Needle and the damage done

3 Comments

The Daily Prompt intrigued me today. Here is what they asked for: Draft a post with three parts, each unrelated to the other, but create a common thread between them by including the same item — an object, a symbol, a place — in each part.

I do love a challenge!!  (and after some technical difficulties and some lost data, we’re back!)

~

She squirmed before the needle even penetrated the roof of her mouth. The numbing sensation followed soon afterwards and so did the nitrous oxide making the lights of the dental office seem engaging and hypnotic. The doctors glove-rendered hands floated above her head like giant balloons in a parade. She was sure she should be more coherent during a routine check-up, but his words danced on her eardrums never fully penetrating her brain. Or at least that is what she thought. She awoke later with an acrid taste of metal in her mouth and was about to ask if she could rinse. The words wouldn’t come. Her instinct told her not to speak unless she was spoken to. It was that gut feeling that she would eventually comprehend and would ultimately save her life. He carelessly tossed the needle out the office window.

~

The dream was always the same. She was in her car and could see the police lined up ahead for a random spot check. She was usually more careful with her paraphernalia, but she was high and hadn’t really cared until the moment she saw the flashing lights – the beacon of her eventual doom. She reached for the scattered mess of bags and the cherished needle that was all too prevalent on the front seat. That was where she had first found it that afternoon after leaving her car windows open and that is where it lay now. Frantically she shoved the bags into any hiding spot she could find. As the cars moved forward beads of sweat trickled from her brow.  In her haste to hide the bags, she had taken her attention from the road and hit the car in front of her.  The needle was catapulted from the safety of the passenger seat and now lay in plain view on the floor.  The beam of the officer’s flashlight scanned the car and reflected off the metal that glinted in its light.  The dream became blurry after that.  She awoke feeling unrested and scanned her surroundings.  The iron bars on the door remained still and sturdy, holding her captive for what felt like an eternity.  Perhaps dreams, good or bad, really do come true.

~

This particular needle had plunged through tapestries for so long, it could probably work itself in and out of the canvas without the help of her gnarled and arthritic fingers.  She surveyed the room and the many framed works she had been creating for so long.  Each collection of carefully woven stitches served to paint a picture of a happy family.  Each of her four children’s birth dates and full given names lined the wall she looked at so lovingly and nine pillows adorned her furniture with the same information about her grandchildren.  She feverishly worked on number ten waiting for the phone call.  The shrill ring of the phone startled her, but the smile crept ceremoniously into the corners of her mouth as she reached for the phone.

“Mom, it’s twins.  A boy and a girl!”

She reached for a new canvas for the unexpected arrival and gently placed it beside the only canvas she had never finished – the one that belonged to the child she lost so long ago to a drug overdose.  Someday she would find the strength to forgive, but she had two new additions to focus on now.  The needle began to work its magic once more.

Things are not always what they seem – Trifecta post

19 Comments

From the outside, it would appear like she had it all together.  She radiated confidence.  Her smile was engaging and warm, but inside she was empty, void of feelings.  She was consumed by thoughts of him.  His voice echoed in her ears, his smile was ingrained in her mind and his touch still burned on her skin.

The icy hand of fate had reached down and snatched him far too early.  She stumbled through her days lost in a fog of memories.  She smelled his cologne in the air and heard his laughter rise and fall on the wind.

He wasn’t meant to be there.  He did it for her and when the stray bullet hit him, death was instantaneous.  The guilt she felt consumed her.  She put the last pill on her tongue and washed it down with the bitterness of his whisky.  To everyone else it would appear that she had taken her own life.  But she knew the truth.  He took it with him when he left first.

~

This was written for the Trifectra Challenge.  I don’t know why this story turned out to be so morbid – I will blame exhaustion.  I was even able to use appear twice!

On to the weekly, one-word prompt.  This week’s word is:

APPEAR
1a : to be or come in sight
b : to show up <appears promptly at eight each day>
2: to come formally before an authoritative body <must appear in court today>
3: to have an outward aspect : seem <appears happy enough>

With the stroke of a brush

15 Comments

Mother Nature saw the blank canvas before her and reached for her brush. She used bare branches to frame the side of her masterpiece and dotted the sky with white to give the sky some depth. But she was unsatisfied with her work.

She let the bristles of her brush absorb some color and added the green of freshly awakened leaves.

clouds 031

Her emotion felt one-dimensional. The canvas felt naked and she changed the structure of her portrait to frame it in a better way. The brush strokes continued and she stepped back to look at her work in progress.

clouds 028

With genuine emotion and grace, she brought romance to the sky. Her brush stokes became more whimsical and the portrait danced and shifted before her.

clouds 042

She made the blue a deeper hue and scattered the sky with feathers of white.

clouds 040

After watching the relationship blossom between clouds and sky she felt she had created a true romance.

Burning the candle at both ends

12 Comments

It begins innocently. We take on more and more with each passing day and begin burning that candle at both ends, always with the thought in mind that never the twain shall meet. But they do meet, and someone always gets burned.

burn the candle

In today’s economy and struggling markets people take on more burdens to cement themselves to their jobs. Fiscal responsibility tends to equate to physical and emotional exhaustion but we do what we have to do to secure our stability. It has become a dog-eat-dog existence.

Although we may see that candle as everlasting and continuous, we lose a little piece of our sanity with each drip of wax that is dispelled. A layer of our resolve, like the dripping wax, is melted away from us and collectively pooled into a well of fatigue. The moments of freedom we so carelessly took for granted are a thing of the past and the work day increases in its longevity.  As the winds of our reality fan the flames, the candle burns faster at both ends leaving us with more of a sense of panic and less candle to burn. The days seem longer, the nights seem shorter and we strive to hold fastidiously to our workaday reality.

It is our individual responsibility to snuff that secondary flame – to only allow ourselves one wick with which to burn our energy. If we allow others to dictate how much of the candle we burn at one time we may as well cast ourselves into the inferno and spontaneously combust.

The purpose of a candle is to burn for long periods of time, from one end only, and cast a glow of light that is warm and comforting. Burning that candle from both ends decreases the amount of enjoyment that candle is meant to purvey and exponentially diminishes the enjoyment that is elicited from that one single flame.

Strike your match carefully.  Predestine how much of that candle you are willing to ignite and at which pace you choose it to soften and dissipate.  If you light it sparingly, it will last much longer and the enjoyment of that flame will last that much longer.

Gone but not forgotten – Trifextra post

12 Comments

Confessions are never easy.  There were moments that I was happy you crossed over.  But then I remembered all of the good things about you and I cried because you passed too soon.

~

Written for the Trifextra Challenge :

On now to our weekend challenge.  This weekend we are asking for a thirty-three word confession.  You’re free to write non-fiction or fiction or to blur the lines in between.  We just encourage you to get creative and give us your best.

This weekend’s challenge is community judged.

  • For the 14 hours following the close of the challenge, voting will be enabled on links.
  • In order to vote, return to this post where stars will appear next to each link.  To vote, simply click the star that corresponds with your favorite post.
  • You can vote for your top three favorite posts.
  • Voting is open to everyone. Encourage your friends to vote for you, if you wish.

It’s not about how you see yourself dying, it’s about how you see yourself living

5 Comments

Most days I find Facebook too full of judgement, too saturated with over-sharing and too congested with an exaggerated amount of requests to play something called Farmville.   But on rare occasions, things are shared that make me glad I have not deleted my account.  The video below made me think a lot about how I am living my life and it made me cry.  The tears that stained my cheeks were a mixture of sadness for the loss of such a beautiful life and tears of joy for being able to have a brief glimpse into the soul of such a beautiful child.

Please take the 20 minutes to watch the story of Zach Sobiech.  It will make the subject line of this post stand out in the forefront of your mind and make me you rethink how you live your life each day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjKgV65fpo

Cell phone etiquette

24 Comments

The world of technology has taken over our lives.  We rely so much on computers and cell phones to communicate that it is affecting the way we relate to others.  And although our reliance on social media can do a lot to boost our self-esteem, it does affect the way we interact with each other on a more personal level.

Everywhere you turn now people are visibly attached to their cell phones and their tablets.  Although they allow us to maintain better contact with our families and help us find long-lost friends and acquaintances they seem to be setting us back in terms of our social skills.  Many times during conversations people will hear the magical sound of their cell phone alerting them to a call or text and, without thinking, reach for that phone and forget that they are physically interfacing with another human being.  With the touch of a button we make contact with others distant from us and forget the art of conversation that can be utilized with the people right in front of us.

cell phone

I was recently made aware of a new fad – groups of people who are going out for dinner agree to put their cell phones in the middle of the table.  (the smart ones turn them off)  The first person to reach for the phone during the meal has to pick up the tab.  What a great trend to follow or to start in your own community of friends.

Imagine the amount of time you could actually spend with your friends and loved ones being engaged and truly invested in that relationship instead of worrying about the text messages you may be missing.  The text messages will always be there for you to read but your friends may not wait around for you to give them the attention they deserve face to face.

Getting back my sense of self

8 Comments

For the first time in a long time I walked through my house tonight and found I was smiling.  I wasn’t reliving a memory or anticipating an upcoming event, I was just….happy.

I hadn’t realized how much of my happiness had been consumed by reality until the corners of my lips were turned upright for no particular reason.  After all the tension I have experienced over the last couple of months, I was sure those muscles had atrophied and would require intense physiotherapy to get the full range of motion to return.  The degeneration of joy was paralyzing.

But I am once again finding beauty in my surroundings because stress no longer abrades my senses.  The scent of lilacs permeates my nose as soon as I step outside and the sounds of the creatures of the night soothe me with their harmonic tones.  And after many nights of being unaware of the true depth of my melancholy, I am now able to appreciate their symphony and realize that my true bliss has returned.

My words flow more freely now because they are no longer trapped in a smoldering vat of fermenting unrest.  My brain is at ease and my creativity flows in small streams until it culminates at the mouth of the river.  Those ideas trickle along the banks of my mind.  Each drop of inspiration is collected, it pools and eddies at the precipice until the words spill uncontrollably over the crest of rock and create a waterfall of language and expression.  That waterfall is my release.  That rapid flow of ideas is my heaven.

??????????????

(image credit: commons.wikimedia.org)

I have slowly re-acquainted myself with the things that I hold dear.  I have learned to let go of the stress and spend time each day making new memories and not just relying on recollections of my past to satiate my need for happy thoughts.  I have regained my inner compass.  I have reclaimed my sense of self.

Feeling up with some down time

49 Comments

Yesterday I was able to leave work early and spend some much-needed time to myself.  While preparing to leave my old job and begin the journey of starting a new job, I worked 18 days straight and had little time to just relax and breath.

I performed the perfunctory task of cleaning my house, I visited my mom and I went out for dinner with a friend.  It was a great afternoon and once I was ensconced in the comfort of my living room, Mother Nature provided a great show of pyrotechnics last night for my amusement.  I lit the candles, extinguished the lights and let the smooth harmonic blend of The Tenors wash over me as I watched the lightning dance outside my window.

lightning_strike

(image credit: dottech.org)

I had a nice leisurely morning pulling myself from under the covers much later than usual and enjoyed a few cups of the “liquid of the Gods” known as coffee.  My laptop welcomed me with open arms and we spent a few hours writing together.

It amazes me that a few simple hours spent away from the constraints of reality can make such a difference.  Although I am truly a ‘people person’, I enjoy my solitude immensely.  I am ready to tackle the next few days remembering the cherished moments I just spent with my puppy dog with no outside distractions until we can close the door on the world once more and take those fleeting minutes to just breathe.

Doing the right thing doesn’t always feel right

24 Comments

The hardest part of playing the role of both child and advocate is making the decisions that you know are the right thing to do, but they are the most difficult decisions to follow through.

I have written recently about my mom’s health issues and having to move her out of her home into a Retirement / Assisted Living Facility and clean the house of her belongings.  She seems to be content where she is, but she misses her pets immensely.  The decision to surrender her cats had to be done, but not without some hardship and second guessing along the way.   The place my mom is living now does allow pets, but we are not sure if this is going to be the place my mom is able to stay.

Trying to explain to my mother why she cannot get another cat at the moment is heart-breaking.  She would love to have a companion, but I would hate to see her go through the process of having to give up another pet if she has to move.  Sure, we are absolutely doing the right thing but it feels awful.

no_cats_allowed_sign

(image credit: factorydirectcraft.com)

I don’t have children of my own so I can only imagine the struggles parents go through having to do what’s best for their children and only hoping that someday those children will understand.  I’m not sure if my mom will ever agree with some of the decisions we have recently made on her behalf.  I can only hope she remains as happy as she can and some day, years from now, when she joins my father in Heaven she will look back on her life and know we are only doing what’s right for her.  I just wish it felt better doing it.