Hurt people hurt people

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Life itself is a study of human behaviour.  On any given day we are subjected to a barrage of human emotions and we are forced to choose how we are affected by the cacophony of those desires, disturbances and agitations.

I have realized more and more as I spend time with people on a daily basis that our moods can blanket a crowd.  Our feelings can either stifle a room with their despondent nature or they can lift a room with their positivity.  And within those moments of truly understanding how moods can be like waves encroaching on a shore I have come to realize a very important truth – hurt people hurt people.  Whether it is their true intention to drown those of us on the shore with their pessimistic approach to life. it seems to assuage some of their unsettled feelings if they can make others feel that same sense of repugnant emotion.

waves on a shore

I can only understand this phenomenon because I approach it from the other side of the behavioural spectrum.  I am a very optimistic person and when life doles out those proverbial lemons I am never upset by the bitter gift.  But for a great number of people out there,those lemons don’t ever have the hope of representing anything as beautiful as what I envision them becoming.  There is no lemon meringue pie, no lemon curd trifle – they see them as nothing more than lemons – sour, porous sponges awaiting a multitude of bacteria to invade their outer skin.

When I am presented with that undue sense of adverse emotion I can only respond with empathy.  I know that the root of that misguided emotion has to do with something much deeper than anything I could ever comprehend by just being on the receiving end of their stinging barbs.   Those people who hurt so deeply want nothing more than for others to feel the pain that they are governed by so they don’t feel so alone in their misery.

Perhaps I have watched one too many crime dramas and understand the true affliction of unhappiness and ingrained sadness.  Or perhaps I have seen first-hand how every day life can try to drain every ounce of positivity we hold so dear.  Whatever the reason, I will always reserve the belief that people’s emotional lives are not linear.  One sudden event cannot bring the peace that they are seeking.  But if we can inject one small amount of good will, some semblance of positive energy into their lives, perhaps we can help eventually right their wrongs and swing the curve of energy in their lives back to the positive side.  Each of us has the chance to inspire goodness every day and who wouldn’t want to wield that power?  We may not be able to make them forget their sadness but, just maybe, we can help them see that within their past angst they can learn to create a new happiness and finally make something good out of those lemons.

“Though nothing can bring back the hour of the splendor in the grass, glory in the flower, we will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind” ~ William Wordsworth


					

I saw your car at the bar…

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I’m amazed and thrilled at how the times have changed.  Not so long ago there was a certain stigma attached to people who “had” to leave their car in the bar parking lot after a night of imbibing.  They were ridiculed by their friends for being so intoxicated that they had to leave their vehicle behind because they were too drunk to drive.

You could drive by the pub in the early hours of the morning and see people doing the “army crawl” across the lot, continually peering over their shoulder to see if they were being watched while they skulked across the pavement to retrieve their vehicle.

car in lot

Nowadays having the clear thought to leave your car behind is being worn like a badge of honor rather than a badge of shame. People that have the foresight to give up their keys and find an alternate way home should be seen as heroes.  If you have to say to yourself, “I’m fine”, you’re probably not fine enough to drive.

On the rare occasion that I go out for a  few drinks, I am one of those people who will put their keys aside and choose to be judged, if you will, for leaving my car in the parking lot and choosing to get a ride home.  Knowing that I choose to put other people’s safety ahead of my need to have my car in the driveway in the morning is a great feeling.  Even in a small town like the one I live in, choosing to do the right thing just feels right.  I may only encountered a deer or a wild turkey, or nothing at all, but I choose to not take the chance of something greater being in my path.

It takes just a split second to make that choice not to drive if you have been drinking. And it also takes a split second to be on the wrong side of the line and cost someone else time in the hospital or even worse.  Make the right decision – park your car for the night and get that safe ride home. I’d rather be the one the one they point the finger at to say “I saw your car at the bar” then to be the one that caused the accident that cost someone their life.

A wink and a smile

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I like the fact that simple things still make me smile.  There is something about a wink that lifts my spirits…..it makes me feel like that shared moment was just for me.  A wink can warm my soul and make me feel more connected to the person taking the time to make the gesture in the first place.

There is an inherent difference between the joking, fun wink with the silly face and the genuine ‘I feel a connection’ wink that is far more heart-felt. A wink can communicate an unspoken string of words that compels the person receiving it to smile in return.

A wink can have many underlying meanings.  A single wink can signify solidarity in a friendship, an implication of a closeness shared by two people.  It can represent a shared secret and that simple gesture can bond two people in a mischievous way by allowing them to communicate without words.

wink

Winking can also be used to convey approval, but the most widely sought after wink is the provocative wink that may affirm a more intimate connection.  The wink that makes you blush and feel giddy, makes your heart beat a little faster and catches your breath in your throat.  If the wink has the desired effect the somewhat shy, flirtatious smile from the person receiving the wink is the natural response.

Successful relationships of any nature are based on open dialogue, discussion and honesty.  But in today’s modern romance fewer words and a simple wink can go a long way.  😉

Happy Father’s Day – a message to Heaven

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My dad passed away over seven years ago.  I miss his smile, I miss his laugh and I miss the good times we used to have.  This is a poem I wrote when they dedicated a freshly planted tree and and a plaque to him in our new community park after his passing.  Happy Father’s Day to my dad and to all the dads out there.  I hope you are able to create memories with your kids that will last a lifetime.

new-52

(my dad)

~

We give these gifts of nature in your name,

To forever keep you near.

To take root in a place you kept close to your heart,

And represent the things you hold dear.

Your rock will remind us to always be strong,

And to remain solid in the lives we love.

And follow in the examples you gave us in life,

As you look on us from above.

Your tree will remind us to accept the changes,

Of seasons that come and go.

As the tree becomes bare at times in our life,

New leaves will blossom in time to show.

That nature is beautiful and life has a season,

but all things do come to an end.

And with each change and leaf that is lost,

Family and friendships help mend.

Branches sway in the winds of time,

And your whispers will be heard in the breeze.

Your memory lives on in the nature around us,

The air, the rocks, the trees.

When the stars align

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I am a big believer in fate and fortuitous moments.  The thought of serendipity, fortunate accidents, being a guiding force in my life gives cause for excitement to see what the day will bring.  Last week the stars lined up in perfect symmetry to make one of those moments happen, although the initial picture seemed grim.

stars align

(image credit: ehow.com)

All of the strategic planning I had done the week prior was time that could have been better spent.  The fickle Gods of Fate, the ones who should have been expelled from Celestial School, stuck their finger into my life and muddied the waters of my mirage in mere seconds. The murky vision left behind no longer resembled any of the best laid plans I had made.

As with all things, I adapted and forged ahead.  The moment that had been so anticipated was now just a vague memory of an eager smile.  The dirt began to settle at the bottom of my pond, but the reflection had been altered.

The serendipitous moment came out of nowhere.  The pieces of the puzzle I had begun creating the week before began to magically fall into their originally intended spaces and my smile was even wider.  This felt like a sign that those stars were meant to align to make that day happen.

These are the rare moments that I can truly treasure.  Those unanticipated moments that something steps in to change the course of our trajectory and helps us to follow the path that we wished to follow in the first place, but were thrown off course.  Thank you, serendipity.  Come and find me anytime.

Don’t hate the haters

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There will always be people out there with nothing but negative energy.  They hate their job, they hate where they live and they take that bitterness into every moment of their day.  They hate us for being positive.  So why should we reciprocate and send that hate back to them for being haters?

We can’t hate the haters.  Being around negative people makes me want to be even more positive than I already am.  It’s better to be hated for who you are instead of being loved for who you are not.  Nothing annoys a hater more than your forgiveness. They seek conflict and if they don’t get it, they will just hate you more.

hater

There is a fine balance in the world and we struggle to maintain that level with every ounce of positive energy we have.  Being around people who constantly have that dark cloud hovering over them motivates me to make a conscious effort to keep my mood light and happy.

I’m not going to lie and tell you I haven’t had moments of immense dislike within me, but I choose to rise above that venom that can penetrate the soul and find the lesson in the situation that caused that hatred in the first place.  My mother always said “it takes all kinds to make the world go round” and I now know what she meant.  If it weren’t for the haters, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate being the lovers.

We need to learn to rise above that feeling of hate and figure out what that anger is teaching us.  The haters will never have that perspective but we can motivate ourselves to see beyond the malevolence that bubbles within us and move beyond the hate.

Appreciate the haters for teaching us how much better it is to love and be happy.  Life is short – appreciate every second of it and don’t waste it being angry.  I don’t ever want to look back on my life and say I wasted a single moment dwelling on a feeling that didn’t make my life better.

Stairway to Heaven – Trifextra challenge

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“They said if I got closer to God, I would feel her with me.  I don’t feel her.”

She leaned in closer, “You don’t have to climb this high, she’s always with you.”

~

Inspired by this week’s Trifextra challenge:

For this weekend’s prompt we’re asking for exactly 33 words inspired by the following picture.  Good luck!

A million tiny pieces make up the bigger picture

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It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see – Thoreau

(image courtesy of dreamstime.com)

The panorama of our lives is directly proportionate to the depth of beauty we allow ourselves to ingest.  Our lives are like a Kaleidoscope pattern and the aesthetics of that pattern, although they evolve constantly, still enchant us and give us new perspective in each shape that is created.  The colors become richer, deeper in hue, and the beauty is carried over from one frame to the next.

The true beauty that we see does not come from looking at the picture as a whole, but by dissecting the pieces and finding the unique qualities that combine in those fragments to create that spectral portrait.   The attraction to the harmonious blend of colors cannot be appreciated without recognizing the million tiny little shards of color that make up the sum of all its parts.

Take the time to really see the beauty in your life.  Give yourself the extra time to really absorb what you see and look a little closer at all of the smaller parts that help create that bigger picture.  It would be sad to think that some of the muted colors were overlooked because you didn’t take the time to let your eyes focus on those million tiny little things.

With the stroke of a brush

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Mother Nature saw the blank canvas before her and reached for her brush. She used bare branches to frame the side of her masterpiece and dotted the sky with white to give the sky some depth. But she was unsatisfied with her work.

She let the bristles of her brush absorb some color and added the green of freshly awakened leaves.

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Her emotion felt one-dimensional. The canvas felt naked and she changed the structure of her portrait to frame it in a better way. The brush strokes continued and she stepped back to look at her work in progress.

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With genuine emotion and grace, she brought romance to the sky. Her brush stokes became more whimsical and the portrait danced and shifted before her.

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She made the blue a deeper hue and scattered the sky with feathers of white.

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After watching the relationship blossom between clouds and sky she felt she had created a true romance.

I’m not here to impress you

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I am me.  I have simple likes and dislikes (except for the occasional expensive bottle of wine). I live an honest life and I embrace the sense of humor, common sense, moderate intelligence and gift for the vernacular that was bestowed upon me.  I do not, nor will I ever use any of my personality traits to impress you.  But at the end of my journey through this life I hope that, with those traits, I will leave an impression upon you.

So often people spend so much of their time trying to impress the multitudes by being something they are not, nor will they ever be.  The downside to pretending that you are something so far removed from your reality is that eventually people see through the facade and directly into the real you.  Having the self-confidence to believe that you are truly unique is half the battle.  Having the fortitude to stand behind what you represent is the remaining half.

It takes little to no effort to be the person that you truly are and it takes a moderate resolution to negate any ill will towards people who do not embrace the qualities you possess. It takes even broader shoulders to not care.  If you have ever been told that you are one in a million, that is a gross understatement. There is no singular being on this grand planet that can ever take your place.

By living to impress others you do yourself an egregious injustice.  Trying to live up to the standards of others simply means you are ignoring your standards and your life is no longer about you.

Leave the impression on this world that you want to leave – not the impression you think others want you to leave.  Don’t lose yourself striving for their definition of perfection.  As you continue to embark on your personal journey you may find that your idea of perfection is much better.  The sense of accomplishment you achieve doing it your way will be that much more rewarding.