Category Archives: friendship

When Inspiration and Epic Awesomeness collide

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I would imagine the combination of the two above descriptors to parallel the absolute brilliance of chocolate and peanut butter coming together to provide a delicious taste explosion.  But the truth of the matter, the reason I called you all here, is to accept three awards bestowed upon me by fellow bloggers.  (and since I really don’t like dispelling too much truth about myself, having to do it only once seemed more plausible)

Thank you to my good friend TwinDaddy who hails from StuphBlog.  He has nominated me for the Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness.  (who knew there was such a thing, but it sounds….um….awesome).  His comedic brilliance, humility, heart wrenching truths and absolute Unshittiness™ are worth checking out if you have not stopped by there already.  And shame on you if you haven’t!!

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And then not one but two fellow bloggers nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.  Thank you to Lissa from The Lissa Chronicles and to Nicole from My Desire for Inspiration for giving me a much-appreciated shout  out.  They both share honest opinions about life and what it takes to keep a smile on your face.  Keep up the great writing, ladies!!

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It is customary, once the awards have been accepted, to link back to the bloggers who nominated you, which I have done and tell some random facts about yourself.  I’ll try to keep it light and exciting so you don’t doze off before I get to the end of this post.

  •  As a child, I wanted to be Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory so much that I went to bed with gum behind my ear.  I had to cut half my hair off to get the gum out.
  •  I’m great at giving advice and horrible at taking it.
  • I once threw up all over a friend’s back.  I was holding her hair and rubbing her back while she was trying to throw up and as soon as she did I became the sympathetic puker.  It took hours to clean the bathroom.
  • I have a very wide range of music likes – I listened to Johnny Mathis on the way to work this morning.  Yesterday it was Motley Crue.
  • This will be the last fact because I don’t think I’m interesting enough to fill another 5 bulletin points and you’ve probably nodded off already.

The rest of the rules basically want me to play favorites and nominate a certain number of bloggers for each award.  I can’t do it.  I can’t single out 10 bloggers – simply because each one of the blogs I follow inspires me with their awesomeness on some level.  So in the pure TwinDaddy style of being a rule breaker, I urge you to check out the list of great bloggers on my page.  It will only display 50 (how rude!), but you should check them all out when you have time.

I think my speech time has come to an end….I can hear them cuing the music.  Waiter?  I’ll have a glass of Cabernet…..Waiter??

Excuse me, I’m trying to scurry here….

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The Daily Prompt has asked this question: Do parties and crowds fill you with energy, or send you scurrying for peace and quiet?

When I was younger crowds never bothered me.  I went to concerts and enjoyed the combined energy that only a crowd could produce.  But as I’ve gotten older, I have achieved an extreme level of distaste for feeling like a turtle caught in a school of fish.

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(photo credit: twistedsifter.com)

That mass of people who hurtle themselves in all directions seem to have no awareness of those around them and give me the sense that I have lost control of my own trajectory.  Malls are especially unsettling for me and I avoid them like the plague, especially during the holidays.  Although there is greater risk of credit cards being compromised with the advancement of hacker technology, I am happy to sit in the comfort of my own home and shop online for those gifts that cannot be purchased locally.

A small party with an intimate group of friends is bliss.  I tend to relax and am able to be myself, allowing my goofy personality to take center stage and I feel more comfortable asserting my need to be the life of the party.  That assertion becomes non-existent in large groups and I get a growing sense of discomfort feeling like that lost turtle again.

Give me a subdued night with good friends, good food and good wine any day.  My life now is about developing those close relationships with people who matter to me.  I don’t miss the feeling of being a pinball in an arena sized game and playing hide and seek with friends in a crowd of 20,000 people.

My life is a romantic comedy, minus the romance

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(photo credit: hdw.eweb4.com)

For the past few months, I have been inspired by the genius idea from one Mr. Edward Hotspur.  He has encouraged us to write about romance, whether it is poetry, short fiction or a personal reflection.  I love everything that romance embodies, but the posts I have written that were spurred on by the Monday challenge were all pulled from the vault of my memories, fond recollections or wishes for the future.  My life, although loosely resembling a romantic comedy, currently contains no romance.

My daily existence does round out the rest of the requirements for the romantic comedy.  I’ve got some unique personality traits that could create a funny story line, I’ve got some quirky friends that make an appearance every few episodes, I have a job that allows me some creative material and a dog that could steal the show.

Living in a small town doesn’t afford too many opportunities to stumble upon romance.  I’ve caved a couple of times and tried online dating sites to see who may be lurking out there, but even the sights that promise to deliver matches based on specific traits that I have listed as important seem to fish in the shallow end of that dating pool.  I’m amazed at some of the “matches” that are sent my way and the online romantic search ends before it really begins.  Even though I have moments of bravery thinking I will give it another shot, I recall this experience and run, screaming, away from my laptop.

Although I’m fine being on my own, I find inspiration in the stories and poetry I read on this blog site written by strangers and by new friends.  They are happy to shout their romantic thoughts and experiences and it makes me want to continue the quest for that ever elusive romance.  The dream of him is still alive and I will continue to hold that dream close.  If we don’t embrace the darkness, we will never be able to see the stars.

What we’ve got here is failure to communicate

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Cool Hand Luke – so cool, and so right.  Good communication is the cornerstone to any relationship.  Whether it be a work situation or an intimate kinship, the ability to be able to convey an idea through honest and open dialogue is the key to any successful alliance.

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(image credit: 123rf.com)

Most human beings like to avoid conflict as much as possible.  The thought of an open discussion, face to face, with the person you need to deal with is unbearable.  We tend to alleviate the anxiety of that topic by discussing it with a multitude of other people rather than facing the dragon head on.  But we fail to realize we are only delaying the inevitable and that myriad of other people we share our dilemma with will only add fuel to the original fire, giving it the potential to burn uncontrollably.

Life could be so much less complicated if we always had the nerve to face our problems head on and communicate our issues with the person that is at the root of our predicament.  I have been guilty of avoiding confrontation myself but the end result was always exponentially worse because I was not dealing with the quandary first hand and I let outside influences sway my judgement.

I have made a much more conscious effort to communicate my thoughts and deal directly with situations before they spiral out of control.  Sure, summoning the courage to take the first step is difficult but ultimately clearing the air at the very beginning of the conflict will allow you to breathe easier in the long run.  The conflict can be easily resolved if it’s not allowed to take on a life of its own and the weight of the problem that sits on your shoulders is assuaged.

I am slowly building the courage to face my demons directly and not allow other voices to be my own.  Only I can have the most honest discussion about the issue that I am faced with and I am learning to have faith in my ability to communicate.  One honest voice is louder than a crowd.

What do you do when faced with a situation that requires confrontation?

Only You – Romantic Monday

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Technically it is still Sunday, but Romantic Monday has captured me again!  Thank you Edward Hotspur for encouraging us to pour our hearts out.

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Only you can make my heart skip a beat with one look.  You see me like no other person ever will because you don’t look at me, you look into me.  You see my beauty beyond the boundaries of flesh.  You see my soul.  You see the love and happiness that I hold close, but you also see the pain and heartache that balances me.

Only you can light my skin on fire with a single touch.  A simple gesture, a hand gently tracing my cheek and my body warms to your touch.  Your lips barely graze mine but I feel a slight quiver sensing the emotion of that moment.  I know the passion that lurks behind that kiss.

Only you make me want to dream of the impossible because everything seems attainable with you by my side.  There is no limit to imagination.  There is only you, encouraging my dreams and wanting to be a part of them.  You understand when I hear whispers in the wind.  You enjoy my child-like excitement when I discover new stories in my head and you appreciate that I have to put them to paper as soon as I have them.

Only you know my need to be accepted for who I am and not who people want me to be.  You encourage me to be an individual and embrace the quirks that have created the person I have become.  You appreciate that I feel like a Raggedy-Ann in a Barbie Doll world, but you would rather be Raggedy-Andy than Ken any day of the week.

Only you are the part of me I didn’t know I was missing.  It will always be only you.

If only I knew where to find you.

Varying degrees of interpretation

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I love blogging. It allows me to truly be myself, to express words and feelings that come to mind without having to think about them. Stories that would be otherwise untold rise to the surface and hurtle themselves at the page through my fingertips.

When I jumped into this creative ocean, I had no idea what to expect and absolutely no realization that I would cast myself into a sea of churning drops of water that, although they combine to create a large body of water, each possess qualities that make them truly unique.  The vast array of blogs that I read allows me to look at the world through different eyes and see things in a way that may have escaped my attention.  They create a path for me to follow through a portal into an inspired world that I may never have found on my own.

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(image courtesy of naturealive.asia)

The Trifecta Challenges embody these varying degrees of interpretation.  A great number of bloggers are given the same challenge and no two entries are similar in any respect, apart from following the rules for submitting posts.  Each writer is struck by a lightning bolt of creativity but that bolt is generated from a completely exclusive storm and the raindrops of ideas saturate only their mind.

When I post an idea I look forward to the comments I receive.  Initially I would have child-like reaction if a comment held an opposing view, but I have come to appreciate being able to see my thoughts from another perspective.  Each comment is like a golden pin of light shining through the words, altering the original picture and making me look at my own thoughts in a different way.

This blogging journey has expanded my mind, not only in my writing but also my ability to ingest words from other writers and see the world through their eyes.  And whether their world is dripping in sarcasm, prolific with poetry or fraught with haunting truths I enjoy being a part of their journey as well as having them be a part of my literary pilgrimage.

How has blogging changed your world?

Puppy love

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For all intents and purposes, my dog is my child.  She has been in my life for 5 1/2 years and has completely wrapped herself in my heart-strings.  Decisions I make are based on what would be best for her and how my decisions will affect her.  Since my divorce, I have not spent a night away from her – until last night.  I went to the city for a work function and left her at home.  My neighbor graciously agreed to come and tend to her needs but it was difficult leaving her behind.

I can only imagine how a parent feels leaving their child with a babysitter for the first time.  The feeling of anxiety was overwhelming as I drove out of my driveway.  My intuition assured me she would be fine, but my guilt kept prodding at that intuition and the inner struggle was awful.

The Guest Appreciation night was a great success, but several times during the evening I felt the pang of regret knowing she was home alone.  I’m sure she slept the whole time and enjoyed having the bed to herself but I could not disregard the fleeting moments that my brain was distracted by thoughts of my furry friend.  As I write this, I find it a little odd that my connection with my puppy dog is that strong but she has been my friend and confidant through many tumultuous times and I would be lost without her.

I awoke at 6:30 this morning and, as I always do, called her name.  When my bloodshot eyes focused on my surroundings I realized that I was in a hotel two hours away and I missed her.  Had I not been giving a ride home to two of my coworkers, I would have hastily thrown on my clothes and driven home at that moment.

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All is right in my world again.  I arrived home to her welcoming smile and an exuberant greeting and we have assumed our usual positions – me on the couch with my laptop and Callaway curled in a ball at my feet.

Do your pets have the same hold on you?  Or am I slowly going crazy?

All is fair in love and war

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The art of building and maintaining a relationship is a craft that is sometimes difficult to master.  There is a fine balance between debating and fighting and it is a balance that every couple has to find.

love and war

 

(image courtesy of Google)

When they say all is fair in love and war, what they are really saying is – it has to be fair.  There are things everyone needs in their relationships and everyone’s needs are different.  You may need to feel supported or you may need to feel challenged, but everyone has a need.  It is up to you to figure out what your needs really are and, at the end of process, to be fair to your partner while fulfilling those needs.

I was talking to a good friend recently about what he needs and we talked about “the list” – taking the time to write the list of what is important to you in a relationship, what type of feedback matters to you and writing those needs on a piece of paper.  If you put those feelings out into the universe and let the world know what you need, it WILL find you.  And that is part of being fair to yourself.  Being fair to your partner comes as part and parcel of that relationship package.

It may seem trite, but if you can admit to yourself what is important to you, you have a much better chance of finding that partner that will possess all the things you need and will be fair in the love portion of your relationship as well as the war portion. Dialogue is crucial to a successful relationship.  That dialogue may be saturated with verbosity destined for a soap opera or it may be immersed in a battle fit for Judge Judy.  Regardless of the definition that banter needs to be suited to what you need in your life or it will never succeed as a relationship.

When you consider a potential partner, you need to assess what parts of love and what parts of war you require to make you content with that alliance. If you need that person to challenge your opinions, than find someone who will thrive on that debating process.  If you need to be supported and not challenged, than find a lover who will never second guess your intentions.  Ultimately you choose the person that is privileged enough to share your life.  Pick the piece that fits your puzzle.

What are the most important qualities you would put on your list?

Gnawing on my writing chops

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Writing, for me, is like dining on a fine meal.  I ease my way into the plate by starting with the vegetables and starches, but the true heart of my writing is in the protein.  It isn’t until I sink my teeth into the real meat of the dish that I truly get the taste for the potential of the story.  Lately I have been spending an inordinate amount of time being distracted by the side dishes and leaving no room for the most important part of the meal.

Blogging has become a very special part of my life and I look forward to writing every day and reading posts from others afflicted by the same passion.  I’ve been so wrapped up in the world of WordPress that I have all but abandoned the book that I had begun writing a while ago.  Until recently, I had great intentions of setting aside time to do nothing but continue the journey of the characters I created so long ago.  But that has finally changed.

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(image courtesy of Google)

With encouragement from fellow blogger Sage Doyle, we made a pact.  We vowed to set aside time two mornings a week and make the other accountable for getting up early and devoting time to write.  With coffee in hand, we check in with each other in the wee hours of dawn, bid each other adieu for a couple of hours and we write.  There is no TV, no noise, just caffeine induced creativity.  It’s been a fantastic way for me to shift focus back onto the book because I have that accountability, and it is truly inspiring me to dedicate that much-needed time to the WIP.  My characters are animated once again and brushing the dust from their clothing.  They have attitude and they now know there is a time and a place that they can bring it.

Fleeting ideas are now forming into meaningful sentences and paragraphs and 1,500 words magically transposed themselves onto the screen on Wednesday.  My plate is full and it’s time to gnaw on the chops of my writing as well as enjoying the appetizers.

What is your writing ritual?

I get by with a little help from my friends

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I have always been a very independent person. Even as a young child I would get angry when people tried to help me with things that were proving difficult for me. I seemed to get the sense, even at that tender stage of my life, that I was somehow failing if I couldn’t do it on my own.

Over the years I have been able to let some of that stubbornness go, not all of it, but enough to allow me to see how a helping hand can smooth the rough edges that I used to cut myself on repeatedly. As individuals, we are porous rocks. We are permeable and sometimes allow too many of the negative things in our life shape the person we become. We have bumps and impurities and we develop jagged edges to protect ourselves from unwanted encounters with anyone outside of our realm of comfort.

As we journey through life, we collect friends much like a beach collects grains of sand.  And akin to those grains of sand, our friends help smooth our rough edges.  They help transform that rough exterior and, with love and compassion, they help us to become more polished by eroding our jagged exterior and finding the beauty underneath.

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(image courtesy of Google)

My beach stretches for miles.   The many grains of sand that comprise my shore come in all shapes and sizes and although some stay close to me and some remain on the periphery of my seascape they are all equally important parts of that beach.  I try to take as many long walks as possible along my shorelines and appreciate each grain of friendship in my life.  And though I may not make it to the outer boundaries very often, know that each of you, near or far, have contributed to the beauty of my shoreline.