feelings if they can make others feel that same sense of repugnant emotion.

waves on a shore

I can only understand this phenomenon because I approach it from the other side of the behavioural spectrum.  I am a very optimistic person and when life doles out those proverbial lemons I am never upset by the bitter gift.  But for a great number of people out there,those lemons don’t ever have the hope of representing anything as beautiful as what I envision them becoming.  There is no lemon meringue pie, no lemon curd trifle – they see them as nothing more than lemons – sour, porous sponges awaiting a multitude of bacteria to invade their outer skin.

When I am presented with that undue sense of adverse emotion I can only respond with empathy.  I know that the root of that misguided emotion has to do with something much deeper than anything I could ever comprehend by just being on the receiving end of their stinging barbs.   Those people who hurt so deeply want nothing more than for others to feel the pain that they are governed by so they don’t feel so alone in their misery.

Perhaps I have watched one too many crime dramas and understand the true affliction of unhappiness and ingrained sadness.  Or perhaps I have seen first-hand how every day life can try to drain every ounce of positivity we hold so dear.  Whatever the reason, I will always reserve the belief that people’s emotional lives are not linear.  One sudden event cannot bring the peace that they are seeking.  But if we can inject one small amount of good will, some semblance of positive energy into their lives, perhaps we can help eventually right their wrongs and swing the curve of energy in their lives back to the positive side.  Each of us has the chance to inspire goodness every day and who wouldn’t want to wield that power?  We may not be able to make them forget their sadness but, just maybe, we can help them see that within their past angst they can learn to create a new happiness and finally make something good out of those lemons.

“Though nothing can bring back the hour of the splendor in the grass, glory in the flower, we will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind” ~ William Wordsworth


					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					Don’t be an echo
				

			
							
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Entering into the blogging community, I knew there would be a myriad of voices – voices that expounded opinions from many points of the spectrum of language, voices that wanted to speak and voices that yearned to be heard.


Each post that is put into the blogosphere has the ability to change the conversation and each writer’s voice is unique.  The joy of reading these blogs is that it opens the mind to different possibilities.  No one voice is the same, yet every string of words that is written has the ability to deeply influence its reader and affect their perception of those words.


Conformity in the writing world is blasphemy – challenging the parameters is a requirement.  If your writing sets you apart from others, whether it be your content or your writing style, your words are exclusive.  Many writers may tackle the same subject but each mind gives an unparalleled view and invites the reader into their perception of reality.


The writing Gods, or demons (depending on the hour of day that you are incessantly tapping at your keyboard), are relentless.  They wake you from unadulterated slumber, they seep into your dreams and they shadow you during your waking hours.  They infiltrate your thoughts and transport you into a world of possibility.  No two writers will ever have the same journey.


Telling a writer to change their style of writing is like telling a leopard to change its spots.  Those spots define that creature and the words on the page mark the individuality of the writer.  Speak up, writers.  Speak up and let your voice be heard.  Be your own voice and not an echo.   An echo is only an imitation and if you have things to say, say it your way.




(The Echo Amphitheatre in New Mexico- photo credit ~ vivanewmexico.com)

					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					To my mom – Trifextra Challenge
				

			
							
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Your strength and tenacity plagues yet amazes me.  You defy the odds of modern medicine and diagnosis.  Despite expectation you continue to thrive and live to see another day.  The gates will wait.


~


Written for the weekend Trifecta Challenge and dedicated to my mom who is in failing health, but continues to fight with every ounce of her determination.


The challenge is this:  Last weekend we gave you a super prescriptive prompt.  We also promised you we’d ease up this week.  As such, this weekend we are asking for a thirty-three word free-write.  Any topic, any style–just give us your best thirty three.

					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					Feeding the right wolf
				

			
							
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It never ceases to amaze me when people make gross assumptions about single people and feel that they must be missing something in their lives.  Not all single people are lonely.  Just as not all people who are taken are in love.  Some things we see on our own would completely escape our attention if we were with others.


Single is not a status.  I am forging through this life unattached again by choice.  That decision took some deep soul-searching on my part but in the end it was the best decision I have made in a long time.  My willingness to be on my own again only solidified the fact that I am strong enough to live and thrive without having to depend on another person to perpetuate my happiness.  There were days during my marriage that I felt more alone than I do now that I live on my own again.


For some reason my change in marital status brought to mind the story of the elderly Cherokee speaking to his grandson and explaining about the two wolves that reside within each of us.  One is evil.  It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment and lies.  The other is good.  It is love, kindness, humility, hope, empathy and truth.  When the boy questions the grandfather as to which wolf wins, the grandfather simply replies, “the one you feed”.


two-wolves


By choosing to end my relationship and live on my terms I chose to feed the good wolf.  Once again I feel surrounded by a sense of peace that I have not enjoyed in a while.  I do not hold any ill will towards my ex whatsoever but he was the oil to my water.  He had a heaviness in his emotions that felt oppressive and suffocating and it began to change the person I had been.  We make much better friends than we ever did marital partners.  By choosing to untangle the knot of our union I gave myself permission to begin a new journey.  I allowed myself to delve further into my psyche than I had ever done previously and really focus my attention on who I really am and what I really want.


On that journey I have discovered many new things about myself as well as rediscovering some things that have been long since buried.  I have gained a confidence that I never knew I had and have developed a new respect for the strength I possessed to make that great leap of faith to cut the ties that bound me to the person I had become.  I now feel weightless.  Some days I wish I could truly float out of my body just to gain more perspective and give myself a thumbs up.


Single is not lonely.  Single is exploration.   Single is permission to simply be.  It is not a sentence but a rare opportunity to give ourselves the chance to really get to know who we truly are, warts and all, and to really embrace the qualities that make us unique.


The wind at my back is my yesterdays tickling my skin with the promise of today and gently pushing me into tomorrow.  Whether I enter my tomorrows alone or with another my contentment will be at the forefront of the decisions I make.  If my choice is to be single, I will never be lonely.

					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					An Open Letter To Ellen DeGeneres
				

			
							
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I urge everyone to reblog and to link up to Ellen’s pages….help a friend out!!


The Hook's avatarYou've Been Hooked!


Dearest Ellen,



Hello. How are you? That’s great to hear, seriously. Listen, I know you’ve got a full plate in front of you right now (Okay, maybe not literally; you don’t look like you eat that much, to be honest. However, I stand by the statement.), especially considering how many challenges you have to deal with right now.



  • Voicing animated fish is no mean feat. (How do they record your voice underwater anyway?)
  • Arranging for Sofía Vergara to be “accidentally” deported so you can be the reigning CoverGirl has to be a lot of work.
  • Teaching millions of people to dance like no one is watching while hosting a kick-butt talk show must be exhausting. And sweaty, no doubt.



Normally I use this forum to write about my life as a bellman in Niagara Falls, but today I want to write to you from my heart.



I’ve been married to…


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					Common Sense
				

			
							
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Common sense may not be as common as we would like to think.  Common sense is described as the basic level of practical knowledge and judgement that we all need to help us live in a reasonable and safe way.  Although that seems like a very simple idea there are many people who are unable to harness the that basic level of sense.




I have had this discussion with many friends on many occasions – would you rather be book smart or have common sense?  My answer was always the same and always will be – I would far rather have common sense. People with book smarts that lack that aspect of common sense are few and far between, but it does happen.  They can memorize an entire year of law reviews and quote Roe v. Wade verbatim but when it comes to simple, common sense decisions they lack the ability to put things into a functional perspective.


I am fortunate that I was born with a quick, analytical mind.  I can take a situation and process it quickly to come up with a viable solution.  This to me is common sense – being able to scrutinize your surroundings and make a valid decision based on your opinion.


Common sense allows you to interpret and respond to a situation within seconds.  It may seem like a snap judgement but there is stronger force helping guide you to that decision that you feel in your gut is the right thing to do. Book smarts can only get you so far but common sense will guide you seemingly and effortlessly through this journey we call life.  I can’t tell you the details of Roe v. Wade but I can certainly get myself through any situation with some careful thought and conscientious decision-making.


There is a profound satisfaction in knowing that, although I may not be entirely book smart, I can navigate my way through life with a sense of knowing that I will be able to conquer whatever arises with a bit of common sense.  I can always pick up a book or Google the answers that evade me in certain circumstances, but situational awareness and the comfort in having common sense will far outweigh being my own Encyclopedia any day.

					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					Love and Loss – Trifecta Challenge
				

			
							
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The markings were crude at best.  Pagan symbols written in blood on the wall were meant to portray a cult following but their vulgar simplicity meant only one thing, Victor was not taking his medication again.  She knew he had been acting strangely but she dismissed the possibility that his anger had escalated.  He was her only child and she would not see him incarcerated.  He would never survive containment.


She tugged at the rubber gloves until they snapped just above her wrists and her hand plunged into the tepid water to reach for the scrub brush.  She had lost count when it came to the number of times she had scoured these cellar walls.  The stench of decay was overwhelming and it permeated her nostrils.  Her senses adjusted once again and her muscles ached and objected to the physical labor.  The vast field beyond their home was filled with too many unmarked graves but she would never see Victor left as a mere number in a row of inmates.


Victor’s father had left only minutes ago with shovel in hand to turn over the newest patch of earth.  She could hear Victor’s sobbing in the distance.  She was sure the tears were a sign of remorse and that is the belief she would take to her grave.  If only she could see that her husband was not  just digging a single grave.


~


Written for the Trifectra Challenge – (perhaps I should have written this when I wasn’t thinking about the dark character in my book)


This week’s one-word prompt was suggested to us by Ritu from Things To Rave About in our Meet Your Fellow Trifectans meme.  If you’re not linked up there, you should be.  Click through and give us your details so we can get to know you a bit better.




CRUDE

1: existing in a natural state and unaltered by cooking or processing <crude oil>

2 archaic : unripe, immature

3: marked by the primitive, gross, or elemental or by uncultivated simplicity or vulgarity <a crude stereotype>

4: rough or inexpert in plan or execution <a crude shelter>

5: lacking a covering, glossing, or concealing element :obvious <crude facts>

6: tabulated without being broken down into classes <thecrude death rate>






Remember:






    

  • Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
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  • You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
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  • The word itself needs to be included in your response.
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  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
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  • Only one entry per writer.
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  • If your post doesn’t meet our requirements, please leave your link in the comments section, not in the linkz.
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  • Trifecta is open to everyone. Please join us.
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– See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.PNRbwkef.dpuf

					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					No more wrinkles for this girl
				

			
							
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After beginning what I thought was going  to be a rather uneventful day off, I received the news that I had been Freshly Pressed!!  I’ve been dabbling in micro-fiction and poetry, and pouring my heart into some of my posts hoping to connect on a deep level with people and my effort has been rewarded with a great pat on the back.  Thank you WordPress for giving us the freedom to be ourselves and explore our inner voices without judgement.  And thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet some great friends along the way!!