Category Archives: happiness

A morning of bliss

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I am seated comfortably on my deck, coffee in wait, watching the day come to life. I have no Internet connection but I am still compelled to write. My iPhone is lending its support while I enjoy the only bearable temperature the day will afford.

Summer has arrived with a vengeance. Working at a resort on the water allows me to embrace the cool breezes that surf the top of the water but today I am home. Today I am far removed from those refreshing winds and bracing myself for the scorching temperatures that are predicted to reach 37 degrees Celsius with no reprieve from a breeze. (for my American friends – that equates to effing HOT!!)

The lawn is cut, the umbrella is up and the air conditioner is back in its rightful place in my window. Let the day off begin.

Learning from Ancient Wisdom

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Buddha said it best – “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful”.

Truer words could not have been spoken. How can we expect success if we cannot find joy in what we are doing? Whether it be our career or our personal lives, for us to be truly successful in any relationship we must be authentically satisfied with the path we have chosen. We must relish every part of our contentment and let that euphoria help pave the path of our success.

We will never attain great success if we cannot first achieve that absolute feeling of satisfaction that comes with doing something we love to do. So many go through the motions of a daily routine just to get to the end of their day. It is the few and far between that thrive in their lives because they truly love where they are and what they are doing.

I feel that success on many levels. I am, maybe for the first time in a long time, truly happy with my life. I am independent, I am good at my job and love being there and I have many family and friends that are there to remind me of my happiness if I temporarily falter from my bliss. Sure there are many days that do not go as well as intended, but at the end of those days I am still able to see beyond the lower points and know that tomorrow holds the hope of being better.

I sincerely love what I do. My job allows me the opportunity to meet many new people and I crave those relationships. And my writing affords me the freedom to express myself in ways that I cannot during my work day. I have the best of both of my worlds.

My genuine happiness is composed of all of the aspects of my life. And my true success is the fact that I can embrace that happiness and excel at what I do. Regardless of others opinions of my achievements, my happiness remains intact and my prosperity breathes new life every day.

Find your happiness. Within that feeling of contentment lies the path to your true success.

The Write Way – Trifextra Challenge

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  • Silence
  • Inspiration
  • Release

Written for the weekend Trifecta Challenge: One of our editors was recently lucky enough to slowly roast on a bouncy, mechanical floor thisclose to nearly 900 other Portlanders for a reading (of the third chapter of his new book, The Ocean at the End of the Lane) and subsequent Q&A by Neil Gaiman.  One of the questions asked of him was, “Can you tell us your writing process in three words?”  He replied, “Glare.  Drink tea.”

This weekend, we’re asking for you to sum up your own process with just three little words.  Give us dry wit, pathos or otherwise.  And remember, we like your blood on the page.  Put it there. – See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.9taUYsHh.dpuf

I almost mastered nothingness

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Everyone is entitled to have a lazy day every once in a while.  It recharges our batteries and gives us a much-needed to chance to store up the energy needed to face the days that follow it. Sometimes we just feel unproductive and unmotivated – and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, within reason. If your lazy days start turning into lazy weeks, you may want to rethink your strategy.

I used to have a real problem letting myself sit and do nothing. My brain always kicked into the guilt gear and I was forced to get off the couch and do all the things that were nagging at me from the back of my cranium.  I’m over that.  I am now able to embrace the feeling of not accomplishing a single thing.  There certainly are moments of boredom encompassed in that lazy day, but if I take that moment to remember the fast pace of any other day, that boredom is replaced by bliss.

(image credit: Bill Watterson)

The lazy day becomes about taking time for me and not stressing myself out if the laundry doesn’t get sorted or the dust accumulates for one more day.  Although today was not a completely lazy day.  After giving myself permission to actually sleep in, I did clean the house and I vacuumed the inordinate amount of dog hair from my carpet that seems to increase exponentially!!  But the rest of it was spent in a suspended state of oblivion…..and it was just what the doctor ordered.  I focused on what I needed instead of what needed to be done.

Those rest of those chores will still be beckoning  me tomorrow, but today the deck furniture and the couch won the argument.  Today is about my three favorite “R” activities – reading, red wine and regurgitating the countless words that whirl around in my brain. (there may be a movie thrown in for good measure)

I hope you all take the time to let yourself breathe – spend a lazy day doing the little things that make you feel human again.  And if you have any suggestions for things to do on that day of nothingness…..feel free to send along some suggestions…..I’m always looking for new ways to achieve lethargy!!

When worlds collide

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I have a friend, not the imaginary kind that you invent to talk about yourself, but a real friend who has recently begun dipping her toes back into the dating pool after leaving a bad relationship.  Trust me, if I were talking about myself I would be splashing the headlines of this blog with the water from that pool.

Like all swimmers, she has been testing out different areas of the dating pool, attempting alternate swimming strokes to see which swim is most comfortable for her.  Recently the seemingly Olympic sized swimming pool shrunk down into an inflatable pool you would find on any front lawn and a few worlds collided in the process.

pool

(image credit: xminflatable.com)

When you live in a small town, anonymity and dating do not go hand in hand.  Even if you find a secluded spot to spend some time getting to know each other, inevitably someone you know will be a witness to that moment and your secret rendezvous is no longer a secret.

She has been casually dating a few men sporadically and had accepted an offer to go out for drinks from a new potential suitor.  Being the aforementioned small town, we really have only one restaurant / bar that is a desired spot to take a date.  They decided to begin with a  cocktail on the outside deck, shades on, and enjoy the view of the water but her view suddenly shifted to one of her other swimming partners on the deck with a new date of his own.  The waters may have churned momentarily but her date was moved indoors for dinner and avoided any further discomfort.

On the way to the table she noticed a familiar face seated at the bar.  Another swimmer from her dating pool was deeply ensconced in a conversation on a date of his own as well.  Worlds collided again and the size of the dating pool had just become a Dixie cup!  Like mature adults, each of them went on with their dates never revealing that anything was strange about the three of them being in the same restaurant, each on separate dates.

Being in the dating pool is a challenge.  You can tread water for great lengths of time before encountering another swimmer or the pool can immediately be inundated with other swimmers also testing the waters.  There is no judgement, only curiosity.  There are no rules only requests for safety and respecting the others swimming space.  I admire her for being in that pool and can only hope she will find the one swimmer that will match her speed and agility throughout her life!

Hurt people hurt people

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Life itself is a study of human behaviour.  On any given day we are subjected to a barrage of human emotions and we are forced to choose how we are affected by the cacophony of those desires, disturbances and agitations.

I have realized more and more as I spend time with people on a daily basis that our moods can blanket a crowd.  Our feelings can either stifle a room with their despondent nature or they can lift a room with their positivity.  And within those moments of truly understanding how moods can be like waves encroaching on a shore I have come to realize a very important truth – hurt people hurt people.  Whether it is their true intention to drown those of us on the shore with their pessimistic approach to life. it seems to assuage some of their unsettled feelings if they can make others feel that same sense of repugnant emotion.

waves on a shore

I can only understand this phenomenon because I approach it from the other side of the behavioural spectrum.  I am a very optimistic person and when life doles out those proverbial lemons I am never upset by the bitter gift.  But for a great number of people out there,those lemons don’t ever have the hope of representing anything as beautiful as what I envision them becoming.  There is no lemon meringue pie, no lemon curd trifle – they see them as nothing more than lemons – sour, porous sponges awaiting a multitude of bacteria to invade their outer skin.

When I am presented with that undue sense of adverse emotion I can only respond with empathy.  I know that the root of that misguided emotion has to do with something much deeper than anything I could ever comprehend by just being on the receiving end of their stinging barbs.   Those people who hurt so deeply want nothing more than for others to feel the pain that they are governed by so they don’t feel so alone in their misery.

Perhaps I have watched one too many crime dramas and understand the true affliction of unhappiness and ingrained sadness.  Or perhaps I have seen first-hand how every day life can try to drain every ounce of positivity we hold so dear.  Whatever the reason, I will always reserve the belief that people’s emotional lives are not linear.  One sudden event cannot bring the peace that they are seeking.  But if we can inject one small amount of good will, some semblance of positive energy into their lives, perhaps we can help eventually right their wrongs and swing the curve of energy in their lives back to the positive side.  Each of us has the chance to inspire goodness every day and who wouldn’t want to wield that power?  We may not be able to make them forget their sadness but, just maybe, we can help them see that within their past angst they can learn to create a new happiness and finally make something good out of those lemons.

“Though nothing can bring back the hour of the splendor in the grass, glory in the flower, we will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind” ~ William Wordsworth


					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					Feeding the right wolf
				

			
							
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It never ceases to amaze me when people make gross assumptions about single people and feel that they must be missing something in their lives.  Not all single people are lonely.  Just as not all people who are taken are in love.  Some things we see on our own would completely escape our attention if we were with others.


Single is not a status.  I am forging through this life unattached again by choice.  That decision took some deep soul-searching on my part but in the end it was the best decision I have made in a long time.  My willingness to be on my own again only solidified the fact that I am strong enough to live and thrive without having to depend on another person to perpetuate my happiness.  There were days during my marriage that I felt more alone than I do now that I live on my own again.


For some reason my change in marital status brought to mind the story of the elderly Cherokee speaking to his grandson and explaining about the two wolves that reside within each of us.  One is evil.  It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment and lies.  The other is good.  It is love, kindness, humility, hope, empathy and truth.  When the boy questions the grandfather as to which wolf wins, the grandfather simply replies, “the one you feed”.


two-wolves


By choosing to end my relationship and live on my terms I chose to feed the good wolf.  Once again I feel surrounded by a sense of peace that I have not enjoyed in a while.  I do not hold any ill will towards my ex whatsoever but he was the oil to my water.  He had a heaviness in his emotions that felt oppressive and suffocating and it began to change the person I had been.  We make much better friends than we ever did marital partners.  By choosing to untangle the knot of our union I gave myself permission to begin a new journey.  I allowed myself to delve further into my psyche than I had ever done previously and really focus my attention on who I really am and what I really want.


On that journey I have discovered many new things about myself as well as rediscovering some things that have been long since buried.  I have gained a confidence that I never knew I had and have developed a new respect for the strength I possessed to make that great leap of faith to cut the ties that bound me to the person I had become.  I now feel weightless.  Some days I wish I could truly float out of my body just to gain more perspective and give myself a thumbs up.


Single is not lonely.  Single is exploration.   Single is permission to simply be.  It is not a sentence but a rare opportunity to give ourselves the chance to really get to know who we truly are, warts and all, and to really embrace the qualities that make us unique.


The wind at my back is my yesterdays tickling my skin with the promise of today and gently pushing me into tomorrow.  Whether I enter my tomorrows alone or with another my contentment will be at the forefront of the decisions I make.  If my choice is to be single, I will never be lonely.

					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					No more wrinkles for this girl
				

			
							
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After beginning what I thought was going  to be a rather uneventful day off, I received the news that I had been Freshly Pressed!!  I’ve been dabbling in micro-fiction and poetry, and pouring my heart into some of my posts hoping to connect on a deep level with people and my effort has been rewarded with a great pat on the back.  Thank you WordPress for giving us the freedom to be ourselves and explore our inner voices without judgement.  And thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet some great friends along the way!!

					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					A Broken Heart
				

			
							
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There are three things I know about a broken heart.  The first is it will heal.  The second is it will heal.  The third is it will heal.


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Written for the weekend Trifextra challenge:  This weekend we are asking you to play around with the following quote:


Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind. –Henry James


We want you to follow the same general structure of the above quote.  Feel free to change the subject–tell us what’s important about coffee or houseplants or whatever you’d like.  Or else change up the modifier–instead of telling us what’s important, tell us what’s sexy or overrated or pernicious.  Your last three lines should closely echo James’s, giving us the same answer three times. – See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.7JTIHbF7.dpuf

					

		
					
			




				
					


	

		

							

					The countdown begins
				

			
							
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“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”


~ H.H. The Dalai Lama


It never ceases to amaze me.  Human behavior, whether good or bad, has enough energy to directly affect our own sense of self.  I am a calm person.  I have always had a great sense of peace about me and am quick to find the good in situations and in people.  But my faith in human nature takes a strong nose-dive when tourist season begins.


When you grow up in a small town or a small community, there is a true sense of peace knowing your neighbors and being familiar with those around you.  You learn to expect a certain level of camaraderie and happiness.  The members of the community embrace you and are quick with a smile and a genuinely warm hello.


With the arrival of the Canada Day long weekend, that seems to have changed.  No longer will you find the locals out shopping at all hours of the day and carrying on conversations as if nothing were more important.  Now those locals are hidden behind the doors of their homes, emerging only in the early hours of the day to do their shopping to avoid the onslaught of tourists.  The freedom of being able to enjoy our tiny town has vanished.


crowd




(image credit: theinertia.com)


I ventured out too late this morning and became caught in the vortex of that familiar angst and cynicism that seems to travel North on Highway 400 and vacation here during the months of July and August.  Everyone is in a rush to get everywhere and tempers are short.  I arrived at my familiar grocery store, exited my vehicle and my eardrums were pierced with two unfamiliar voices arguing about the angled parking  job of one of the overwhelmingly expensive vehicles in the parking lot.  I guess the memo about relaxing while on vacation was never sent!


We, as a community, have 10 short weeks to ‘make hay while the sun shines’, as the old saying goes.  For as much as these tourists treat us as an inferior breed of humans, they are a grand part of our existence.  So we grin and bear it….and we begin the countdown to Labor Day Monday.


Like animals emerging from hibernation, we allow ourselves to come out of our homes and once again greet the land and our surroundings after that glorious September long weekend.  We take deep breaths of fresh air and greet our friends with a smile, having survived another two months of insanity.  The local pub patios are packed with locals happily waving at the cars as they make their way back to their concrete jungle.  On rare occasions, streakers have been known to hit the streets with signs, wishing the tourists a safe ride home.  (well, it may have been worded differently, but you get the idea).


Until that day comes, I will do my best not to let the stress of these visitors infect my happy disposition.  66 days to go….but who’s counting??