Category Archives: musings

The ripple effect

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(image credit: singerlearning.com)

Every action in life creates a ripple effect.  Whether that ripple effect is as visible to the naked eye as a drop of water in a pond or is so infinitesimal that it is unseen by the human eye there is always a reaction.  We learned it in Grade 11 Physics and the theory is as true today as it was then.   By now our interpretation of that same ripple effect may be broadened. It may not just encompass that drop of water but a drop of energy into the pool of existence.  The end result may dissipate in strength by the time it reaches its destination but it will still create waves on its way to the shore and alter the state of nature as we observe it.

For everything a human being says or does a ripple is created in the universe and that ripple, unbeknownst to you, may affect many more pools of reality than you originally intended.  It brings to mind the old adage – think before you speak.  You may never comprehend the consequence of your words and what reaction may be created, first or second-hand, but the words still have the power to change the tidal pool of various ponds.

Many of the problems we face are essentially man-made.  There are certainly elements out of our control but what if we put forth the effort to regain some of that control?  What could happen if we invested our time and energy in something positive and sent that energy out in waves?  A drop of human kindness or empathy can spread like the circles created by that original bead of water into the larger body of aquatic energy and send that same wave in directions you never thought possible.

Make the power of the ripple effect work for you…..send positive energy and watch it expand as the ripple gets larger on the water.  Know that the good energy you put out there will be shared by more than just the one person you bestowed that energy upon. Your positive energy may ripple into a pond of people who you didn’t even know existed but they will eventually benefit from that one good vibe that you put forth.

A simple smile or a kind word – send the ripple…..and you could potentially change the way those waves reach other shores of lakes that you never knew existed.

Journey back to me

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It was a collaboration week for me last week and this time I put some words together with TwinDaddy from Stuphblog.  I’m sure you all know him and if you don’t, you are missing out!!  Take a few minutes to check out his diversity and genuine talent.  Here is what we came up with.

Journey back to me

I put you up there

not knowing that you would fall.

The pulse of the rain matched my heart beat

as I watched you tumble from that pedestal I put you on.

When our love ended, you had further to fall.

 My illusion of you faded.

Your ruse succumbed to reality

as softly as a leaf falls from its tree.

That pedestal floated gently to the ground

when at last you unveiled your true self.

Although my heart was shattered,

it was easier for me to pick up the discarded pieces.

I recognized those parts of myself that I lost,

eviscerated pieces of my soul that you took.

I could finally begin to rebuild the person I was.

Piece by piece, brick by brick,

a new masterpiece painfully crafted.

A new me, a stronger me

able to withstand torrential emotions,

lithe enough to dodge abusive traps.

Your journey was a plunge to the death of the disguise.

My path was a quest to rebuild what was taken.

I emerge stronger, my scars will heal.

I take back what was rightfully mine.

I put myself up on that pedestal.

pedestal

Fragments of myself

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I have been reflecting a lot lately – looking back at the phases of my life where I defined myself in terms of my relationships with other people.  I even introduced myself with those titles.  I was always a daughter, a sister, a step-mom, a wife (now ex-wife) and it has only been recently that I have begun to describe myself in terms of who I really am – me.

All of those monikers are still a big part of who I am, or was, but they are only pieces of my bigger puzzle.  I have found new ways to describe myself that truly incorporate the essence of me and not just how my being relates to other people.  After years of missing the most integral part of who I am, I have found the proper words to define myself.

puzzle-pieces

(image credit: loridennis.com)

In the past, I had deconstructed myself and put smaller pieces of me into everyone else’s puzzle.  I was happy to be the daughter or the sister.  I didn’t feel lost nor did I feel any sense of being an incomplete person.  I merely slipped into the shadows of the lives around me.  I became an extension of them and the fault of that circumstance was all mine.

After many months of contemplative thought I have become aware of a new sense of self – a confidence to simply extend my hand and introduce myself with only my name.  There is no longer a follow-up delineation of how I relate to anyone other than myself.  I am, in the simplest of definitions, me.

Those fragments of myself constitute a big part of my life but they are no longer words I use to acquaint myself with anyone new in my life.  Eventually those pieces of my puzzle will fall into their rightful place but that place is not the definition of who I am.

The Whisper of Words

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I had the pleasure of sharing the creative process with a very talented writer and friend.  Sage Doyle and I put our heads together and this is the result.  If you had not been to his blog, please clink on the link here to check out his brilliance.

The Whisper of Words

Words are delivered in whispers

from poets who have gone long before,

channeling rhymes of wisdom

not to be dismissed as folklore.

So much to be said about words

as we speak of deprived clarity

and words restrained from whispers

disguise our private realities.

Tortured voices of writers,

struggling to capture their muse,

float like feathers in currents of air,

pain and reality infused.

The books become bitter corpses

with nothing but the scent

of musty pages and forgotten shelves

while they await the passing dissent.

The words will live long after

the pages no longer have form.

Those whispers of writers before us

take life and begin to transform.

Five Cold Toes (Trifextra Challenge)

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It lurks waiting for food,

never hiding behind a rock.

It has a certain penchant,

for neither pants nor frock.

It waits patiently in my dryer,

taking no more than a single sock.

socks

~

Written for the weekend Trifextra Challenge – It’s now time for some Trifextra fun. Thirty years ago, Roald Dahl published the book Dirty Beasts, a collection of poems for children about weird and wonderful animals. The last poem, however, is called The Tummy Beast about a boy who thinks there’s someone living in his belly. Your Trifextra challenge is to write 33 words on a beast in an unusual place. No swamps or forests or caves, we really want you to take your beast out of its comfort zone

Don’t rain on my parade

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You get the sensation – the sudden feeling of elation.  The world seems to rotate on an axis to simply line all of your stars in the perfect cosmic placement.  The sky seems to be saturated with a deeper hue of blue, the air seems crisper and more full of promise than you ever remember and you find yourself smiling for no particular reason.  Things are finally going your way.

And then it happens.  One person, and it only ever takes one, says something to make you doubt the happiness that you are feeling and that balloon of contentment bursts.  Random pieces of that blissful moment lay in tatters at your feet, the skies mottle and the heavens open up to rain on your parade.

It’s a perverse world we live in when we can let others dictate what should make us happy.  The moments that cause us to smile uncontrollably should be locked in a private vault, only to be shared with precious few that will understand the true feelings behind that blissful expression.   True happiness is a rare discovery and those that are fortunate to have found it should not have that perception marred by the opinions of anyone other than themselves.

Your steadfast belief in what truly makes you happy cannot be argued – by anyone.  It is your head, it is your heart and it is your soul that leads you to true euphoria.  Always carry an umbrella, and don’t let anyone rain on your parade.

Needles and the damage done – fiction

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I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice. ~excerpt from the Hippocratic Oath

***

Danny Jenkins could not shield his discomfort.  Lying on the gurney in the hospital hallway was exacerbating, even more so considering the paper-thin sheet was barely enough to disguise his torso from the sight line of people passing by.  His Intravenous line had almost been yanked out of his skin several times as crash carts and trauma teams raced to the Emergency room.  He was living in his own personal Hell.

Danny hated hospitals.  The mere fact that he agreed to this procedure was beyond his realm of comprehension but it was time to face reality.  At his last weigh in he had tipped the scales at 468 pounds and it was time to get his life back.  His doctor had pleaded with him to consider Gastric Bypass surgery and he knew it was the only way to forge ahead into the life he dreamed for himself.

After what seemed like an eternity, Danny was wheeled from the hallway into the operating room.  Faceless doctors and nurses shrouded by masks performed their macabre pre-surgery dance around him as monitors came to life and created a sinister orchestra of metallic sounds.  Voices abraded his ears as they went step by step through the procedure that was about to take place but Danny paid no attention.  He didn’t care.  He just wanted to go to sleep and wake up to his new beginning.  A warm sensation began to flood his veins and Danny slowly slipped into a reversible loss of consciousness.

***

He could hear the pinging of the machines as his eyelids fluttered open and the recovery room slowly swam into focus.  He anticipated mild to moderate discomfort in his abdominal cavity but he felt none.  The anesthesia must have been a more potent cocktail than he imagined.  He tried to adjust his position on the bed, fully expecting his stomach to refuse any agitation, and the movement was somewhat fluid and manageable.  Strangely, there was no soreness at all.  

The call button hung lifelessly on the bed rail and he repeatedly pushed the button until a nurse entered the room.  Before even engaging Danny in post-surgery banter she glanced at his hospital wrist-band, diligently checked all of the monitors and made notes in the chart that hung from the foot of his bed.  She lifted the bedding from the bottom of the bed, inexplicably checked his legs and tenderly replaced the covers.

“How are you feeling?”, she finally asked.

Danny spoke through his dry mouth, “I thought this would feel much worse.”

Her response baffled him.  “You will think you can feel your toes for a while.  They call it phantom pain.”

His look of complete bewilderment took her by surprise.  She guessed his silence was just his way of processing his loss.  She regarded the monitors one more time before leaving with the promise of returning with ice chips.

As the anesthesia began to clear his system he began to feel the after effects of the four-hour surgical procedure.  He could feel the dull ache beginning to throb but the pain was coming from his knee.  More than slightly disconcerted he reached for the call button once again.  This time a doctor entered and performed the same ritual with the monitors before beginning his communication.  Immersed in the chart in front of him, he absently began to speak.

“Okay Ms. Jenkins.  The procedure went extremely well and the lower part of your right leg was successfully amputated.  You will feel some discomfort but you have the ability to give yourself a dose of morphine……”.  His voice trailed off as he lifted his head and his vision of the patient in front of him finally swam into focus.  He looked directly at Danny and immediately re-examined the chart in front of him.  The doctor said nothing more.

Danny finally spoke,  “Did you just call me ‘Miss’ Jenkins?”

“Would you excuse me for just a moment?”, the doctor’s words were rushed as he left the room.  Danny incessantly pushed the call button with no response.

The doctor’s footsteps echoed through the hallway as he raced to the operating room.  As he pushed the doors open and entered the sterile room all eyes turned and fell heavily upon him.  Ms. Dani Jenkins lay sedated and poised for Gastric Bypass surgery.  Not one medical practitioner had commented on the unnecessary procedure but merely followed the direction on the chart – the wrong chart.

His words reverberated in the surgical chamber, “Look very closely at that medical chart.  You were about to make the second biggest mistake in the history of this hospital.”

Better than a thousand hollow words

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cartoon balloonWhen I entered into this vast blogosphere I had no idea what to expect.  There was no anticipation of anything other than freeing the words in my head but along the way something magical happened.  After a few early posts I began receiving comments.  Some of these comments made me struggle to understand their meaning but most of the words were encouraging and inspiring.  Others contradicted the original intention of my post but made me think of my words from another perspective and how a chain of ideas may always have a broken link.

I am a creature of strange habits.  I began to save the email notifications of the comments.  I was unsure of why at the time but, tonight as I scanned through the myriad of remarks, I realized what a profound effect those snippets of language have had on my journey as a writer.  I re-read some of my posts to connect the meaning of the comments and was affected by the growth of my friendships through those words.

I am fortunate to have met an extensive number of talented people through this blog – people who not only take the time to read my words, but assert their own opinions in agreement or defiance.  A simple word or two from my fellow bloggers holds great significance because it means they took the time to read what I had beaten into submission before posting.

Your comments somehow make the toil of writing so much more worthwhile.  I only hope I can return the favor and extend the same courtesy to you.  As the sun sets on the eve of my busy season, I look forward to the eventide of a new creative flow and more time to read and comment.

Until that clocks favors me with more hours in the day, please know that your words keep me honest, they keep me humble and they keep me energized.  Your few words mean more than a thousand hollow words from someone who will never understand this passion for idioms and your words drive me to sharpen my skills and hone my craft.

I am simply me

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I am me.  There is nothing more or less to me.  When you look at me you see me at face value and I am truly the sum of my parts.  I will never change to be anything other than who I am.

I-Am-Me.001

(image credit: sekutenetwork.com)

I have a great capacity to live my life the way I choose and no outside force will alter my path.  Some may not understand my journey but my path has been laid before me to follow and I do so willingly and without hesitation because this path is taken with the knowledge that I have carved it myself.  My road is created from a belief in who I am.  My road is paved with an understanding of my true identity and I am comfortable having my feet follow its winding path.

My road does not define me, I define it.  It is not sculpted from pettiness or jealousy, nor is it furrowed from frustration.  My road is simply an open path to my happiness and I follow it knowing that this is the journey I was meant to take.  It may not be the road chosen by many but this artery of life is meant for me.  It is unique and the fellow travelers I meet on this stretch of highway were meant to cross my path.

My journey to be me follows the beat of the incessant drumming only I can hear.  The mellifluous sounds keep my compass pointed in the right direction and I am happy to continue putting one foot in front of the other.  I will never again stray from my path because this passage allows me to be the truest version of myself.  It allows me to simply be me.

Ashes to ashes – Trifecta Challenge

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After surviving ten years of an emasculating marriage, Jake had reached his breaking point.  His friends made many jokes at his expense and he was tired of being bullied by everyone.

She would be expecting an extravagant anniversary present so, after extensive research, he booked a trip to the Babuyan Islands so she could bask in the raw beauty of nature.  As anticipated, she complained about the coach seats on the plane.  She complained about the oppressive humidity.  She profusely disapproved.

Her obituary was poignant and sad.  Who knew she would have met her fate in that volcanic chasm?

babuyan

(image credit: lastwildplace.ph)

Written for the Trifecta Challenge – This week we are giving you a page from the Oxford English Dictionary.  The ninety-ninth page, to be exact.  (Click to enlarge.)  From this page, you can choose any word, any definition, to use in your post.  (Please type your chosen word in bold, so we know.)  And instead of our typical 33-333 word limit, we are asking for 99 words exactly. – See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.8OvMgQVR.dpuf