Revving my engine

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Writing a new book always makes me feel like I am a race car driver at the starting line just before the gun goes off. I’m constantly double checking everything is set to go before I press the gas pedal to the floor and hold on for dear life as my story careens around corners more quickly than I imagined. But as the exhaust sputters out of the tail pipe, waiting for the split second the flag will drop and the race will begin, I know this moment, this anticipatory moment, plays a crucial role in setting the tone for the whole race. I must be ready.

Much of my readiness comes from listening to my characters, but I must also do my due diligence to research anything that may affect the plausibility of the story. I’m sure I must be on a watch list somewhere after writing six novels about serial killers and researching a myriad number of ways to commit murder. But I am compelled to keep revving my engine and prepare for the race that is imminent.

I am in the proper position. My strategy is logged in my brain, and I am mentally prepared for the experience that is about to happen. The characters are using their prowess to push my foot down on the accelerator. Plumes of exhaust are rising above the back of the car. The voices in my head are loud. The familiar track lays ahead. The flag will soon drop, and the screech of my tires will recklessly send me into a world I have yet to discover. I am ready.

The Hardest Part

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Writing a novel is challenging. Creating charming characters and loathsome scoundrels that readers will connect with on more than one level is the true test of an author.

I thought the hardest part would be writing the book. Once I learned to listen to the voices in my head, and trust that they were portraying themselves honestly, that became the easiest part. I let them guide my fingers on the keyboard. I let them pull me into writing fugues that would last for hours. I let them introduce themselves to me and mesmerize me. I let them in.

Once the first draft was finished, I thought the hardest part would be the editing. Grueling hours were spent reading my first draft and thinking it was awful, but the souls of the characters made me feel things, and that is how writing should affect readers. After I got past the initial fear of editing, changes were made to make the story better, and I introduced my characters to the world.

I have told many people, the hardest part of being an author is marketing, which is true to a certain extent, but that was a white lie to conceal what I fear is truly the hardest part.

The absolute hardest part is believing that my writing, and my stories, are good enough. When you create something from nothing, and you send it out into the world for scrutiny, your biggest fear is that it will fail. I know my writing is not for everyone, but it could be everything to someone.

I have read books by successful authors that did not resonate with me at all. Whether the characters fell short, or the story line didn’t grab me, I now know that even the most auspicious authors will not be a five-star read for everyone who opens their books.

Now, the hardest part is wondering if someday I could be someone’s favorite author.

One name lit my brain on fire

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It’s been a while since I have been in this creative space. When the lodge I work at closes for the season, my first desire is to get back into the kitchen to make weekly freezer crockpot meals for our local food bank, and, most recently, soup for our local Hospice. It is a true passion of mine.

But my other passion crept stealthily back into my consciousness after a name appeared in a Facebook post and captured my attention. I have been mentally preparing to write a new novel this winter, and, although I have begun writing the first chapter, I had no idea where this story would go. I rely on my characters to lead that charge. Once I saw this name, I knew this person was going to be an integral part of the story.

I have five white boards in my living room, all dedicated to absorbing and displaying information that will become important in the stories I write. When I scribble my ideas onto the boards, I have no idea how or when the ideas will take shape, I only know they will be a key to developing the twists in the story.

When this name wormed itself into my brain, I stood up and, in a panic, looked for my dry erase markers. I had recently cleaned my living room and moved the markers to a new spot in my house and could not remember where I put them. I became the human equivalent of a Roomba, bouncing off furniture and changing my trajectory. I became so agitated that I finally went into the kitchen and spewed my thoughts onto the white board on my fridge that usually contains my shopping list.

I freed the beast. The name is catalogued and waiting to share their story. I’m not going to mention the name in this post because that would defeat the shocking twist at the end of the story, even though I currently have no idea what that twist will be. That is for the character to tell me and guide me along as they tell their story.

My brain is on fire. I don’t see sleep in my near future. And, as always, I give my nod to the writing Gods who are constantly sending me bits of information to pique my curiosity and keep me looking for those subtle messages they send in the strangest ways.

Darkness and humor

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At the end of another busy summer at the lodge, I came home today and relaxed by scrolling through the many posts I have published on this blog. I have participated in many writing challenges that have allowed me to hone my writing skills by inspiring me to create a full story in a certain number of words. This particular challenge was to write a 66-word story using the word fanatic. The following paragraph was my entry.

‘After hearing the word mispronounced, with the emphasis on the wrong syllable, she had an idea of what to do with the wretched people who would not allow her solace.  Fanatic – indeed they were.  They camped out in her driveway, followed her everywhere but, one by one, they became smaller in numbers.  Her “fan-attic”, mind you, was becoming rather full.  She hoped the smell would dissipate.’

I blame my brother for introducing me to the wonderful books of Dean Koontz in my teenage years. Dean’s books are filled with dark themes, but those books are lightened by an underlying humor that makes the badness easier to embrace. This is the style of book I love to read, so this became the style of book I wanted to write.

Although I have written and self-published six books, I still love a challenge. Earlier this year, I entered the NYC Micro-Fiction Writing Challenge to create a story in 250 words with a pre-assigned theme and a key phrase. I missed the top ten entries by one, placing first in the honorary mentions. I received some wonderful feedback from the judges and great encouragement to follow my passion to keep writing.

I will soon be editing the book I wrote last winter and I will forge ahead with the book I have just begun writing. Next year, two new books will be added to my growing list of novels, and I have ideas for so many more stories. Once the hard work of writing the books is complete, the harder work of marketing myself begins. Wish me luck!!

Writing little things to amuse myself

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We are now firmly entrenched in the nine weeks of summer chaos at the lodge, which means I do not have the cranial capacity to write meaningful sentences, or paragraphs, that could potentially become useful in any future books. I do, however, have the time to think about the novels I have written and remember a few of the phrases that make me laugh. But, if I am honest, those phrases will most likely go completely unnoticed by my readers.

The final book in The Relative Series has a few nuggets that make me giggle, but one keeps resurfacing in my brain and I laugh out loud every time I think of it.

A student goes missing from a university in London, England in the early 1900’s. The intense investigation begins and the main character, Adelstein Beckett, is questioned by the police. The missing girl’s name is Margaret Carillon. Her last name was chosen after a brief Google search, and I am laughing as I write this. A carillon is a musical instrument made of cast bronze bells. In my book, the police ask if Mr. Beckett is familiar with a student named Margaret Carillon. Addy’s response (I’m still giggling) is, “It rings a bell.”

I don’t know why it makes me laugh so much, but I am glad I can still find the enjoyment in the little bit of humour I wrote specifically for myself. There are other references to things that mean a great deal to me, and I am happy to leave those little bits of my life in my books. I can only hope friends and family may recognize the subtle references.

I miss writing. But while I spend the next 49 days enjoying spending time with our summer guests, my mind will still be focused on the books that are waiting to be written, the characters who are waiting to be defined, and the amusing lines I can add to my stories that will continue to make me laugh!

A fitting day for a book announcement

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If writing novels has taught me anything, I have learned the most important lesson for an author is to know creativity will find you when you are least expecting it. It will also pull away from you and hide in the furthest recesses of your mind when you need it the most. Being a woman of a certain age, when the dreaded menopause entered my life, it changed the trajectory of my writing habits. I will not go into details, but the six months I spent trying to finish the last book in my series was deeply affected the brunt of Mother Nature’s devious plot, and she derailed my plan to have the last book in my series published in 2024.

I rallied. I fought for the voices to find me. I spent sleepless nights longing to hear the voices that had once been such a part of my daily reality. But I was stymied. I stared at my keyboard. I stared at the ceiling. I stared at my white boards. And I stared at any stationary object, waiting for the words to come. But nothing came.

On the days leading up to today, something drastically changed. The second book in The Relative Series is called One Eleven, and the stars aligned to bring a change to my perspective. The remaining words I yearned for to finish this book series tentatively presented themselves, and I was able to put the finishing touches on Abbey in the Oakwood and reveal that the series is complete. Today is January 11th, One Eleven, and the relevance is more than significant, it is a full circle moment for me.

Soon, I will be able to post a picture of all six of the novels in The Relative Series, as well as a photo of the cover for Crossing The Lines, which is my first stand-alone novel. The salt of my erratic seas buoyed me up to meet the challenges I was meant to face, and I was eager to float in the water of the creativity I had been missing, and to truly absorb the tranquility I feel in those waters.

Life may be more than willing to throw us a few curveballs, but we must remain reticent in our stance. We need to look the pitcher of that curveball in the eye and let them know we have not given up. This is my journey as a writer. This is my platform to share my truth. And this is my moment to share my stories. Throw me what you got, but I will always come out swinging. Abbey in the Oakwood will be available on Amazon soon!!

Creativity in a different form

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I consider myself to be extremely fortunate. I am a person who can sit at a keyboard and create a fictional world by typing words onto a screen, giving me the chance to lose myself in a fabricated realm that comes from my imagination. To date, I have written seven novels, and I have enjoyed the exhilaration of allowing my characters to be able to speak through me to tell their stories.

Recently, a group of screenwriters came to our lodge for a writer’s conference. I was invited to sit in on their sessions, and it was an opportunity I will never forget. Currents of magnetic creativity sizzled in the air and slowly fell on me, like the first tentative drops in a rainstorm. Before I could brace myself, I was pummeled by the intensity of the storm of ideas that whirled in my mind. I was drowning in a new world of creativity, and I could only do my best to hold on until the tempest abated and I was able to gather my thoughts while the electric current still raced through my blood.

After listening to four sessions of the conference, and after pushing off the weighted blanked of convoluted emotions that held me fast to my space on the couch, my creative drive took a detour I was not expecting. The idea is daunting. The road ahead is filled with twists and turns I will have to navigate after studying a vastly different road map than I am used to, but I am up for the challenge.

My Google search history is now filled with pages to help me navigate the seas of writing a pilot for a television show. I find myself in unchartered lakes, still buoyant on a body of water with no discernable map, and no captain to dispel the myths of the waters I am about to enter. I am up for the challenge, but I know the water will be choppy. The characters are in my head, and they are whispering snippets of the tales they would like to tell. Their voices are tentative, but I have put my faith in them. They will find me. They will tell me who they are. And they will, in turn, put their faith in me to tell their stories.

The writing bug is back

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I hope you are all well and staying safe. I have not posted here as often as I would like, but for good reason. I am finally continuing the adventure of writing my second book.

My creativity from March to July was dismal, at best. I could not put together a string of words that gave me any sort of joy. My work in progress collected dust and my characters had self-isolated to the extent I feared they had taken reclusiveness to an award-winning level and would never return. I was devoid of ideas and was deeply saddened by the reality my prolific brain had atrophied.

But a series of chance discussions in August sparked my imagination and charged new life into the decaying cells in my brain. One by one, the neurons began to fire, and the ideas began to flow. The novel that had sat in solemn darkness with only 18,000 words is currently over 31,000 words in a span of two weeks, and the characters are now tripping over themselves to add their stories to the chapters of the adventure I am writing. This is a writer’s dream.

The inspirational voice that sounded was unexpected, but quickly presented ideas that got me excited. The stagnant pool in my head is now churning with ideas. I find myself at my laptop, writing for hours at a time and then having to physically readjust to the life I am living outside of the life I am creating in my story.

This is my bliss. This is the elusive happiness I struggled to find for four months before the muse came back. This is what being a writer is all about and I cannot tell you how excited I am to finish book number two and continue to write the following three in the series.

 

 

The elevator and the stress of knowing exactly what to say

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As a writer, I craft strings of words into sentences. Those sentences become paragraphs that eventually blend into chapters to create a novel. To say that process is easy is ridiculous. When I wrote “the end” after finishing my first book, I felt like I had nurtured the story from conception, and I had carried those words until I had given birth to a full manuscript. After I typed those two words, I wept.

I thought the most difficult part of writing a novel would be the writing itself. I was wrong. I have recently become much more aggressive in my plight to share my words. After chatting with a friend, and then a friend of that friend, I was gifted some great advice and given the task of coming up with an “elevator pitch” for my book. For those unfamiliar with an elevator pitch, it is basically condensing the eighty-three thousand words of my novel into a twenty-word pitch that could be quickly shared on an elevator and outline of the backbone of my book. It was an arduous task but one that made me strip back all the things that take place in the story to the reveal the true essence of what the book is about.

I was forced to forget about the characters and all the great plot twists I had woven into the fabric of the story. I was tasked with creating a succinct delivery of two lines that could pique the interest of someone who could potentially propel my first child into the private school that had a three-year wait list. It was hard. It was intimidating. But it was achievable.

After many drafts that were close to the mark, but not close enough, I managed to put together twenty-three words that truly convey the heart of my first book. I also created a similar pitch for the book I am currently writing as well as a pitch for the third book waiting to be written. The elevator may skip my floor a few times while I am waiting for the right door to open, but now I am confident I will know exactly what to say if given the opportunity.

 

 

 

Even my exhaustion was exhausted

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Frayed nerves aside, this summer was one for the books. From not knowing if I would even have a job this year to spending countless hours researching all the Covid protocols for opening a family resort, this summer presented a profusion of challenges. Thankfully, we rose to meet them all and we had an extremely successful and safe season.

When you work in a fast-paced job, there are few moments you can stop and realize how exhausted you have become. It is natural to wake up in the morning, jump into the deep end of the day and swim with all your might until your feet finally touch bottom in the shallow end, allowing you to tiptoe up the stairs to escape the water. This was the summer of 2020.

Our respite, this year, came much earlier than it has in past seasons and my body responded very quickly to the welcome down-time. And when I say responded very quickly, I mean I crashed. I went from going to bed long after midnight and waking at 5:00 am with a brain loaded with scenarios for the day, to sleeping for a solid twelve hours because I could not keep my eyes open much later than 7:30 pm.

But with the exhaustion came the overwhelming pride in knowing that we had not only survived the Covid summer of 2020, we had succeeded in providing a safe and enjoyable environment for our guests. Though they were aware of all of the protocols we had in place, they were still able to relax, enjoy the change of scenery from the concrete jungle to cottage country and forget the turmoil that still existed in the world outside of our resort bubble. In the end, it was a win-win.

My exhaustion has since been remedied. A few nights of sleeping like a teenager has brought me back to life. The Covid demon that stole my ability to write has been vanquished and my creative life is back on track, largely due to a great mentor I had the honor of sharing ideas with during the summer and who continues to fuel my desire to write.

What I have learned from this summer is that exhaustion cannot steal the best parts of you. It may have the power to suppress your joy, your tenacity and your creativity, but it does not have the power to fully take those things from you. You must weather the storm until the sky clears and have faith the best parts of you will eventually be restored.