I lived through a very tumultuous marriage. It was a great lesson for me but, in mathematical terms, the product of my relationship was divided by the sum of our differences and eventually created a result that lacked a remainder. There were so many variables and so few constants that our bond was doomed from the beginning. I should have been the operator but, instead, I felt like a fraction of my true self.
The formula for a successful bond relies on a form of symmetry. The arrangement of the most fundamental parts of our lives need to align to create a true collaborative bond. You cannot expect to live a happy life in a paradox. You cannot create an answerable question without supplying the linear equation that gives you those answers. All of the pieces of your life need to make you happy, not just the sum of the happy parts. Going through the motions and cancelling out the negative parts of the bigger picture subtracts from the value of each day. Sure you will make mistakes along the way, but those mistakes should add to your education and not take away from your self-worth.
I lived that equation. The perfect number may exist in the glossary of mathematical terms but it does not thrive in real life. Perfection takes effort and, at the end of the exam, all of the negatives never added up to a positive for me. I was in the wrong equation and it was glaringly evident. It was time to subtract myself and cut my losses.
Once my math exam was over I learned to breathe freely again and I felt empowered by my freedom. I learned to enjoy my own company more than I ever had and it was liberating. What I currently perceive as solitude some would call loneliness but they don’t have the numbers to back up their hypothesis.
I now spend my days knowing that I passed that math test and that my final grade has truly helped me balance my life in a way that I never thought possible. And now that I have erased the errors of my past, I am free to create a new formula for my happiness. I can choose to remain constant or I can choose to add or subtract the things that will bring me the most happiness. Regardless of what I choose, I know I will only add the people who fill the gaps in my life and not those who subtract from my bliss.