Category Archives: happiness

A healthy debate to interpretate

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Spelling mistake aside (because it is an inside joke), the subject line of this post refers, in both parts, to a lively conversation I was a part of at the dinner table last night.  The age-old debate of whether men and women can really be friends circled around the table and the argument became quite animated.  There was a noticeable divide between those who thought men and women could be friends and those who thought the dynamic of sexual, or chemical, energy disrupted any potential of a platonic relationship.

just-friends

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Since I have many cohorts of the male persuasion (sans benefits), I was vehemently arguing the fact that men and women can, indeed, be friends.  And now, as I sit in my darkened living room writing this post, it is difficult to have a Star Trek movie in the background talking about “Nebular penetration” as I argue for the chastity of an idealistic friendship. However, it is a fitting continuation of my earlier conversation.

Perhaps I am slightly obtuse when it comes to reading signals, but I am relatively confident that I am able to decipher whether or not a man has intentions beyond a nonphysical affiliation.  I have always had male friends and I have never had the slightest doubt that those male friends see me as just that, a friend.  But some of my litigious dinner companions made every effort to dissuade me.

Our conversation became heated at times but we continued to volley the notion of platonic friendships back and forth until the strings on our metaphorical racquets unraveled.  We eventually had to concede the match and nobody was declared the winner.

I came home with the same point of view I had during our impassioned debate.  I truly believe that men and women can be friends – no strings, no ulterior motives, no hidden agendas.  Convincing the others involved in that discussion may be a no-win situation but I will continue to maintain my opinion and defend it with all the intensity I can muster.

So now, I have to ask…..where do you stand on this debate?  Can men and women just be friends?

 

 

There’s a nap for that

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Most days our time is spent on routine tasks.  We get up, we have coffee, we prepare ourselves (and possibly a family) for the approaching day and we leave the house, or not, with confidence as we anticipate the next eight to twelve hours of our lives.  It seems like a standard operating procedure.

But life has a way of throwing a myriad number of curve balls into our otherwise predictable strike zone.  It can be exhausting trying to anticipate what is coming next.  By 3:00 pm, the wall looms directly ahead and we plow right into it.

Statue_of_the_Tired_Man

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There is much to be said for getting to the point in your life that admitting an afternoon nap is acceptable.  It doesn’t make us old, it makes us smart.  If you can afford yourself a bit of a break, a 2o-minute power snooze has been proven to boost your energy level, your cognitive skills, your creativity and your memory.

So the next time your boss catches you catching some z’s at your desk, you can simply tell that executive figure that you are clearly increasing your productivity in the workplace.

How do you feel about an afternoon siesta?

 

Spark to a flame

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fire butterfly

My curiosity ignites.

My burning question is nourished

purely by the fuel of my deep desire

to know,

to experience,

to feel the brush of romance

on the canvas that is my skin.

My heart burns

with a yearning

to find you.

~~

microstories261

(image credit)

Time is not linear

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I remember the phone call like it was yesterday.  My brother called from Vancouver in the wee hours of the morning to tell me that I was an aunt and my nephew had safely entered the world.  I was living in Ontario and felt like I was a world away but somehow felt like I was in the room with him at the same time.   That phone call came 16 years ago.

Tonight our family gathered at my nephew’s restaurant of choice to not only celebrate the auspicious occasion of his 16th birthday but also the successful completion of level one of our graduated licensing system for new drivers.  Yes, local friends stay off the sidewalks, my nephew is behind the wheel.

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It was a numbing experience watching their familiar vehicle turn onto the road that led to the restaurant and not see my sister-in-law behind the wheel.  TJ held the very proper pose of hands at 10 and 2 and didn’t even flinch when his dad lobbed a snowball at the car and hit it squarely in the middle of the driver’s door.  You could feel the pride, and some relief, radiating from his 16-year-old face as he crossed the parking lot.

As I write this post, their family has returned home and, at his request, TJ is out driving around our small town taking his dog “Zoey Hot Wheels” for a car ride.  I’m sure it is the first of many trips they will share with him behind the wheel and I couldn’t feel more proud of his smooth transition into the next phase of his life.   Happy birthday Buddy!!

 

 

Optimism is contagious

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I’ll admit I stole my subject line from a Maxwell House commercial but it is an adage that resonates with me.  One of my goals for the year 2016 was to start every day with a positive attitude.  It’s going to end as well as it began – successfully optimistic.  Some days are more difficult than others to maintain that joyful outlook but, even under the stress that lurks in the dark corners, I still look for and embrace that light of optimism.

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It’s really not difficult waking content and rising to meet the morning when the light streams through my curtain-free window and falls on the face of my dog.  She is notably glad to see me come back into consciousness and her smile is the first breath of happiness I inhale each morning.  The smell of Hazelnut Vanilla coffee brewing is a vital, but distant, second.

Attitudes are contagious and energy can be vicariously passed, similar to an unseen as a spirit moving through the shadows, and the vital force it leaves behind is just as palpable.  It is constantly but invisibly lingering in the air and the mood that is portrayed is unconsciously absorbed by others.  I know how much a person with a negative energy can affect me and I want to achieve the polar opposite.

Wouldn’t it be great to feel that optimism and zest for life is contagious and it is passed unwittingly to the people you interact with on a daily basis?  They may not even realize the source of their uplifted spirit but their newly found smile has the potential to create a ripple effect.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.  ~Winston Churchill

One voice above the crowd

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Awesome-Quotes-3

I was in a funk, a genuine textbook-defined funk, and I had given myself permission to wallow in it.  I disregarded my routinely sage advice to take it one breath at a time.  I blatantly ignored my history of dealing with things head on and I became a turtle, pulling my head into my shell and hoping the scenery would somehow look different the next time my face emerged from that shell.

But each time I gave myself the slightest courage to see if the landscape of my reality had changed, my eyes blurred and my vision became marred by a new set of tears. I promptly pulled myself back in to my shell.

Friends and family picked up on the noticeable difference in the cadence of my voice.  I became lost in a miserable state of unhappiness and my writing began to reflect my mood.  Fellow bloggers also left encouraging messages in the comments of my blogs but, although I knew I was being irrational, I couldn’t stop crying.

Life has a funny way of interjecting when it needs to bring something to your attention.  My funk may have been based on something that could be defined as trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it really affected me to the point of becoming consumed with pessimistic thoughts that I can usually push aside with ease.

I knew I couldn’t change the cards I had been dealt, but one particular comment from a fellow blogger really made me rethink how my hand could play out.  I read it a few times until I was able to fully process the message and understand its true significance.

In my melancholy, I had forgotten to give equal value to the potential of a positive outcome as opposed to focusing solely on the negative.  I had all but conceded to the loss without allowing myself a chance for a win.

One comment, from someone I have never met in person, changed my outlook.  I am no longer dwelling on what could be an unfavorable outcome but giving every hope that something fantastic may be just around the corner.  Since I cannot predict the future, I can only wait to see what the outcome will be but at least, now, I wait with much more hope than I had before.

 

A single wish

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The glow burned my eyes but I couldn’t take my gaze from its mesmerizing emanation.  It stood like a sentinel, guarding my emotion.  Although it was a single flame, that lone candle represented the one person I wished was here with me.

microstories260

Felonious felines

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If the pungent stench hadn’t first assaulted my senses, the tiny footprints in the remnants of snow on my deck would have led me to believe that a small feline intruder had been in my entrance way and left its fluidic calling card.

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I am no stranger to the repugnant smell of cat pee.  I have suffered before and was doing it again as the essence of the foul beast breached the sanctity of my nasal passages and made its way into my throat.  Before my morning vision had even the slightest chance of coming into focus the very solemnity of my home, as well as my olfactory nerves, had been violated by my neighbor’s cat.

Now, before you judge me on the basis of these words, I do not dislike cats.  I appreciate their ability to be detached yet affectionate.  I admire their commitment to their sense of self.  And I applaud their propensity to be indifferent and intrigued at the same time.

That being said, I do take offence to a four-legged creature of the non-canine variety befouling a room in which it has no business being present.  Cats do not, and will not, live in my home.  Allergic reactions aside, I have a colored past with these anciently domesticated beings and, in putting my differences aside, I have come to the realization that we make better strangers than friends.

I have repeatedly admonished my dog for wanting to run into the neighbor’s yard when she sees this territorial interloper, but I have since rethought my initial position.  My dog is merely protecting the rightful place that is her shelter.  She is simply defending her home against enemies, feral or domestic.  And she is attempting to preserve my nose from the offensive fragrance of future feline fearlessness.

Through the looking glass

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I generally have a good handle on my emotions but circumstances of late have made that handle much more difficult to grasp.  I feel like I have boarded a train that has sped into a murky tunnel and I have no idea what awaits me on the other side.  Perhaps that is the most difficult part for me since I usually have a well thought out plan and I feel, now, like I am slightly clueless.

Alice had the benefit of being able to see beyond the glass into the world she was able to observe.  Her situation gave her the advantage of knowing what awaited her on the other side and any foresight into a situation is welcomed knowledge.

It is difficult, having moved forward into that mirror, feeling gravity pulling me in the rest of the way and, blindly assuming that the other side will be as beautiful as it is in my dreams.

I can only continue through that looking glass and hope that my intuition and my gut are leading me the right way and that the fate I am wishing for awaits me on the other side.

alice

‎”Alice through the Looking Glass” Sculpture located in Guildford’s Castle Grounds.